ALPHA

Memories

Trigger warning:
You're gonna get some of Ghost's back story. There are mentions of physical abuse and rape.

I sit with the betas at a small cafe drinking a plain iced coffee.

"So," Steve says, tone turning serious, "am I allowed to ask about the scars?"

I look down at my arms, running a finger along the raised skin.

"The pack I was in was.... terrible, to say the least," I start, not looking at the betas, "my dad was an alpha and my mom was his omega. She wasn't ready. She was sixteen when he found her, just after her presentation, and he wanted his pups. He... forced her. She had two of my brothers nine months later, both alphas. She thought he would be happy with them and let her be, but he wasn't. He wanted more. So he waited until she recovered from the twins and did it again. They had no luck for a while, which pissed him off, so he would beat her everytime she didn't get pregnant. She lost two others from all of the stress but finally had my other brother a few months after she turned eighteen. He still wasn't satisfied. When she finally had me at nineteen, he was livid. He wanted another alpha but he got the complete opposite. He would beat me and my mom for the smallest of things. When I turned fourteen.... he figured if he had to have an omega, he would make use of it. Betas and alphas would pay him to do whatever they wanted to me. They would beat me, burn me.... rape me until they were satisfied then dump me on my dad's front porch. I got my first heat when I was fifteen and suddenly all the alphas wanted me. One night, a few days before my presentation, the alpha of the pack showed up at our house. I over heard his conversation with my dad. He wanted to buy me and my dad was going to let him. The alpha already had a half a dozen omegas that he had claimed, I didn't want to be another addiction to his collection."

"So you ran away?" Will asks.

"Yes, but it wasn't the first thing I did," I feel the shame and guilt wash over me again.

"What did you do first?"

Blood.
So much blood.

Shaking hands.
Screams.

I shake away the memories.

"That's not something I wanna talk about," I stare at my drink.

"Okay, you don't have to," Steve lays his hand on mine, "but, maybe Alpha James is someone you can talk about it to."

My eyes snap to him and I growl.

He snatches his hand away.

"I'm a fucking idiot," I huff as I get up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Caleb asks quickly.

"You were just trying to butter me up," I hiss as I glare at them, "I should have fucking known."

I march for the door.

"Butter you up? What are you talking about?" Steve says following me out.

"You were just trying to get me to go to your fucking alpha," I turn to him sharply.

"No! Promise! We were just trying to be nice!" He defends himself, "I suggested you talk to him cuz he has trauma, too, and maybe he would understand."

"I don't care about his damn trauma," I tell, "I've gone through hell and back, I'm not about to roll over like some bitch to an alpha that thinks he owns me! You can go tell your alpha to fuck himself!" I pull my gun out and aim it at him, "all of you can go fuck yourselves!"

My hands start to shake.

Blood.
So much blood.

Woodsmoke and gunpowder.

Breathing becomes difficult.

Fear in their eyes.
Innocent pups.

Black starts to dance at the edges of my vision and the gun falls from my hand.

"Ghost!"

When did I fall?

I'm pulled to someone's chest.

"What did you say to her?!"

"I suggested that she could talk to you about something and she started freaking out."

Woodsmoke.

No.

Gunpowder.

No no no no no!

I start to blindly push him away.

"Ome- Ghost! Stop!" He pulls me back to him, "you're gonna hurt yourself! You need to breathe! Please! You need to breathe!"

I stop fighting, my breath and body still shaking.

"Shh, I got you," I can feel him rocking me gently, his aura concerned, "I got you."

I'm not sure how much time passed but her stays, on the ground, rocking me softly, reassuring me that I'm safe and that he's there.

"Let's get you back to the Omega house."

Bucky's POV
I lift her shaking body, pulling her close to my chest.

"Get her gun, put it in her bag and follow me," I look at Steve and he quickly nods, doing as I say.

I start for the House, making sure to keep her safe in my arms, and the betas follow me.

Just as the house comes into view, I see Natasha and her betas going in.

Clint see me and stops dead in his tracks then bolts towards me.

"What happened? What did you do?" He asks frantically, taking her out of my arms.

"I didn't do anything, she had a panic attack," I say as Steve hands her bag to Tony as he comes over, too.

I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear and look at her still pale face. To my surprise, she grabs my hand and keeps it where it is.

I look to Clint who looks just as surprised as me, then I smell it.
Her heat is starting to rise again.

My heart starts to pound in my chest.

I want to claim her, to call her mine.

But she isn't ready.

"Get her inside," I choke, pulling my hand away before I do something stupid, "hurry."

Clint gets the message and quickly goes back to the house, Tony and Natasha right after him, and the door is shut and bolted.

I can smell her heat grow more and groan as I rub my face, trying to distract myself.

"Alpha...?" Will asks softly, "why didn't you... Why did you just let her go?"

"She's not ready," I sigh, "I'm not gonna make her do something she's not ready for."