Looking Back

2 - Noah

"What do you mean you don't have it anymore?" Alex says, her voice raised. "We—"

I catch Paige's gaze from across the room and she holds up her phone, pointing outside. I nod, understanding she needs to answer. It's probably Caleb.

She steps outside and my attention is brought to my future wife. She's visibly upset now and I walk over to her. "They don't have the honeysuckle beige anymore."

The what? I shake my head as though I'm disappointed. "What do they have?"

She pulls out a different color but I'm not going to lie. It looks exactly the same to me. She must sense the confusion on my face because she angrily takes it back. "It's not the same color. I need Paige." As if she's just now noticing Paige isn't in the store, her eyes widen. "Wait, where is she?"

"She got a phone call," I tell her and she narrows her eyes. "It's Caleb," I confirm.

I was confused as to why Alex insisted on bringing Paige along today. There's not much that we need to take care of today. At least there wasn't before our florist ran out of honeysuckle beige pot holders. But it doesn't constitute bringing in a third person.

I let Alex handle the beige situation, she's better with colors anyway, and walk outside. Paige had sat at a bench not too far from the store. I watch as she runs a hand through her hair. I notice she does that when she's getting aggravated. I get close enough to where I can hear most of the conversation without her seeing me.

"I'm sorry," she tells him. "I'm just really nervous for tomorrow."

I hear shuffling from her phone. "It's fine, Paige. Look if you really think need another outfit then go and get one. You don't have to run everything by me."

She laughs, but it sounds kind of forced. "I wasn't running anything by you. I was expressing my reservations for my first day back to work tomorrow because I don't know when we're going to talk again and happened to mention I don't know what to wear."

The sadness in her voice makes me want to fly to New York and punch him in the face. I was about to intervene but then Alex caught up with me. "Hey," she says, looping her around my mine. "I had to choose a different color. I can't believe they would do that to us so close to the wedding."

She catches Paige's attention and we go to the car. Alex insists on driving.

Paige's conversation with Caleb did not get any better. Her words fall on deaf ears and when she calls him out on it, Caleb dismisses her. Next to me, Alex is silently fuming and it makes me kind of glad she's hating their conversation as much as I am. When they finally hang up, I sneak a glance at her. Her usually bright blue eyes are filled with sadness and I hate he's the one who put that frown on her.

It's not a secret I'd never been a fan of their relationship. Yes, he's my best friend but he treats her like shit. He doesn't realize he has a good person who, for reasons unbeknownst to me, is willing to wait for him. And has waited for him for 4 years.

Anyways, whatever. She doesn't owe me an explanation.

Alex however, decides to question her anyway. "I honestly don't know what you still see in him, Paige," Alex says. "He was so rude to you just now. And you always hang up looking worse."

One thing I have always noticed about Paige that can be frustrating to the rest of us is, she'll never talk about her relationship with other people. She keeps that much between her and Caleb. I've always respected her for it. I kind of wish Alex were the same way. Address her issues with me before going to her friends. Who knows the things they've heard about me. So it doesn't surprise me when she dismisses the question with a shake of her head.

I turn to look at her and offer her an apologetic smile. "Maybe he's having a long day," I say, knowing that's definitely not the case. Caleb has just always been an asshole. But I could tell she was uncomfortable. Deciding to change the conversation, I turn to Alex. "Did you decide what cake tastes better?"

As she answers my question, I focus my gaze on the road. I don't know how I went from having a mega crush on Paige all through high school then being engaged to her sister. For a while I could have sworn there was something between us. When he chose to pack up and move across the country, and when she didn't follow him, I figured we'd finally have our own chance. But they decided to try long distance. And have been doing so since.

Alex and I met the summer before college. And she was honestly a breath of fresh air. Anything to take my mind off Paige. Then as it became clear Paige and Caleb weren't ending things anytime soon, I realized Alex deserved better. And five years later, we're engaged to be married. It seems like so much time has passed and also, none at all. I don't still have feelings for Paige. And I don't regret meeting Alex. But I do sometimes wish things had worked out the way I wanted them to at the time. Just to see if it would have worked out.

After the vendor, we dropped off Paige at home so she could get ready for her first day of work tomorrow. Alex removes a hand from the steering wheel and takes my hand in hers. "I'm so happy," she tells me.

I look over at her and see her genuine smile. She doesn't look like Paige at all, despite them being sisters. Where Paige has shoulder length, chestnut hair, Alex has jet black straight hair that goes down to her midsection. Her eyes are brown unlike her sister's blue eyes. Even down to their personalities. Alex is much more outspoken and extroverted.

I give her hand a squeeze. "I'm happy too."

The rest of the ride is silent.

~*~

As I'm sitting on the couch watching a basketball game, my phone vibrates.

Caleb:  I'll be in town next week for Paige's birthday. Wanna meet up?

Noah:  Yeah, man. See you then.

Caleb:  I've been thinking about asking her to move in with me

He didn't ask me what I think and I'm glad. It's not my place. But the thought of him closer to Paige makes me kind of angry. Her life is here. Why not just move back?

Alex walks down the stairs with one of my T-shirts on and it takes my mind off my best friend's relationship. She has a strange look on her face as she sits down next to me.

"Noah," she says quietly, biting her lip.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

She takes a deep breath, making me nervous. "I'm two weeks late, Noah."

Her words take a moment for me to register. Two weeks late for what? Before I can reply, she notices my phone, still unlocked in my hands. "He wants to ask her to move in? Absolutely not." She's shaking her head and for a second I'm forgetting what she just told me. But then I place my hand on her shoulder and she stops. "Two weeks late? Are you sure?"

"We didn't plan for this," she says, looking up at me.

I place my hand against her cheek. "We didn't plan for this, but it'll be okay." She looks like she wants to believe me. "It's sooner than we would've liked but we will make this work."

She bites her lip and focuses her gaze away from me. She almost looks... regretful. I try not to think what this would mean for us. Our first year as a married couple, raising an infant.

"Let's go out tonight," I suggest, in hopes of bringing up her spirits.

She brings her head to the side. "What? We just got home."

"Let's get ice cream."

Her lips curve up in a smile and I can tell she's feeling a little relieved. "Okay." She stands. "Let me get dressed."

Authors Note:

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