The Results of Your Lies

Chapter Five

Meredith sat in the stirrups waiting for the doctor to scrub. She knew the scrub time was around four minutes, but every one of those seconds waiting for the doctor was full of agony and pain. Pain that she had to go through alone. Pain causes her to long for Derek, for her mother, even for her father. But the realities were there. Derek was in New York with his wife. Ellis was in a nursing home living with Alzheimer's. Her father... well her father she hadn't heard from since she was five years old and he left. Even Cristina was in surgery.

As Meredith waited for the OB to come in to deliver her baby, she couldn't help but reminisce about her and Derek. Her heart went cold as she thought of what would happen when the baby came out. Would it be a boy or a girl? Would it look more like him, like her, or a mix of both of their perfect features.

Meredith stormed out of the hospital after she dropped Joe off. She'd stayed to make sure he was alright, she thought the tequila had helped with the anger, but as soon as she'd seen his face she felt like screaming. He tried to hand her Joe's chart, but she rolled her eyes, signifying that she was turning down his offer to take the case. Cristina took the chart from him, as Meredith stormed out. She needed to go home.

Derek tried following. Izzie blocked him twice, then George tried twice as well. Derek's fifth try to get past the two of them was successful. He began chasing after Meredith.

"Meredith!" He ran towards her.

"Go away." She said flat out, she continued speed walking away from him.

"Just wait. We should discuss this." He caught up to her.

She stopped, then turned around. "Here's a thought. No. Quit following me." She yelled before turning around and walking out of the entrance to the hospital.

"At least let me explain." He began running after her again.

"Explain?! You know when you should've explained? The night we met in the bar, before any of the rest of it. Yeah, that would've been a good time to discuss this." She yelled. She faced him for a second, then began speed walking to her car again.

He speed walked behind her. "Look, I know how you feel..."

She finally stopped walking again. She turned around so they were once again face to face. She'd previously loved seeing his dreamy face, but now, it just pissed her off. "Do you? Somehow I doubt that. Because if you did, you would shut up and you would turn around and go back inside, because you would realize that I am this close to getting in my car, and running you down in the parking lot!" She yelled, once again. She went to her car, George followed her, demanding for her keys. Derek stayed where he was, and watched her walk away in a rage from the hospital.

"Dr. Grey, are we ready to have this baby?" The doctor asked as she entered the delivery room. This broke her memory of the night, but she didn't mind. All she needed was a reminder of why it was better she was without him.

"Ready as I'll ever be" She replied, with obvious nervousness in her voice. If she wasn't going through pain now, she sure as hell would be in a few seconds.

The lead doctor sat in a chair facing Meredith. There were four doctors in the room, and a nurse there for extra support to Meredith. "Are you ready Meredith? ... Okay, give me one biiiiggggg push."

Meredith screamed in agony. She pushed as hard as she could. She'd heard no baby cry yet.

"Okay, give me another one."

She screamed again. Every fiber in her being wished she'd chosen to have a c-section, but Meredith wanted the fastest recovery time possible since she was about to be a single mother. She stopped pushing for a second to catch her breath, then began pushing again.

Seconds later, she heard the doctor say, "Great job, Meredith. You have a beautiful baby girl." The baby began to cry as they set her on chest to cut the umbilical cord. Meredith felt full with joy. More joy than anything, even surgery, had ever given her in life. The doctor took the baby away to get cleaned up and swaddled in a hospital blanket. When they took her away, I began to cry.

I loved this baby more than anything. This was part of me. She was a part of me. She had my DNA. She had Derek's DNA. Damn it. Derek. They handed her back to me. I immediately kissed her head the moment she was let into my arms. I realized she didn't have a name. I needed a name for her birth certificate. I didn't want to leave Derek out of her name, so I chose her last name to be Grey-Shepherd.

Minutes later she began to cry. I unbuttoned my gown and breastfed her. She suckled on my breast as I realized what her name was. Charlotte Carolyn Grey-Shepherd. She didn't know much about his mom. But the few things he told her were enough for her to like her. She knew if we'd met we'd get along. She wanted him to know she was partially named after his mother. He'd like it. But she couldn't. She immediately wanted to call Derek. She pressed the call room for a nurse.

When the nurse came in, Meredith said lightly, "I want to call her father. Immediately." she demanded to the nurse, as one nurse rushed out, the other one stayed. "I know her name..." She said lightly.

"Go ahead, Dr. Grey."

"It's..." She rethought the name for a second. Then she decided, this is the right choice. "Her name is Charlotte Carolyn Grey-Shepherd". She continued. 

The nurse put the name down on the top of the certificate by the date and time. "Mothers first, middle, and last name?"

"Meredith Ellis Grey" She responded.

"Father's first, middle, and last name?" The doctor asked again. This was the final question.

Meredith hesitated. She'd heard his middle name once or twice. She didn't want to get it wrong. "Derek Christopher Shepherd" She finally told the nurse. She'd signed the certificate.

Meredith stopped feeding Charlotte after a few minutes, then lifted her to burp her. She'd soaked this moment in. It was a special one. She grabbed her flip phone and snapped a picture. She'd looked exhausted after being in labor and giving birth. But she wouldn't trade this for the world.

"Dr. Grey?" the nurse came in interrupting this wholesome moment. This was the nurse she asked to call Derek. She suddenly remembered Derek. "Sorry to interrupt... it's just... I called him, it's still ringing."

"Okay. Thanks." it rang and it rang, until the phone went to voicemail.

She hung the phone up in disappointment. She wasn't going to say "Hey Derek remember the last time we fucked? Well yeah. It knocked me up. Now I'm a patient at Seattle Grace and I just gave birth to a little girl whose middle name is after your mother. Thought you'd like to know!" Meredith laughed at this ridiculous thought of telling him that crap.

She looked back down at her baby. Her baby wore a pretty pink hat and was wrapped in a white and pink blanket. Meredith had changed a lot in the past nine months. She'd wondered how much she'd change in the next eighteen to twenty years of her daughter's wife. She also wondered if she'd ever have more kids. She hadn't ever originally wanted kids, but decided to keep Charlotte because she just couldn't end the pregnancy.

Charlotte finally opened her eyes, and looked at her mother. Meredith saw this, and began to cry instantly. She had beautiful blue eyes. Then she saw it, she saw the glow her baby had. It reminded her of Derek. She was right about the baby looking like both of them.

"Hi, Charlotte. I'm your mommy. That's right, I'm your mama." She blinked away more tears, they began to stream down her face. She was truly happy. All the doubt, all the nervousness, all the emotion, everything led to this moment.

Meredith gazed at her daughters beautiful blue eyes, her medium brown hair that she knew without a doubt would have her father's curls, her tiny nose that she got from her mother. Her lips, from Meredith. Everything else left of her features would take a while to grow and then she could see. Meredith was happy, so truly happy.