Death Dance || Hyunlix

3

tw!! self harm! if you don't like that please skip! <3

felix pov

i unlocked my door, rushing into my apartment and locking it behind me. i dropped my bag on the floor, walking to my bathroom. i groaned at the memory of my day, deciding to take a shower.

i set the water on hot and waited for it to warm up, stripping my clothes off while waiting. i glanced at the sink, seeing a blade sitting there. i tried to shake the thoughts from my head, but failed.

i stepped into the shower with the blade in my hand, watching the blood run down my wrists and disappear into the drain. i sliced more, reopening the cuts from a few nights ago and adding a few new ones. i watched as the blood mixed with the water, turning it to a light pink color before disappearing completely. i winced as the water stung the fresh cuts, but i told myself i deserved it.

for getting yeonjun hurt.
for getting kicked out of the house.
for getting bullied all the time.
i deserve it all.

my movements became faster as i moved to my other wrist, watching the dark blood run down my hand as i stared at it in awe.

it would be so much easier to just end it.
all the suffering would be gone.
no one would care that you were gone.

yeonjun. yeonjun would care, i knew that for a fact. but probably no one else. i sighed as i set the blade down, pouring shampoo into my hair and lightly scrubbing it in.

i let the hot water run over my skin, lightly burning me. i rinsed my hair and turned the water off, grabbing my towel and drying off. i glanced at the blade, grabbing it before leaving the bathroom.

i sat on my bed half dressed, a large shirt and boxers covering my small body. i looked down at my exposed thighs, noticing the clean slate. i sighed, bringing the blade against my skin, but not pressing. i glanced at my phone, deciding to use it.

"y-yeonjun hyung.. can you.. come over, maybe?" i stuttered, hearing my shaky voice. i heard his panicked tone, and then some rustling.

"i'm coming lixie, wait for me okay? don't do anything, i'll be there in 5." he said frantically, and i heard his door slam and a car door open.

"t-thank you..." i said, barely audible. i hung up the phone soon after, finally pressing the blade into my skin. i drug it slowly, making sure i felt every layer of skin slicing.

i cried silently, wishing i could stop. i moved up some, adding more marks. i heard frantic keys in my door, but i was unfazed.

i saw a flash of yellow and yeonjun was immediately at my side, taking my hand gently away from my bleeding thighs and setting the blade down quickly.

"baby..." yeonjun whispered, rubbing my back for a second before jumping up and sprinting into the bathroom. i watched blankly as he rushed back towards me, squatting in front of me. i winced at the wet rag being wiped across my torn skin, biting my lip to refrain from sounding weak.

"honey, you're not weak. you're allowed to be in pain, okay?" yeonjun said soothingly, realizing what i was thinking and rubbing my hand with his free one. i nodded, letting a tear slip down my cheek.

"this is gonna burn a little, okay? i promise i'll make it better." he cooed, rubbing circles into my hand. i flinched as he put a cream onto my legs, then wrapped them with gauze.

i watched his gaze travel up to my own, his eyes glistening with tears. i knew what his eyes were asking, so i allowed my own gaze to flick down to my wrists.

he immediately went to tending to them, wrapping them the same as my thighs. i blushed slightly when i realized i had just boxers and a shirt on, but i knew yeonjun didn't care.

"thank you." i whispered, knowing he'd hear me. he didn't say anything, but instead grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down onto the bed with him. i snuggled closer to him immediately, feeling his arms snake around my body to pull me flush to his own.

"thank you for calling me.." he said quietly.

"i don't know what if do if i lost you lix, i-" his voice broke off, causing my heart to want to shatter. i pressed my fingers to his lips, brushing away the tears that i could feel on his face.

"will you stay with me tonight? i um, don't know how i'll be if you leave." i mumbled quietly, propping myself and up looking up at him, waiting for his answer.

"of course lix. i'd live with you if it came down to it." he answered immediately, causing me to smile lightly.

"we should skip school tomorrowww." i complained, trying to lighten the mood. yeonjun chuckled, and i already knew his answer.

"no lixie, we'll get in trouble." he said, causing me to groan.

"what if you get hurt again?" i asked, looking into his eyes.

"i'll be okay, lix. stop worry so much about me, you have to focus on yourself some too, okay?" he said caringly, taking my hand into his yet again.

"what would i do without you, yeonjunnie?" i asked suddenly, realizing how much this boy meant to me.

"probably die- hey! don't hit me!" he chuckled, forcing my head down to lay on his chest.

it was late and i was tired, feeling drained from earlier and the day at school. yeonjuns warm body and tight embrace were the last things i felt as i knocked out, falling asleep within minutes of being still.

"love you lix." i managed to hear before drifting off, causing me to smile.

"love you too hyungie.."