Let It Chase Me (1)

I've Been Thinking

"Awesome! Let's head back" I said with a smile, hiding my hurt from him. 

I had no reason to be hurt. I knew about Beck. I've always known. Why would I be hurt by him having a girlfriend I always knew about? I SHOULDN-

"Ems? You okay?" Eddie pulled me out of my own thoughts. 

"Huh? Oh! Yeah I'm fine, why?" I asked trying up cover up.

"You just seemed a little spaced out" he answered me.

"Yeah I'm just a little tired from being in the water all day. Really does a number on me." I said to him, fake smiling.

He looked me in the eyes for a moment and then smiled. "Okay good. Let's head back" he said to me before turning to collect the rest of our things.

I held my towel in my hands and started heading towards the truck. I didn't look back to see if he was following. I wanted to be away from him at the moment. I felt stupid and ashamed. Thank god I didn't say anything before he mentioned Beck. 

I climbed into the passenger seat of the truck and began searching through the tapes for something to listen to. We didn't live far from the ocean, but I didn't want to sit in silence and I really didn't want to talk to him at the moment. I just wanted to be alone. 

I settled on a The Who tape as soon as Eddie got into the truck. He started it up and I started up the music. He began to sing along and looked over at me expectantly, but I just looked forward and stayed quiet. I could see his slight frown out of the corner of my eye as he turned back to the road and sang quieter.

We arrived at the apartment shortly after. Eddie turned the truck off and began to turn to me. Before he could say anything, I opened the truck door and went to the front door. I went to unlock it but when I turned the handle slightly, I realized it was already unlocked. Beck was already here. Great.

I sighed deeply and then opened the door. Beck was sitting on the couch and turned to me as I walked in. I smiled down at her when our eyes met, even though I was screaming inside. 

"Oh my gosh, hi Emmy!" she smiled excitedly at me. 

"Hey Beck! How have you been?" I smiled back at her, deciding I didn't need to be rude just because of my bad mood.

"Oh I've been wonderful! Will you sit with me and watch the rest of this program? I think you would like it a lot! It's about music and how it's everchanging. I wonder what will happen with music next. Maybe Eddie will be part of the new changing music scene!" she seemed to ramble, having so much to say but also nothing at the same time. As she was talking, Eddie walked inside.

"I actually am exhausted from today. But I'll definitely take you up on that offer later!" I lied through my teeth to her. 

Before anyone could protest, I made my way to my bedroom. As soon as I was inside, I went to my wardrobe to find something to change into. I decided for a night like this, sweatpants and a hoodie would do just fine. I grabbed what I needed and headed to the bathroom. When walking down the hallway, I heard Beck and Eddie giggling with each other. I rolled my eyes and closed the bathroom door. 

When the water was hot enough to steam the room, I got into the shower. Washing the salt out of my hair was crucial. If I didn't do it as soon as I got home, my hair would be gross the rest of the week. As the water cascaded down my hair and back, my mind began to wonder. I began to think about Eddie on the waves. The way his arms look when he pushes himself up. The way he always looks to me for reassurance. The way he smiles at me when he catches my eyes...

His fingers danced on my naked body placed in front of him. He hovered over me for a moment, looking at me in the eyes. 

"Your eyes hold the ocean" I whispered up at him. He smiled at me before leaning closer. Our lips just centimeters from each other. "Eddie, please" I whispered even quieter than before. 

As soon as I said that, he crashed his lips to mine. I hungrily kissed him back, pulling him as close as I possibly could. His hands began to move down my body, teasing my breasts and then my stomach. I gasped when his calloused fingers reached where I wanted him most in that moment. He pulled away from my lips for a second looking me in the eyes. 

"Is all this for me?" he asked as a finger teased me. "Yes, it always has been" I answered him without any hesitation. 

"Say my name" he demanded at me.

"Eds.." I gasped quietly as he entered a finger.

He stopped all movement and looked me in the eyes again. "I said say my name, not whisper it" he said. Before I had time to respond, he added more fingers and began thrusting them.

"Eddie!" I yelled in response.

He looked at me with a smile that soon disappeared. "Ems?" he asked.

"What? What's wrong?" I responded, panicking slightly. 

"I don't know, you're the one who called for me" he answered.

"What?" I asked once more.

"I said you're the one who called for me. Ems? Are you sure you're okay? Did you need something?" he yelled through the door. 

In that moment I realized I was daydreaming in the shower. When I came back to reality, I found myself masturbating to the thought of Eddie. Oh fuck, did I yell his name out loud?

"Yes! I'm okay! I just forgot a towel! Can you get me one from the closet and just throw it in here?" I yelled back at him, quickly coming up with the lie. 

"Oh! Yeah for sure!" he answered me.

A few moments later the door slightly opened and towel was thrown in. 

"Thanks, Eds!" I yelled towards the door before shutting off the water. 

"Anytime, Ems!" he yelled before walking back to the living room. 

As I dried myself off, I looked at myself in the mirror. I studied my face and body. I thought about what just happened. He had to have known what was happening, right? He's not THAT oblivious.

"I need to get this under control." I whispered to myself before getting dressed and leaving the bathroom.