WereWolf Love

Chapter 8: I have no idea

TW!!: Mentions of Suicide

The next morning, the Hospital Wing doors were opened. Sirius woke up to Regulus waiting by the door.

"LET ME IN!!" He shouted.

Madam Pomfrey let him in, and he almost fell through the door. He and Sirius rushed over to Lilith. 

She seemed even more beat up than yesterday. Regulus instantly checked her over. They were just glad she was alive.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry I wasn't there. Are you ok?" Regulus asked again.

"I'm fine Reg. Sirius, what are you still doing here?" Lilith asked a bit confused.

Sirius looked caught. Regulus just smirked.

"I was just making sure you were still alive. You weren't breathing!" Sirius half shouted.

"I know. And I apologize for scaring you." 

Regulus and Sirius sat down on opposite sides of the bed.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?" Regulus asked, his voice soft.

"I was tired of all the pity and the pain. And the knowledge. The secret. My secret. REG, I HATE THIS! I CAN'T STAND IT!" Lilith screamed suddenly desperately wrapping Regulus into a hug.

Regulus held her close to him, tears in his eyes. Lilith pushed Regulus away and ran out of the Hospital Wing.

)o(

Lilith broke down in tears when she reached an abandoned hallway. She was tempted to try again. Very tempted.

"Lilith, are you ok?" a voice asked.

It was Remus. He was still a bit off from last night. 

"I'm fine. I just don't know how you do it. I hate it so much. The only reason I'm alive is because of the change. I was so lucky. Rem, how do you do it?" Lilith asked.

Remus chuckled.

"I have no idea." He answered.

Lilith gave him a dark laugh. 

"Do you ever get the feeling that it's not worth it?" She asked.

"All the time. But James and the rest of the boys help me through. They know I feel like I'm a monster but they help me through it." Remus explained.

"Only you and Reg know. I'm too scared to tell anyone." Lilith admitted.

"It's fine. I missed you last night. You usually howl from your tree." Remus laughed.

"Yah. Madam Pomfrey fixed the Hospital Wing so I could change there. It hurt so much." Lilith said.

Remus and Lilith sat there for a while. 

"Do you like anybody?" Remus asked, quietly.

Lilith raised an eyebrow at him.

"I only like you as a really good friend. And no, I don't like anybody? I mean who would want to date much less marry me?" Lilith scoffed.

"I only like you as a friend as well. But if someone asked you on a date, what would you say?" He pushed.

"I would say no. Unless, it's under extreme circumstances. And I try to stay away from making romantic attachments." Lilith explained.

"What about Sirius?" Remus asked, suddenly getting really interested in his fingernails.

"What do you mean? What about Sirius?" Lilith asked.

"Would you go on a date with him? He knows about me." Remus said.

"No. I wouldn't. Remus, at home. Lily is the favorite. Petunia is second favorite. Nobody looks at me. Yes, I get fed and treated well but I just get ignored. I don't feel any love for my family. I had and still have a really hard time developing friendships because I don't understand why people would love me. And I hate myself. Rem- I have to go." Lilith got up and ran off.

Remus sighed.

"Sirius needs to get his act together before she completely cuts people off."

)o(

Full Moon Tonight

At lunch that night, Lilith was sitting about a foot away from Remus and was even farther away from everybody else. 

"Lil, sit with us." Sirius asked.

Lilith just looked down at her food and didn't answer. Remus rolled his eyes and dragged her over, so she was sitting right next to him. She glared at him and left the Great Hall. He sighed in exasperation. 

"What's with her?" James said.

"Shut up! James!" Remus and Sirius yelled at him. 

"Since when do you suddenly care?" Remus snapped.

Sirius turned red.

"I've always cared about Lilith." He said.

"If you cared about her than you would have noticed how she's distancing herself from everybody!" Remus shouted.

It was a good thing Lily wasn't here.

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"That's for you to find out. I'm gonna go lie down." Remus left the Great Hall.

"So you like Lilith." James stated.

"Yup."

"Why don't you ask her out?"  

"Because she's always with Remus."

"You know they aren't a thing right?"

"I know. But it's not like she'd say yes." 

"Maybe she would." 

"I don't want to take that chance. And if she doesn't like me then we're good. And not until I find out why she's so weird." Sirius said.

James nodded.

"It might be too late by then." Peter said, softly.

"Why do you say that?" Sirius and James asked.

"Didn't you listen to Remus?" Peter said.

A/N 

Update. YAY!! I'm happy. Also this is a Sirius Black x OC. 

TTYL

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