The House Where Love Grows

Chapter Twenty Eight

He just wanted to touch her, talk to her, make her understand why he didn't tell her.  He inched a little closer, needing to felt the warmth from her body, " Sanem, my love, please I need to explain. I didn't know what to do, it took me so by surprise. I was scared, I still am,....but all I could think about was how much this was going to hurt you. And I couldn't stand it." He whispered, his words coming from his heart. 

She remained silent and didn't move. " Babe, say something to me please. I need you to help me through this." He pleaded. Sanem turned over, looking at him with her eyes full of pain, " No you don't need me to help you,...if you had needed me to help you, you would have told me about this from the beginning. But you didn't, you hide it from me." She blurted out as the tears erupted like a flood. He reached out for her to comfort her, but she pulled away, " Can, do you know how that makes me feel, that you think so little of me that I couldn't or wouldn't be able to handle a family crisis. Do I seem weak to you." She said closing her eyes to keep from looking at this man she thought she knew..

Can was at a loss for words, she had taken it all wrong. " Sanem no I don't think you're weak, I just didn't want this.....this right here. You, crying and upset, scare of what might happen......and me not knowing what to do." He said, raising his voice In desperation. " I Don't Know What To Do Sanem,......and I'm suppose to." He cried out. 

Can scrambled out of bed and headed to the balcony, leaving Sanem there fighting with her own feelings. He stepped out and slide the door shut behind him, wanting to be alone with his own thoughts. The air was crisp and cool for a late spring night, but it felt good to him, his body on fire with from the nights excitement. He knew she was right in everything she said, he should have told her. He was right too when he said he was scared,  he was terrified. He grabbed the railing that surrounded the balcony and gazed out over the back yard, how would he make this right, how would he  make this all go away. 

It was sometime later before he open the glass door and made his way back to bed. She was asleep, or at least she was pretending to be asleep, as he slipped in and under the covers. His body had finally cooled down and he had gotten a chill from the night air so the blanket felt good. He wished he could scoot over next to her, feel that warm skin and smell that calming and tranquillizing smell of hers, but he knew that was out of the question.

He tossed and turned for a while but then his body finally gave way to some much needed sleep. When he opened his eyes the light from the morning sun was shining in though the glass door, blinding him, making him blink his eyes. The bed was empty, as he looked around the room he saw it was empty also. The bathroom light was off and there was no sounds coming from the hallway. Had everyone left, he wondered,  than that fear gripped him. Did she leave him, take all the kids and leave?  His heart was beating so fast he couldn't breath as he stumbled over to the door and swung it open. He stepped out in the hallway ready to call out her name, when he heard the clanging of dishes from downstairs and the sound of the triplets morning chatter. He felt as if he had been pardoned from the firing squad, as he took that deep fulfilling breath and his heart began to beat again.

His head was still jumbled and full of cobwebs so he turned on the shower and stepped in, letting the hot water run over his body. He stood there for some time, as the heat and the steam began to bring him back to life. He knew the problem was still there, that problem that may very well be the destruction of his family and his life, but at least the secret was out, she knew everything now. He finished up and dressed ready to go down stairs, but he wasn't sure what he would find when he got there. They hadn't come to any conclusion or solution the night before, so he didn't know which Sanem he would meet when he got to the kitchen.

The babies squealed with delight as their Dad come in, " Daddy's here, Daddy's here." They announced, clapping their hands. Can smiled as he entered, " Good morning my monkeys, you have woke in a good mood this morning." He said kissing each one of them on top of the head. Sanem didn't look at him which made him uncomfortable, but he gave her a hug from behind and  kiss on her shoulder, just to test the waters. " Good morning Can." She replied. " Let me pour your tea." Her response sounded as normal, but he was still nervous. The talk at the breakfast table was consumed with the bickering chatter of the triplets and Beni, as it always was, so he couldn't tell if she had forgiven him or not.

Luis was the first one to finish and leave the table on his way to school, then Beni ran up stairs to get his bag and be ready to leave with his Dad. The babies had hurried to the family room to watch their favorite learning show, that left Can and Sanem alone in the kitchen while she cleared the table. He was hesitant to ask but he knew he had to, " Bebek, are you ok? Please don't be mad at me. I just tried to protect you, that's all." He spoke softly, waiting for her reaction. She smiled, " I know, and I understand, but you do know that you don't always have to do that. I won't break and fall to pieces at every problem we may encounter." She replied, leaning down to stroke his face with her hand. 

Can breathed a sigh of relief, " I'm sorry my love, but like I said I was scared. So you forgive me?" He asked, grabbing her hand and kissing her fingers. She tilted her head back and forth as if she was trying to decide, " We'll see, but I really need to know everything about this, so I will be at the agency this morning to meet with your Dad." She informed him. He blinked his eyes, " How did you know Dad was coming to the office this morning? This woman never ceased to amaze him, as she gave him a look of defiance, " I read your text." She said so blatant and sure of herself.

" I have already made arrangements for the children. Mom and Dad are coming to spend the day with them, so I won't have to rush." She told him. He felt a sense of calmness, a feeling like they would get through this together, as he smiled at her, " Ok, should I come back to pick you up?"  He asked. She smiled, " No I will come by taxi." She answered confidently.

He nodded, agreeing with all of her plans. Happy that they were now in this together.

He wondered, " Why did I ever doubt her, why did I not see how strong she is."

Can loved her even more at that moment.....if that was possible.