She pushed me up against her bedroom door, and started to kiss me... hard. We took turns taking a breath in between kisses, whilst taking off our clothes until we were just in our underwear. I stop for a moment, out of breath, and look at her in her eyes. She stares back.
"Do you want this?" She asks me. Although she's drunk, she's pretty responsible. I think for a moment, but not much thought is there as the drink has already gotten to my head. I say fuck it. I lean in to kiss her again as we dive into the bed.
She kisses my collar bones and I leave out a soft moan, then the kisses travel down to my stomach, but then someone walks in through the door. I fill with rage.
"Oh! I'm sorry! I was looking just look for you Leigh" It was her mum. I look at her face, she's become pale.
"Mom! Please leave" she yells. The door closes. She gets up and pulls up her bra strap. I look at her with disappointment, but I understand why she would want to stop.
"Do you want to stop?" I say with concern.
"You should probably go look for your boyfriend" she says, getting up and putting her dress back on.
I look at her with confusion. Why is she giving me the cold shoulder? I get up, dress and then leave.
I walk through the living room and end up bumping into Jack.
"Where the hell have you been?" He raises is tone a bit.
"I don't get why you're having a go at me for? You're the one who left!" I yell back. People start to stare. He looks me up and down with disgust. He scoffs. "You're drunk.." He reaches into his pockets and grabs his car keys.
"We're leaving, I'm taking you home. I can't believe you right now" And just like that we left.
- Two weeks later-
So as every morning goes, I do the usual. Get up. Make coffee. Sit and watch tv. Feed my cat. Get dressed. And leave. But this time it's not to the Gym or to the Coffee shop. It's time to go to Grief Group.
I guess I didn't mention this whole part of my life, and I don't particularly want to talk about it, but the hint is in the name. Grief. Hmm take a wild guess on why I'm going? So, amongst all the other shit with my boyfriend, I'm currently on stage 4 of grief and I am loving every second of it. However I can't stand the place, and never actually end up going every week. But I'd rather go there than be stuck in the house doing the same thing every day, so I thought I'd mix it up a little. So I head off.
-
I am greeted at the door with two ladies, one who signs me in and the other who offers me a donut. I politely decline, and give my name.
"Kate ..." the lady gives me a smile.
"Hello Kate, just go on in and take a seat".
I wonder inside where there are a load of seats set out in a huge circle, which half of them are full. I take one next to an elderly man and a woman who looks her mid 30s.
Some time passes and we begin to start. The same lady who offered me a donut greats us all again, and explains what it is they do here.
"You're feelings are valid, and we are all here for the same thing. So there is no judgment, and it's a safe zone" she explains. Sure, I'm pretty sure half the people here are experiencing different emotions right now. But I guess we are all here for the same reason. We lost someone close to us. They go around the circle, so we can tell our life stories and mourn the person who left us. I never sit through this looking at people, I prefer listening to their stories because if I look at them, then I can see their pain. And I feel enough of that. Then when I leave, I don't know who was who and we go about our day as strangers. So I listen. A guy lost his mother to cancer, the next person lost her aunt to old age and then this girl lost her best friend to suicide. A lot of deep stuff goes on. Then it gets to the next person. They take a big breath, and start to introduce themselves.
"Hi everyone, I'm Leigh. And I lost my husband a few weeks ago, because he fell off of a cliff." She says with a bit of a depressing laugh.
Leigh....
Leigh....
I recognise that name, and the voice bit I can't pin where. As she carries on speaking it begins to bug me, and I can't go any longer staring at my fingers. So I look up.
It's the girl at the party.
