A Guide to Humans

Chapter 5: Weak

I sat in the captain's office, reading a bit of poetry from this book I had found full of poems from Kraxon. I had to work on learning the language so that I could teach it to our kid, but sometimes all these new letters just hurt my head.
Druka walked in and looked at me in shock.
"What are you doing here?"
"You wanted me to not be working, despite plenty of members of our crew being pregnant and still being allowed to work. It's not even strenuous work. I could sit the whole time, we have chairs with wheels."
"But we know what to expect with their pregnancies, we don't with yours."
"I will be fine. I am just sick of having to remind you all about that."
"You have been saying it longer than being on the ship."
"Yeah, and I was right then too." I shot back, crossing my arms.
"The answer is no."
"What's next, making me stay in the medbay?!" I protested, throwing my hands up.
Druka looked like he was considering it so I threw my book at him.
"Ow, hey!"
"Don't you dare think about it." I growled.
"Fabel, just calm down."
"Garmac warned you that using that phrase wouldn't end well." I reminded him.
"Listen, just take a few more days off and I will find you something to do that doesn't involve you being around plants that have spores and parasites riddling them."
"My lab is sanitary. It wouldn't be a problem. Besides, we are currently not working with anything that even makes harmful pollen or spores. And I sanitized so there are no more Treclin micro mites in the EFoR lab." I protested, pointing to a finger on my hand with each point.
"Can't risk it." He said as he climbed up onto the chair, slightly struggling.
"Why doesn't your chair swivel down?" I asked.
"I like this style better." He said, crossing his arms on the table.
"But it is putting distress on your joints, at this age you need to be careful, you are putting yourself at risk just by working so much, the least you could do is get a chair that makes your life easier." I said, smiling smugly as Druka's face twisted in disdain for the fact. Catching someone in a hypocrisy is one of the most fun ways to get what you want.

I got into my lab an hour before Marx solely to just enjoy working. I even did inventory and reorganized my cabinets before Marx walked in.
"Oh, you finally talked Druka into letting you work?"
"Yes!" I said cheerfully.
"What did you do to get that result?"
"You know how Druka has that old fashioned chair that doesn't swivel down?"
"Fabel, you didn't."
"I so did." I giggled.
"That is low."
"You used to have my communicator name as 'lowlife'. What else did you expect from me?" I snorted. Marx nodded, smirking.
"How is organizing going?"
"For a galaxy full of aliens smarter than humans, you still do use a lot of paper." I said, looking up from a pile of binders.
"Sometimes you just like not looking at a screen." Marx tsked at me, making me look at him.
"How did you make that noise?"
"What do you mean?"
"If I make that noise, I have to suck in my lips to my teeth. You can't suck a straw. How did you make that noise?"
Marx walked over to me and opened his mouth, showing me his second jaw, which if I didn't know him would make me scared because like all good 90s kids, I watched Alien way to young. He then proceeded to flick the second mouth against his lower palette, causing it to make a similar noise.
"Huh..." I tilted my head at him.
"Cool, right? Took me forever to learn how to copy the noise."
"You have grown to powerful." I said, staring at him with pseudo seriousness before cracking a smile.
"At least no one else can imitate that egregious noise you like to scream/moan."
"Hey, the hoy-yah thing is funny."
"To you and Marix only."
"That is a lie, Chanx also thinks it is funny."
"Semantics." Marx countered.
"I missed this." I said, beaming.
"Me too, flesh ape." Marx said, patting my head.
"Hey!" I protested, standing up.
"That's for calling me a bird frog." He said as he walked over to his station.
I rolled my eyes and turned on my desk lamp, putting my binders up.

I was crawling through a vent do to an 'emergency' with the EFaR lab involving a house cat getting out of it's cage. They just needed me to get it down and there was a vent opening near where she had perched herself.
I slid the opening off and crawled out, looking around for her.
Gleeb was a mostly white cat who had flecks of the lightest brown dipped on two feet, the tip of her right ear, and a smear of the color across her face from under her nose to her left cheekbone.
"Hey Gleeb, you want to come down?" I cooed, gently scratching the top of the cabinet. She turned and stared me down with those eery orange eyes. Then she stood and jumped down.
"What the hell Gleeb?" I sighed as a green Kraxon picked her up.
"She has a mind of her own." She chuckled, scratching behind her ear.
"She your pet?"
"Yeah, she actually stowawayed like you."
"How did that happen?"
"Foliage sample container with two sections empty." She shrugged. "They swore they only set it down for half a second." I smiled as I climbed down.
"She sounds like she knew what she was doing."
"I suppose the same could be said about you." She said as she looked up. "I am Dek."
"Nice to meet you Dek. You used to work on shuttle collection." I said, pointing at her. "I remember that first day I stayed hidden in the ducts around there and I watched you."
"Oh, really? I didn't realize you were there."
"I know, was kinda the point."
Dek snorted and put Gleeb in her cage as I climbed back down.
"What scared her up there?"
"She ran because it is time for her yearly blood test."
"Yikes, that can be scary for a cat. Even one that is incredibly independent."
"Yeah, but I would rather her be mad for a month than it be something terminal, you know."
"Absolutely... By the way, do Kraxons keep pets around kids and if so, which are safe?"
She blinked and looked at me.
"You want a pet and you are expecting a baby soon."
"Good point. Dumb idea." I said, standing and heading for the door.
"Wait, come back." She said and I did, as if I lost free will in that second.
"Why?" She asked me.
"My friends took me to a petting zoo."
"Have you ever had a pet?"
"No."
"Then why would you want one?"
"I don't know, why do you like Gleeb?" I asked.
"I don't, we both tolerate each other for mutual survival. I feed her and she calms me when I start to freak out when one of these little shits get sick." She explained, glaring at a water monitor in a cage with the last part.
"I take it this is the weakling you always are complaining about during lunch?"
"I am that loud?"
"No, I just pass behind you on the way to my table." I shrugged.
"But he is always getting sinus infections, he doesn't even have bedding and the ventilation in his cage is more than great. And just today, he banged his tail on the cage and snapped the tip."
"Ouch!" I looked at him, who looked completely fine and calm. "Why doesn't he look like he is in pain?"
"Pain meds. He takes in the most pain meds of any animal."
"Do you think he is just injuring himself to get pain meds?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"Can they develop that kind of addiction?"
"I don't know, but they are from Earth, so probably."
"I will have to check our notes." She looked down at the lizard. "Gonna call you Junkie if that turns out the case."
"You should tell Druka, he loves telling the crew these kinda stories and shaming the animals."
"He loves them in his own way." Dek shrugged.
"So..."
"Don't get one until the kids is at least six." Dek glared at me and I nodded, leaving quickly. She could be quite scary.