Feelings Expressed

Stupid Feelings

baby why do I feel like you didn't want me to leave. Were you really that tired or did you just want to spend more time with me. We literally talked about how you don't like to shower in the morning. You could've easily went to shower but you didn't. You chose to stay watching things with me. Is it in my head or did you want to get closer to me as well. Even when you wanted to sleep badly you didn't kick me out. I wanted to stay. I liked being by your side. But I'm really trying to give you space and not make much of things. I can't help but remember our moments that also seemed as maybe nothing to you. Literally I think about it more than other things. Okay friends hug and get close but when you like them you think, well I think about it more. It was nothing with the other but then with you holding my leg I felt more. I thought about what it was touching and grazing. Did you know what it was touching and grazing. I may have had something to drink but those thoughts were there. You knew how to swim it seemed so why were you so keen on holding my leg. Wrapped on it with my leg between your legs. It grazed you, I remember that, at one point so did my knee. There were plenty of girls around and I kept looking and thinking of you. I lie to myself talking about other girls just to seem uninterested in you. I actually wasn't lying when I say I don't remember parts of when I got drunk with you but I do remember touching a lot and I get more comfortable but I do it more to someone I'm interested in. So what was that "come over here" shit. Were you really that tipsy after one drink. Actually I believe so considering I was worried cause you hadn't eaten anything. But still friendliness, getting comfortable, knowing everything there is to know between two people wouldn't the thought of liking your touch or our closeness cause me confusion about a situation. Okay we were drunk but what I've seen and heard and felt, real feelings come out and are sometimes shown. Okay I'm saying too much but i feel the need to write shit down. I like her.  I like you. Like I really do and i can't fucking undo my feelings. I can't really apologize for the way I feel anymore tho. I can't help that I feel this way. I want you in more ways than one and I also want to let you go.