A Tameranean's Raven

As It Should Be

Christmas was upon Jump City. Lights glittered in windows creating a plethora of brilliant colors all of which mesmerized the passing public. The tower itself was covered in lights all of them a courtesy of Starfire. She absolutely loved earth holidays and the festivities that came with them. Cyborg helped her put up as many decorations as possible including a large Christmas tree in the main room.
Starfire took the opportunity to decorate it with ornaments and lights until it was to her liking. She found joy in the little things like Christmas carols, snow, and especially the food. Everything was perfect and as it should be. At least for the most part. Raven's room was devoid of decoration except for a tiny little tree Starfire had placed in the corner. She really did hope that Raven came back for Christmas at least to make sure the half demon was okay. On the other hand she was afraid. Things had grown complicated with time and she wasn't sure how to explain everything should Raven magically reappear.
Of course, a reunion would be inevitable but Starfire wasn't sure what to make of her feelings or their relationship anymore. It had been six months since she'd actually interacted with Raven and a lot had changed. She'd cried and grieved and met new people. She couldn't remain alone forever hiding out in her room. It wasn't good for her sanity.
If anything, it was Robin's fault for forcing her to get out and about again. If things went wrong she could blame him even if it was unfair. Then again, maybe she was getting ahead of herself. It wasn't Christmas yet. There was still time to sort things out. Or so she thought.
Raven appeared at the doorstep of the tower dressed for winter and half hidden behind a scarf. She hadn't expected the place to be so bright and joyous, but she also knew Starfire's love for the holidays. With a hesitant sigh, Raven entered the building. Her chest ached with anxiety and her mind ran at an uncanny speed. Things could go horribly wrong. Six months meant a lot could change.
When the elevator stopped and the doors eased open, she took a careful step into the Titan's main room. She was met with wide eyed stares from the boys who sat on the couch. Then, slowly, a grin stretched across each of their faces.
"You're home!" Beast Boy cried, diving over the back of the sofa to embrace his friend. Under normal circumstances Raven would have resisted the hug but she welcomed it this time.
"I figured it was about time I came back," Raven smiled thinly.
"You sorted everything out?" Robin asked, peeling Beast Boy off of Raven to give her a hug of his own.
"Yeah, I'm better than ever. It was...difficult but everything's as it should be," Raven explained, moving to embrace Cyborg next.
"You're not going to believe how much has changed!" Beast Boy laughed. "Robin isn't Robin anymore. Batman gave him some sort of promotion. He's Nightwing now!"
"Really?" Raven smiled, watching Robin blush.
"You can call me Dick if you'd like. I know I wasn't huge on using my birth name but it's easier than Nightwing," Dick explained, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
"I like it," Raven promised. "Anything else?"
"I'm Animal Man," Beast Boy boasted. "Actually, I'm still seeing if it sticks. I'm okay if you call me Gar though since I'm having a name crisis."
"It happens to the best of us," Cyborg promised, patting his friend on the shoulder. "As for me? I got nothing new. Same old half man half machine."
"It's really good to see you guys. I've missed this place." Raven couldn't help but take in the room like it was her first day at the tower all over again. A sense of nostalgia washed over her for a moment but she pushed it aside. There was time for that later.
"Hey, we haven't had dinner yet. Wanna go pick up some pizza? You can pick the place," Gar offered, moving back to the couch to continue his video game.
"Uh, sure. Isn't there supposed to be a blizzard though?" Raven asked, eyeing dark clouds through the window. "Also, where's Star? Is she out decorating or something?"
"About that," Dick winced, sharing a look with Cyborg. "I think she's sort of taken an interest in this guy named Allen. He took her out to dinner. He's trying to shoot his shot so to speak."
"Oh," Raven nodded. "Okay. Does he know about the tower and-?"
"Yeah, he's been here once before," Gar noted. "You're not gonna go hunt him down or something are you?"
"No, of course not," Raven laughed. "As long as she's happy I'm happy. I didn't expect things to stay the same since I've been gone. Time has a tendency to change things. I'd be an idiot if I thought otherwise."
"Well, if you're gonna go get some pizza you should probably head out. You have about an hour before the blizzard is supposed to hit," Gar reminded, unpausing his game.
"Right." Raven lingered a moment, taking in her old home once more before venturing back to the elevator. She got the impression the boys knew she needed to process everything that had changed. While it was relatively simple changes that occurred, it was still rather overwhelming.
Tucking her scarf tighter about her neck, Raven lowered her head and ventured into the city. By the way the clouds were moving she got a sneaking suspicion that the storm was going to hit sooner rather than later. Stepping into a jog, she proceeded to race against the clock.
Things went smooth for some time, but as the temperature dropped people began to flee back to their own homes and the sidewalks became crowded. Rounding a corner, she slipped on a frozen puddle toppling head first into a stranger. They both landed hard on the ground as snow began to fall.
"Shit! I am so sorry, I didn't mean to knock you over." Wincing, Raven got to her feet and pulled the stranger up with her. She took a moment to awkwardly straighten his coat all the while apologizing.
"Raven?" A familiar voice immediately drew the half demon's attention. She was more than surprised to see Starfire regarding her and the stranger with a look of surprise.
"Uh, surprise? You must be Allen then. Nice to meet you. Sorry for knocking you over again," Raven worried, extending her hand. The dark haired boy regarded her for a moment before accepting her hand and giving it a firm shake. "Anyways, I have to go. Have fun and get home safe. Cy said a blizzard is hitting within the hour!"
Already Raven was off at a run again. She couldn't help but scold herself for being so awkward but she hadn't exactly planned on running into the Allen guy. She must have looked like a total jerk to Starfire. Shaking her head, she decided it was best to focus on the task at hand or she'd chicken out of going back home.
— — —
"Guess whose back?" Gar asked excitedly, his head swiveling as Starfire and Allen ventured into the tower. "It's Raven! She's getting pizza. You guys can join us if you want."
"I know," Starfire replied.
"She ran into us. Literally," Allen snorted, rubbing at his bruised elbow.
"Oh, well, the offer still stands. I wanna grill her about the demon stuff," Gar smiled.
"Don't pressure her into it," Dick frowned, "she just got back."
"Yeah yeah," Gar sighed, waving away the comment. He quickly focused back on his video game. The tower fell silent for the most part as everyone impatiently waited for Raven to return. When she did, she was covered from head to toe in snow.
"You said I had an hour!" She hissed, glaring at Gar and Cyborg as they tried not to laugh when the elevator doors closed slowly behind her.
"I don't control the weather!" Gar protested, moving to collect the pizza box and make his way to the table.
"Stand still, I got you." Cyborg stood in front of Raven and without much warning blasted her with a jet of warm air that completely cleared her of snow. "Ta-da!"
"Thanks." With a small shiver, Raven followed him to the table and took her usual seat. Truthfully she wasn't that hungry but she'd braved a blizzard for the damn pizza she might as well eat some of it.
"Gar said you're a...demon?" Allen asked hesitantly, his fingers drumming nervously on the table.
"Half." Raven and Starfire corrected at the same time.
"Right, so what does that mean exactly?" He asked.
"It's a really long explanation," Raven sighed, not exactly eager to tell her entire life story to a stranger.
"It can't be too bad. She's an alien and he's a cyborg." Allen gestured pointedly at Starfire and Cyborg.
Raven sat quietly for a moment. Maybe this guy would understand her, but why did she need to tell him in the first place? It wasn't exactly his business unless he was just trying to start a conversation. If that was the case, there were better ways to do it.
"I don't really feel like talking about it," Raven admitted. "I don't doubt that you'd understand, it just brings a lot of bad memories and feelings with it."
"Is that why you left?" Allen questioned.
Raven would have laughed at Starfire's mortified expression if she wasn't thoroughly irritated with the man sitting across from her.
"More or less," Raven shrugged, now entirely uninterested in her meal.
"Oh, well Kori said-."
"I told you not to call me that," Starfire sighed, looking rather displeased by the entire situation.
"Sorry. My point is, can you actually turn into that demon thing? Like, when you want to or does it just sort of happen?" Allen continued, leaning forward eagerly.
"You want to see?" Raven asked, a bit of a mischievous glint to her eye. This seemed to pique everyone's interest. Even Starfire sat up a bit straighter at this. With a small smile, Raven closed her eyes. After a few moments her teeth cracked and shifted along with her bones. Horns sprouted from her head and her skin took on it's tough red hue and texture.
"Holy shit!" Allen squeaked, instinctively moving away from the table.
"That's so cool!" Gar grinned, his smile so wide it nearly met his ears. "Change back! Change back!"
With a shrug, Raven did as told and quickly returned to herself. "It gets easier the more I do it."
"That's amazing Raven. I'm proud of you!" Dick laughed genuinely pleased with this discovery. "How did you do it? How did you get things sorted out?"
"I went back to my roots. I found some of the monks who raised me. It took a lot of effort but after a while I figured out how to satisfy both parts of me. It's still a work in progress but I'm not a danger anymore." Raven promised. "Now, Blackfire can get off of my ass."
"Blackfire?" Starfire frowned. It had been a while since her sister left the tower, effectively evading prison and fleeing back to Tameran. No one tried to stop her. After all, she had helped them thwart Raven's brothers. It was sort of a mutual understanding. "When did you talk to my sister?"
"You didn't know she talked to me?" Raven asked.
"I have no idea what's going on," Allen whispered.
"Allen, go home please," Starfire sighed, sparing the boy a mildly bored look.
"Right. Yeah, I'll keep in touch." With that, Allen stood and left the tower behind.
"Date didn't go well?" Cyborg asked.
"I did not realize it was a date until he tried to kiss me," Starfire pouted. "I must get better at noticing who is a friend and who is not."
"Sheesh, that's rough," Gar shook his head in dismay. "Either way, you and Raven have some catching up to do. I on the other hand, have a high score to beat."
The guys took their queue to leave, and soon it was only Raven and Starfire at the table. Silence settled between them for a moment. Neither one really knew where to start.
"What did my sister say to you?" Starfire asked at last. Raven did her best to recall the interaction and relayed it as honestly as possible. She watched as Starfire's face scrunched up in a quiet rage. "She made you leave."
"She was right," Raven insisted, "I wasn't safe to be around. She was looking out for you."
"It was not her place to do so," Starfire argued, her eyes smarting.
"Star, look, you know why I had to leave. I know that it hurt you and I know things have changed but don't be mad at her for what happened." Raven's voice was soft and pleading in nature. It was enough to calm the angered Tameranean. "I'm glad you're meeting new people. It was good to see you-"
"I was only meeting new people as a distraction," Starfire admitted. "Robin wanted me to make other friends so that is what I tried to do. The boys thought it would fix things but I really just missed you. It was hard not to think about you. For a moment I tricked myself into believing I liked Allen. I was only kidding myself."
"If you really did like him I wouldn't have intervened. If he made you happy then that's all that matters to me." For a moment, Raven thought about taking Starfire's hand in her own, but she refrained from the action.
"Raven, I am glad you are home. I am. But things are strange now. It is not that I do not love you. I will always love you, but we cannot be exactly as we were," Starfire worried, studying Raven's face. She was terrified of making the half demon leave again. If Raven vanished once more she wouldn't be able to take it.
"I know," Raven smiled sadly, "but I'm willing to start over. At whatever pace you want. You make the rules and I'll follow them. Just talk to me alright? I can't fix what I messed up if I don't know what I ruined in the first place. Deal?"
"Deal," Starfire nodded, her worry replaced with a gentle smile. "You know, you did look rather cute all covered in snow."
"I couldn't feel my face," Raven admitted, earning a laugh from the Tameranean. It was a beautiful sound. One Raven didn't realize she missed so much.
"I am happy you are safe and comfortable again," Starfire sighed, carefully taking Raven's hand in her own. "I spent many nights worrying-"
"You don't have to worry anymore," Raven promised, giving the other girl's hand a gentle squeeze.
Once more silence fell over them but this time it was a comfortable silence. Raven took the opportunity to enjoy Starfire's company before regretfully retiring for the night. She was nearly asleep when a gentle knock sounded on her door and Starfire peered inside.
"May I come in?" She asked, her voice hardly above a whisper.
"Yeah, what's up?" Raven asked, sitting up in bed and flicking on a light. Starfire made her way to the bed with a cardboard box in her hands. She sat beside the half demon and looked at her expectantly.
"Would you like these back?"
Raven regarded the box and its objects remembering what each one was. She hadn't expected Starfire to keep them. "No, they're for you. That's why I left them. I didn't want you thinking I forgot about you. Do you not want them?"
"Oh no, I really like them," Starfire admitted bashfully. "I was not sure if you desired them too."
"No, they're all yours. Do with them what you will," Raven laughed.
"Thank you." Starfire smiled happily, getting up from the bed. She was about to leave when she turned and pressed a very light kiss to the half demon's cheek. "Goodnight Raven."
"Goodnight Star."
"I really like the Pegasus," Starfire noted, sparing Raven one more glance before closing the door behind her. With a small chuckle, Raven turned off her light once more.
She was amazed by how much had changed and yet, so much had stayed the same. It was comforting to know that there would always be constants in life like Starfire's joy. It brought a smile to her face along with the idea that Allen, the guy who was far too curious, was stuck outside somewhere in the snow.
With a sigh, the half demon fell asleep comfortable, warm, and happy. She was finally who she wanted to be. No longer a danger. Just Raven. Exactly as it should be.