Fall » Mikey Fusco

/10\

*EDITED*

LYDIA

Mikey doesn't leave when visiting hours are over. Nurse Helen convinced the doctors to let him stay. He is now the only one in my room other than me. The conscious me and...unconscious me.

I think back to the night Mikey and I fought. It's painful, but I try to see if there was a point where we judged too harshly, or could've not even brought up a fight.

But I see no exit; only regret in what I told him.

******

Emily and I had a photoshoot. Our dance studio did them every year and they always turned out really amazing. I had always wanted to do it.

This year, the special effect was sand and I was so excited to use it. Emily acted normal on the outside but I knew deep down she was jumping for joy.

The shoot went well. My favourite two pictures were the ones where Emily and I were relying on each other to make the perfect pose. One was me in a needle as she supported me down in the splits. And the second was us holding each others hips and leaning back with our free arms extended. Sand leaked from the cracks in our fingers and it was magical. A beautiful picture.

I had called Mikey earlier to see if he wanted to hang out. This was about a week after our kiss and I wasn't sure if we were okay since we hadn't spoken.

I had just changed back into my sweats and one of his sweaters, when he showed up. Only he had a girl on his arm.

Long blond hair, thin, perfect complexion. A wonderful Barbie. That made me feel awesome. (hint the sarcasm)

"Hey," I smiled, shyly. "you made it."

"Yeah. Lydia, this is Carly. She's my new girlfriend." he said, with a bright smile on his face.

We waved at each other awkwardly as my heart dropped into the acid pit in my stomach. It hurt to breath, it hurt to even look at him.

"Okay, well, I have to go. I've got a practice for the recital next week." I said quickly, before walking out of the studio.

That was a total lie, and as I strung my dance bag over my shoulders and started my walk home, I couldn't stop thinking of the perfect girl I had been replaced with.

It wasn't fair. I was supposed to be the one on his arm. I actually believed my friends and what they said about him liking me.

But I thought I was wrong.

Later that night, I was going out to get some candy for my sister when I saw Mikey giving his new girlfriend a kiss good-bye. Actually, it was more like them sucking each others faces off outside of his house but that's cool to.

When I got back from the mini mart, Mikey was sitting on the steps outside my house. I stopped short when I saw him, and my legs refused to move.

"Lydie..." Mikey stood up and instantly saw the pain in my eyes. "let me explain-"

"Explain? What's there to explain, you found someone better." I said, quietly with a small shrug.

"No I just...that kiss was a mistake." he said, walking closer to me.

"A mistake?" anger started to boil over in my gut. "It wasn't a mistake to me."

"Crap, that came out wrong. I-I just..." Mikey struggled.

"What, you what?" I pushed.

"Lydia I can't." Mikey said.

"Can't what?" I yelled.

"I just can't! I hate you Lydia!" he burst.

I think being punched in the face would've hurt less. I took a step back as if he had actually attempted a swing. I was utterly confused as to what he meant. He couldn't hate me after all this.

"You what?" my voice was barely audible, but he somehow heard me.

"I hate the way you make me feel," he elaborates and runs a hand over his face. "I hate the way you look at me when you're happy because it makes me feel warm inside. I hate it when you're sad because I can never make you feel better even though you say my presence is enough. I wanna talk to you, and be there for you but I can't and I know I'm not good enough.

"And I hated....hated that kiss between us because the next morning I just wanted more. I wanted to hold you so close I would feel your heart beating and I wanted to feel your lips on mine. I hate you for making me feel like this! This is how I get my heart broken!"

"So it's my fault, is that it?" I yelled. "My fault that you hate me? For being me?"

"I don't know!" he shouted back. "That's the thing, I don't fucking know! You are so different from the other girls. You're innocent and good and kind and you have me wrapped around your little finger."

I looked away, not able to speak. I didn't know how to reply to this.

"You're the girl my mom warned me about but she never told me how much this would hurt. I'm not even dating you and I'm already breaking us." he complained.

"You don't have to! I'm here! I'm always here, you catch me, I catch you remember that?" I told him.

"I'm letting you go." Mikey said, quickly as if he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to.

I nodded, completely done.

"Fine. Let me fall. Leave me. Because you're too selfish to see what you're even doing to me." I took a deep breath and walked past him and into the house without another word.

******

I remember crying for hours about that night. He hated me because if how I made him feel. I made him feel something real.

Standing up, I walk over to him as he sleeps. "I'm sorry. You were always so amazing to me. I didn't mean for you to fall in love with me. I see now that you were trying to tell me that night. And I got a different idea and...screwed it up. It's my fault."

I lay my hand on his and he suddenly jolts awake. I jump back and watch as Mikey gets up and looks around. I frown and keep watching him as he settles back into the chair.

"Lydia...it's not your fault. If you can hear me...or if you're....here in a way...it's me. I shouldn't have been so scared. You are the girl my mom told me about all in one. Nice, sweet, funny, caring, mysterious...but a heartbreaker, someone who could do some damage on me in a fight."

I smile and listen as he continues, "and I love you for that."

He lays his hand on my real one and I watch as he sits there like that. In a few seconds, he starts singing Please Don't Go Girl.

I simply sit and sing along.

______________________________________

I know it's short but how was it?

I'm thinking of adding more and deepening their relationship a little more. Please comment and tell me what you think?

Sincerely,

~Jenny