Let It Chase Me (1)

We're Even

I woke up the next morning still in Chris' arms. I smiled to myself at feeling his warmness. I looked up at him and admired his face. 

"Are you going to stare at me all day?" he asked. I jumped slightly at his sudden words and I turned away blushing. 

"I'm sorry, you're just very handsome" I said to him, playing with his beard.

He smiled at me and sat up on his elbows. "Well, you're not so bad yourself M&M" he chuckled as he leaned down to kiss me. I smiled against his lips. 

"I'm going to go to Kim's today to talk over some Soundgarden stuff. Will you be alright here with Eddie for a while?"

"Chris, I lived with him for years. Of course I'll be okay with him" I said smiling at him. He gave me a soft smile and got up to get dressed. 

"Okay M&M, I lo- uh, I'll see you later" he said quickly before walking out of the room. I laid back in the bed and thought about him. 

His chiseled chest, his long curly hair, his bright eyes, his biceps pushing him up on his board-

Shit, it was Eddie. I was still thinking of Eddie.

I shook the thought out of my head and got up to get a shower. I couldn't still be thinking of him. I grabbed clothes and walked towards the bathroom. 

I opened the bathroom door to be met with steam. Before I could even form a thought, my eyes grew wide. 

"Oh my god! Shit! I'm sorry, Eds! I didn't know anyone was in here!" I quickly slammed the door shut. I didn't see much, but god I saw enough.

His wet hair cascaded down his back. The way his back muscles flexed as he tensed up. His perfectly round butt...

Stop it, Emelia! Get him out of your head! Now!

I hid in Chris' room for a little while. I didn't know how to show my face after something like that. How embarrassing! First me screaming Chris' name last night, and now catching Eddie naked. I could die from embarrassment. 

I eventually gathered enough courage to go out into the living room. I had changed into my clothes without the shower, I didn't want to go in there just yet. I was met with Eddie watching tv on the couch. He looked up and gave me a gentle smile.

"Don't start, Vedder. Just pretend that never happened" I said sternly as I sat next to him. 

"Well," he started, "can I ask why you came to the bathroom naked?"

I looked at him with wide eyes and then it hit me. I was so used to it only being me and Chris, I had walked to the bathroom just as I had slept, completely fucking naked. 

"Huh," I said looking away from him. "Well I guess that makes us even then" I joked.

He laughed at me saying that and nodded his head. We sat together watching tv for a while, neither of us saying anything. Suddenly Eddie stood up from the couch. 

"I almost forgot! I have something for you. I mean I didn't bring it for you because obviously I didn't know you would be here, but I never leave home without it. And I think you should have it."

He quickly went to the room he was staying with and walked out with a book in his hands. He smiled as he sat on the couch and handed it to me.

"I thought since you're in a band now of your own, you would want some of your old lyrics. They might make some pretty good songs."

I looked down at the book in my hands and dropped my jaw. "This is my old notebook" I said in disbelief. 

"Yeah, well you left it behind. I thought maybe it was an accident or something. I just wanted you to have it again."

"Wait, you never leave home without it?" I asked looking up at him. 

He looked nervous when I said that. "I- uh, it just makes me feel better on my down days. I mean why wouldn't it. In it you wrote such rich lyrics about me. I know they're about me, but it's okay. It just reminds me that there is someone who loves me the same and just as much as I love them" he finished looking me in the eyes.

"Eds, wha-"

"I love you, Emelia. Not just as a friend. Not just as a best friend. I love you."

"No no no, you love Beck, not me, Eddie. Look, I know you're confused with everything going on. But you don't love me" I said to sooth him. I know he needed someone to be there for him.

"I'm sorry, maybe I am just confused. But I do love you, Ems." 

I smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "I love you too, Eds."