Fall » Mikey Fusco

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*EDITED*

LYDIA

I remember the day I wanted to start dance. I was two and had just learned to run. I was watching some kind of dance with my mom on YouTube and saw an option for a contemporary routine. The picture showed this girl with long blond hair and maroon flowey dress.

I told my mom to click on it and she did. That video changed everything. The way she moved, so swift and as smooth as water; her and her partner just owned the stage.

I wanted that.

And I told my mom.

She signed me up for ballet, because technique is so important even though it is the most annoying thing to learn in the dance world. But I loved it. Every other day I had a lesson and I practised when I didn't.

My mom saw my determination but was a little bit sceptical about letting me continue because she had grown up doing hip hop.

An entirely different style of dance. But I didn't care about her scepticism. I just wanted to dance.

So when I was finally old enough to do contemporary, she put my name down and there I was.

Ten years old at my very first solo recital. Scared as all hell, I stepped out on stage and froze. That is, until the music started.

I don't know what came over me, but I closed my eyes and the music carried me through the entire thing. I didn't even realize it was over until the crowd was clapping and whistling and my mom was screaming from the front row.

I took a bow and ran off stage, and I cried. I completely broke down. At the age of ten, I had danced infront of hundreds of people and none of the fears had gripped me until then.

I cried for two hours.

But when I went to bed that night, I couldn't stop smiling, because I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

******

Emily and her dad sit together on her bed as Nurse Helen puts a cast on my best friends knee. Emily doesn't wince from any pain, she just leans on her father and holds Mr. Snuffy. She's been strong for the past eight hours and I'm still wondering how she's not broken down yet.

The sound of a gurney being pushed past makes me sit up from my chair and watch. It's me. My surgery is over.

Giving Emily one last look, I run after the doctors and watch them put me in a room and hook me up to a bunch of machines. Nurse Helen had followed and they start talking in hushed voices.

I can't hear much, but I do catch a few things. I'm not able to be in ICU yet and only family can see me. Unfortunately, the only family I have is my aunt Lisa and she is halfway across the world right now doing a dance tour.

So I'll be alone for a little while. Looking down at my broken body, I see all the features that I never saw before. Like how pretty my hair really is and how long my eyelashes are. My hands are small and Mikey always said they were cute but I hated them. My nails are a little long, long enough to be pretty.

But it's the back brace that catches my attention. I may be paralysed from the waist down, and that right there would ruin my life. No more walking. No more running after Thalia. No more dance.

"She needs somebody in there!" someone shouts from outside my room.

"Only family is allowed!" Nurse Helen says.

I look over and see Emily and her dad. "Please," Emily begs. "her aunt won't be able to make it here before next week. We're the only family she has right now."

Nurse Helen sighs and gives Emily the I'm-so-gonna-get-in-trouble look. She slides the door open to my room and Emily limps in and sits on my left side.

"Oh jeez Angel, you've never looked so crappy in your entire life." she giggles and so do I.

"Thanks, Em."

It sucks that she can't hear me. It's definitely depressing but at least I can still listen to her.

"Lydia you can't leave. I need you to fight....like you've never fought before. I know there may be some things that will make you wanna let go but don't. Fight for your legs. Fight for me."

And that's when she breaks down. Tears, loud sobs....and it hurts to watch. I turn away and leave, not able to handle what Emily is doing.

I'm supposed to fight for my life. But how do I even do that? I don't know where my mom is, or even if Thalia is gonna be okay. How do I fight when I may have nothing left?

But I do. I still have Emily.

And I have to hang onto that.