you are the reason - Rafe Cameron

X - no time to die

I'm asleep well now half asleep when I feel something on my cheek. It feels like a hand with a thumb stroking against it. A familiar scent travels closer to me, cigarettes and Nautica Blue Eau De Toilette Spray. My eyes open to see Rafe sat on the edge of my bed, his hand to my face. It's dark out so I must have slept for a couple hours. But more important than that, why is Rafe here?

"Hi." He whispers. My heart breaks even more at the sight of him.
"What are you doing here?" I whisper asking.
"I wanted to tell you I'm sorry." His hand moves from my face and he starts playing with his ring. I sit up.

"It's fine. You don't want me if that's how you feel you need to just go." I say
"It's not okay. It's not. I just - I relapsed. It was just a blip. I don't need that stuff."
"But you do Rafe or else you wouldn't have gone back to it."
"I don't. I made a stupid mistake and what I did was wrong."
"Which part? You holding a knife towards me or taking drugs."
"All of it. Every single bit of it was so fucked up. I'm disgusted at myself for treating you like that. I really am so sorry."
"Why did you do it?" I feel the tears forming in my eyes again.
"Why did you take the drugs again in the first place?"
"Last night."
"What about it?"
"You were drunk when I told you so I know you don't remember."
"Well just tell me. Did I do something?" What happened last night? I hope I didn't.
"No. No it wasn't you. It was me."
"What was you?" I feel worried now.
"When I took you to bed we were talking and I told you something." I sit up straighter.

"You asked me about love and I told you 'I was always taught that love makes you weak'. And that is the truth. I've never known love. I didn't get to feel the love off of my mom and my dad he just hates me. I never knew what love was, until last night. It was then I realised what it was and how it felt. I just wanted to run away from that feeling because I am so fucked up. And no one can love a fuck up."
"You are not a fuck up Rafe. How is it your fault that you have went through what you have? But the last thing you should have thought about was drugs. Is this why you've been ignoring me? Because of what you said about your dad?"

"No. Like I said I run away from love."
"What are you trying to say?" At this point I'm confused at what he wants.
"I'm saying well I'm trying to say that I uh-" he wipes his face with his hand.
"Fuck I just I- I love you Shay." I stare at him with a blank facial expression. My heart feels like it's going to fall out my mouth.

"You uh- you what?"
"I love you." He's staring into my eyes. Intimidating as hell. I bite my lip.
"I love you too."
"Too?"
"Okay fine, I love you Rafe Cameron." He reaches under my blanket and grabs my hand. I feel a sudden ache at this and I look down to see my wrist is all bruised. His hand prints perfectly shapes on there. I snap my hand away and attempt to cover it with my other hand. I don't want him to see it. He frowns his brows.

"What? What's wrong?"
"Uh i- nothing."
"Let me see."
"No." He pulls my hand of my wrist, revealing his marks. He looks down at it. His finger strokes over the bruises.
"Oh fuck, fuck I'm I- I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It's fine. I'm fine. Don't worry."
"No it's not look at what I did to you." He lifts my wrist. I cup his face in my hand. His eyes start to fill with tears but I can tell he's holding them back. I wrap my arms around his neck and I hug him. He wraps his around my waist. We hold it for a while till he gets into the bed with me. My head on his chest. He pulls my leg so it's lying across him. He strokes my hair slowly as I fall asleep in his arms.

I wake up in Rafe's arms. His hand stroking shoulder. He's staring at the ceiling as I look up to him. He notices i'm awake and holds me closer.
"Your never awake before me." I ask
"I didn't really sleep."
"How long have you been awake?"
"I don't know. Maybe like a few hours before sunrise." I don't know why this worries me. He's always been the sleepier one out of us.

"What time is it?" I ask. He reaches to his phone.
"Eight AM." I sigh.
"That means I got to get up. I got to tutor Wheeze today." Rafe rolls his eyes.
"Can't we just stay here?" He snuggles his head in my neck.
"I want to but I have got to go, sorry."
We have one last cuddle then we get out of bed and I greet Rafe out... through my window.

I get changed into a mustard yellow crop top and white jeans. Converse of course. It's around 8:30 so I grab my phone, bag and I go to my car to drive to the Cameron's.

I arrive and Sarah opens the door.
"Hey S you ok?" She says letting me in.
"Yeah i'm okay, i'm tutoring Wheeze today." Sarah nods. We walk to the kitchen and I see Wheezie sat at the table. She has a sad look on her face.

"Is she ok?" I ask Sarah.
"I honestly don't know. She's just worried about Rafe."
"Why? What about Rafe?" Sarah looks at me. Her face looked scared, worried.
"Last night, Rafe and my dad had an argument and he stormed off. He didn't come back so Wheeze went to his room and she found his stuff."
"What stuff?" Sarah sighs.
"His erm, his coke." I act shocked.

"Shit. He's using again?"
"Looks like it. He better wait till he comes back." I look confused at first but then realise I need to snap out of it.
"He still isn't back?"
"No. I don't know where he is. Wheeze is so worried about him as am I." As she says that the front door opens. Rafe walks through. He stops and looks at us all in the kitchen. Wheezie jumps up and runs to hug him. He wraps his arms around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry Wheeze." He's always had a soft spot for Wheezie. He won't ever admit it but he absolutely adores her more than anyone. Yeah they argue but he wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt her. She let's go and looks back at Sarah. Wheezies smile turns to a frown when she sees Sarah's face. She looked angry.

"I'm going to get my books for a very long time." I smile at her.
"Do you want me to go?" I whisper to Sarah. She shakes her head. Her eyes not leaving Rafe. She walks up to him and slaps him across the face. My eyes widen at her action.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She shouts.
"How could you do that to me? To Wheeze? She was up all night Rafe. Worried sick about where you were and what you were doing. God she found your fucking drugs in your room too. How is that nice for her to find Rafe?" I've never seen Sarah so angry. Rafe just stares to the floor.

"Hello? Are you high?" She clicks her fingers at him. He looks at her.
"I'm sorry." Sarah scoffs.
"Sorry? Your sorry. God well done. Hey S he's sorry so it's all ok now." Sarah says looking back at me. I look down and fiddle with my hands.
"God Rafe you seriously need to start taking care of your shit. I mean it." She storms away through the front door. Rafe just stares at me.

He mouths 'sorry' and I smile weakly at him. Wheezie starts coming back down the stairs and Rafe walks away to the bottom of the stair case.
"I'm sorry Wheeze. I'm going to get my shit together ok? For you and for- just for you." What else was he going to say?

Wheezie's eyes fill with tears as she nods. Rafe holds her head to his stomach and she wraps her arms around him. She walks towards me in the kitchen and Rafe walks up the stairs. She sits down and I sit with her. She looks fed up.
"How about we have a chill day." I ask. Her face lights up.
"I'm thinking about a movie. You guess, we watch." I say.
"Ermmm, Five Feet Apart?" I nod.
"You know me so well." I say laughing.
"Yes I do." She says also laughing.

We are watching the movie and Wheezie starts to cry. I hold my arms open and she sits next to me for a hug.
"I just don't understand how he could leave her." I nod.
"Ever heard the saying "if you love someone set them free-" I say
"And if they find you again, it was meant to be." We say at the same time.

"Yeah you taught me that." She says. I smile.
"Love you S."
"Love you too Wheeze."
Wheezie really was like the little sister I never had. She always told me and Sarah about the dramas, gossip, crushes. I loved that me and her had that bond seeing as I no longer had that with Nathan.

I grab my things and head home. As I enter the door, I see Nathan sat there at the table in the kitchen with Kelce and Topper. Oh shit...