Always and Forever

Prologue

I hate you, to the moon and back
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Aoife Lawrence didn't cry when her father died.

It may sound cruel, and cold-hearted. But staring down at the casket with dirt being shovelled over the top did nothing for her. No tears rolled down her cheeks, and no sadness or heartbreak made itself known. She didn't even feel numb.

When flowers were thrown over the wood and people sobbed and reassured each other and herself that he was in a better place, Aoife didn't flinch. In fact, she hoped he wasn't in a 'better place', not after...

She remembered the day her mother Isobel told her the news. Even as a 5-year-old, Aoife knew what her mother meant when she said her daddy wasn't coming home.

She understood why she was hugged tightly and had her hair stroked back with sweet words whispered into her ear. Promises that they would be okay and that she wouldn't be left alone were said over and over.

Even as a five-year-old, she knew what had happened and she knew what she felt wasn't heartbreak or sadness. Aoife felt a lightness in her chest, she had felt her shoulders drop and her eyes close.

"Daddy loves us very much... but he can't come home baby... He's not coming back." And gosh the little girl had never felt so much relief at her mothers' words. She had curled into her mothers embrace finally feeling that freedom she hadn't felt before, it was the beginning of something new, something different.

With her father gone, she knew her mother would slowly forget about the rules he made.

Aoife was glad he was gone, because it meant she could start her life.

As a child, we want to explore the unknown, to understand what they are and how they can affect us. Whether or not they would belong to us or become something we stay away from. Learning is part of a human's development, making mistakes, getting hurt and finding out for ourselves what we did and didn't like.

The children living in Hayes Bromley lived in a time when crime existed, but so did the safety of knowing their family was there to protect them.

Growing up in neighbourhoods with other children meant that parents would band together to protect the little ones from the dangers of the world whilst also letting them discover it themselves.

The children were free to figure out themselves and the world. But not every child was as lucky. Not every child was given the opportunity to leave the comfort of their home to find something new.

When Aoife was younger, she wasn't allowed to do the things kids usually did. She wasn't allowed to play sports without being watched. She wasn't allowed to take up knitting or certain forms of art that included anything sharp. She wasn't allowed to join dance clubs which could overwork her.

Different she was, as her parents said, as her father said. They said she wasn't supposed to be like normal kids.

That she was... special.

But Aoife didn't have superpowers. She couldn't suddenly fly or read minds. She wasn't special like a superhero or able to do things that were superhuman.

She couldn't understand why her mother would ignore all questions about what lay beyond their front door.

She was confused when her father would make her say goodbye to him in front of a closed door and made her turn away as he left.

She became frustrated when her parents would yell at her for peeking behind the blacked-out curtains.

After a while she began to stop the millions of questions, she would stop greeting and saying goodbye to her father, she wouldn't go anywhere near the windows to the outside world.