𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐑

介绍

[Excuse the mistakes]

THE CLARK RESIDENCE
Helen, Georgia
-6:55pm-

| Elijah |

I've been nervously awaiting this day for quite some time. I've been putting off doing this for weeks now .

Some days I found myself counting down the time . Other days I found myself adding and adding and adding ...

For the previous six weeks I've tried and tried to convince myself to do it ; just to say it . But truth is it's more complicated than "just saying it".

I wish it all could be that simple . I wish I could be brave .

I'm putting my whole life on the line , honestly . Who knows how everyone will react? Not just my family , but my friends , people at school ; the world .

I've always felt like there was something different about me, yet I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

I've always stuck out and lucky for me that's been a good things . It's even caused me to be in the spotlight more than i'd like to be .

I sighed and closed my eyes wishing dinner was over already.

I can no longer count on my hands how many times I've had this battle within myself .

Here I was yet again attempting to hype myself up .

This is something that needs to be done , it needs to be said.

If you would've told me four years ago that I'd be preparing to do something like this I'd honestly laugh .

Hell , even one year ago .

If I'm having a hard time accepting myself .. how can I expect other to ?

If I can't even feel comfortable in my sexuality.. how can I expect others to be comfortable around me ?

Tears I didn't realize I was holding threatened to slip out .

Sometimes I still can't quite wrap my mind around how things came to the light , but it's always best to live in your truth no matter what .

I heard a soft knock on my door and quickly wiped my falling tears .

The door slowly opened followed by my mom coming in and letting me know dinner was ready.

I stared at the ceiling for what seemed like forever silently rehearsing what I would say .

My mind drifted to thoughts of me chickening out again , but I quickly shoved them to the back of my mind .

I swung my legs to the side of the bed and rubbed my face. Here goes nothing.

My name is Elijah Clark and I think I'm gay.

There's really no "think" in it . I've been housing my secret for a little under a year now .

I have finally had enough of pretending ; masking my true identity.