you are the reason - Rafe Cameron

XII - apologize

I wake up to Rafe getting changed next to me. He looks over.
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't, don't worry." He sits next to me on the bed pulling on his shirt.
"My dad messaged me to meet him on the boat so I'm guessing I gotta help him." I nod. He kisses my head and climbs out the window. I notice his jacket on the chair so I walk over, using the duvet to cover my unclothed body. There's a note on it.

Keep this. I'd rather you keep it so it's like I'm always there.
"A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed colour. And a day was good to awaken to..."
Rafe xx

I smile at the note and grab my phone to message him.

Rafe x

"And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid anymore."

I love you Shay James

And I love you Rafe Cameron

I get changed to a baggy shirt and cycling shirts and head downstairs. Going to the mess I'm sure I'm going to have to clean. I reach the bottom step to see the whole place clean. Has Nathan actually cleaned? That's when I look to the kitchen and see her, stood facing the window. I step down and slowly walk to the kitchen that's when she turns around. A smile on her face.
"Hello sweetheart."
"Mom." My voice breaks.

I'm sat at the table as she brings a drink over to me. She places both mine and her cup down and she sits infront of me.
"Wow really? God Mom you really know how to show your sorry. I've forgiven you for making me a drink." I shrug and lean back in my chair.

"Listen sweetie, I'm sorry. Just let me explain."
"Want me to go get a pen and paper for you?"
"Hey that's not fair." I get up from my chair.
"No Mom you know what's not fair? Abandoning your fucking children. I don't care if I'm 17 and Nath's 19, we are still your children. You know we lost dad too huh. We have no one. No parent figure, we have to take care of our fucking selves and each other in some aspects. We have to pay for everything ourselves with that tiny portion of money you left. How could you do that? How can you just pack your shit and leave? Leave your own kids when they were grieving and suffering over losing their dad? No you just wanted to add fuel to the fire and ditch us too. You fucking left us! You left us when we were at our lowest. When we needed our mom the most, you left. No you know what you are not my mother so I kindly ask you to pack your stuff back up and head back to wherever you got here from." I shout. Uncontrollable tears stream from my eyes.
Nathan starts walking down the stairs.

"Can you just shut up for two sec- mom?" Nathans eyes open at the sight of mom sat there.
"Hello son." He looks at me as if to say what the hell is going on. I shake my head and shrug my shoulders.

"Oh I'm sorry did you not take everything with you when you left? Or did you remember you had children." He says. His face looks so hurt at her presence.
"I'm sorry Nath and I'm sorry S." My mom says.
"It's Nathan and Shaine to you." Nathan replies.
"Just let me make it up to you ok? How about I go the store and get us some food for later."
"Aww S she's making new excuses to leave now." Nathan says looking at me, laughing. Kind of shocked at Nathan calling me S.
Nathan storms back upstairs and I leave. I drive to the beach. I need to clear my head.

I've been sat at the beach for a couple hours. The tears dried on my face. I grab my phone and ring the person I need the most.

Rafe : "Hey Shay you ok?"

Shaine : "No." I say breaking down.

Rafe : "Wo-wo-woah what's wrong? Shay?"