A Tameranean's Raven

Damian Wayne (Part Two)

Rain hammered against the tower in a torrential down poor as Dick talked frantically with his father. Damian had vanished the previous night. After making it safely to the Manor and being sent to bed, Damian fled into the night for the last time. There was no trace of him and despite Tim and Jason's best efforts, Damian remained unfound,
Worry gripped the eldest sibling as a million different possibilities flooded his mind. What if Damian had gotten hurt? What if he was lost? What if he'd been taken? It wouldn't be the first time a Robin was used against their father and it certainly wouldn't be the last.
"How'd he even leave the tower? You were out here!" Dick protested, slamming his phone onto the table and running a hand through his hair. "You had to have seen him."
"I did," Raven admitted, sensing a storm coming. Starfire felt it too, eyes darting nervously between Dick and Raven. "I talked to him. He wanted to leave."
"And you let him go?" Dick frowned, eyes smarting.
"I wasn't going to stop him. He said he was going home. I told him that I wouldn't stop you from finding him either. I'm not going to lock a child in a tower to teach him a lesson if he hates it here," Raven explained, offering up an indifferent shrug.
"He's missing now. No one knows where he is because you let him go," Dick argued.
"Did he make it home?" Raven asked, arching a brow.
"Yes, but-"
"Then I did nothing wrong," Raven shrugged.
"Nothing wrong?" Dick scoffed, shaking his head. "You know what? Whatever, I'm going to find my little brother. You can either come with me, or you can stay put."
"I'll look for him," Raven decided. "But I won't drag him back here if I find him."
"Then don't even bother," Dick sighed, pulling on a coat and making his way to the elevator. "If he's not back by tonight-"
"Don't make threats you don't intend to keep," Raven warned, knowing full well that Dick often put his foot in his mouth when emotional. As the elevator doors eased shut, Raven turned to the windows. Damian was still in the city, she could feel it. It wasn't hard to sense the angry aura roiling from a surprisingly small kid.
"You know where he is don't you?" Starfire asked, moving to stand beside her partner. "Why haven't you gone to him?"
"He doesn't want me around. He'll turn away any offered help," Raven explained, shaking her head in dismay. "He's too prideful."
"Hmm, sounds like someone else I know," Starfire mused, taking Raven's hand in her own. "You know, Raven, it is one thing to want someone. It is another to need them. Sometimes we do not want the things we need no matter how painful it is to ignore the need."
"And what does Damian need?" Raven asked, feeling defeated about the entire situation.
"A friend," Starfire replied. "He has family, Raven. He does not have friends. You told me he was alone. There is nothing that can make you feel more alone than your own family. You know this."
And Raven did.  Raven had family. Plenty of it. Despite this, she was alone. Ostracized by choice and necessity. Family was a painful reminder that shared blood meant nothing in a fractured home. Family was something everyone had. Very rarely was it good and very rarely did you feel like you belonged.
"If I go to him, and he turns away from me, then what?" Raven asked, her hold tightening on the Tamaranean's hand.
"Then you show him your own pain. As sad as it is, pain brings people closer together than happiness. It is how my family repaired itself," Starfire reminded, pressing a light kiss to the top of Raven's head. "It is how you repaired yourself. How you stood against your father and your brothers and your past."
"I'm tired of pain, Star," Raven sighed, closing her eyes as she settled her head on the Tamaranean's shoulder.
"I know," Starfire hummed. "I am sorry."
"Just promise me that when I get back you'll keep Dick from scolding me," Raven pleaded, straightening and taking a step back from Starfire.
"I'll do what I can," Starfire promised. "Be gentle."
"Always am," Raven teased, offering up a half smile before phasing through the floor.
— — —
Damian stood in the poring rain feeling more numb than he ever had before. He'd heard the calls of his siblings. Heard their distressed voices and avoided them. He'd crept through the dark like a shadow avoiding anything and everyone with only one mission in mind. A mission that never came true.
Betrayal was an understatement. Hurt was an understatement. Numb was an understatement. Shivering from head to toe, the thin boy stared intently at the roiling waters below. Jump City didn't have many cliffs. In fact, he only knew of one. It wasn't far from the tower. The place he'd run from. Now, it sparkled in the dim light and behind a sheen of rain. From a distance it was quite beautiful.
"They're looking for you," sounded a familiar rasp. A rasp that, at times, reminded Damian of his father's voice.  He didn't have to look to know who it was, but that didn't mean he welcomed the company.
"I guess you're here to drag me back then," Damian frowned, eyes still focused on the turning waves below.
"No, Damian, I'm not," Raven sighed, moving to stand beside the troubled boy.
"Why not? That's your job, right? Everyone's supposed to do what Dick says. Dick's always in charge," Damian sneered, a tear sliding down his cheek. He prayed the rain masked it.
"Dick has a good heart, but his execution isn't the best. Forcing you to stay wasn't right on his part or your father's," Raven remarked, aware of the rain soaking her clothes. She contemplated a forcefield only to decide against it. Using her powers may close Damian off. "Besides, he doesn't understand people like us."
"Us?" Damian snorted, tilting his head and eyeing Raven wearily. "You know nothing about me."
"I know she's not coming to get you and I know that hurts," Raven admitted, her gaze softening as she regarded Damian. He looked like a lost dog wanting affection and being terrified of it at the same time.
"She's just running late," Damian argued, searching the ocean yet again for some sign that his mother was on the way.
"Damian," Raven warned, drawing the boy's full attention. "She's not coming for you."
The words felt harsh despite Raven's soft voice. She watched as Damian's eyes widened and his gaze fell away. Saw the tremble in his shoulders as he fought back a sob. His small fists clenched and a muscle in his jaw flexed.
"You're lying. You're just trying to get me to go back," Damian muttered, gritting his teeth.
"You and I both know that's not true, Damian. Friends don't lie to each-other," Raven reminded, blinking rain from her eyes as a shiver ran through her.
"Friends? We aren't friends. I don't have friends!" Damian yelled, his sorrow turning to anger as he faced the half demon. "People like me don't have friends."
"Because you don't deserve them?" Raven asked. "Or because you don't know how to be a friend? Because it scares you and you feel like you'll only be a disappointment to other people."
The line of questions caught Damian off guard and his rage disappeared as quickly as it'd set on. Blinking rapidly, he struggled to come up with some sort of response. Something, anything, to throw back at the insufferable girl.
"You used your powers to make those deductions," Damian glared.
"No, Damian, I used my experience to make those deductions," Raven smiled thinly. "I know what it's like to feel like you don't fit in. To be from two very different worlds. To spend your entire life secluded, training, preparing for some second coming. To dread every birthday because it was one year closer to a destiny you didn't have a choice in. I know what it's like to be raised in a broken family. To feel alone in your own home. To wonder what the world was like and regret ever experiencing it in the first place. I know you, Damian. Better than your family. Better than anyone else ever will."
"Show me," Damian demanded, bottom lip trembling. His eyes widened in a silent plea at the prospect of finally being understood.  "I'm tired of lies. Show me or I won't believe you."
Nodding, Raven took a step towards the boy and closed her eyes as she settled a hand on the top of his head. Searching, she found Damian's anger, his pain, his betrayal, and his sorrow. All of his emotions were painfully familiar.
Letting out a slow breathe, Raven tugged at her memories along with Damian's. She drew on his past while giving hers away in an intimate exchange of vulnerability. As she watched Damian's life flash before her eyes, he would be watching hers.
— — —
"Mother, why can't I play with the others?" Damian asked, tugging at his mother's sleeve. He wore a simple uniform that was white in color. Raven knew what that was like. Having the same color worn day by day with no variation. Sensory sameness they called it. To illicit calmness, peace, and a steady mind.
"Damian, darling, you know playing is reserved for later. Have you finished your chores, your studies, and your trainings?" The woman asked, settling a gentle hand on her son's shoulder.
"I woke up before sunrise to finish my exams," Damian remarked, looking at her hopefully. "My schedule is clear. I have nothing but time to waste."
"Alright then, go on. Be back before supper."
Pleased with himself, Damian ran off to join a group of children kicking a battered ball back and forth. Each child was wrapped in a colored tunic, and each child was clean shaven. Damian on the other hand was an outlier. He had a full head of thick black hair, wore plain white attire, and had a persistent lack of shoes. In comparison, he stuck out like a sore thumb.
"Jonathan, I have cleared my schedule. I may partake in your activities now," Damian explained, coming to a stop in front of the other children. Each child regarded Damien wearily as if he possessed the plague.
"You don't have to talk like that, Damian," the older boy snorted as a look of confusion flashed across Damian's face. "You're so proper."
"I'm not sure I follow. Is my speech not clear?" Damian frowned.
"Forget I said anything. Just pick a team so we can start," Jonathon laughed, shaking his head. Nodding, Damian joined the group of smaller kids who were losing quite drastically. Unfortunately for the older children, Damian turned the tides of the game. Soon, he racked up enough points that the others stopped playing. There was no sense in trying to beat a five year old that could run circles around you.
"Is that all, Jonathan? You said the game was one of great difficulty," Damian smiled, a sheen of sweat decorating his brow. "Shall we go again?"
"No, we're done," Jonathan sighed, watching the other kids sulk off into the shadows.
Proud of his accomplishments, Damian kept the ball to himself and spent the rest of the evening practicing his skills. The following day as he approached the children they regarded him with distaste rather than uncertainty. Even Jonathan looked less than pleased that Damian had turned up again.
"You can't play Damian, not today," Jonathan informed, a frown marring his childish features.
"Of course," Damian nodded. "I understand. I shall return tomorrow then."
But each day Damian returned he was ignored and shut out. He never got to kick the ball again and as much as it upset him he was above complaining. Seeming to understand that the other children despised him, he chalked it up to a lack of intelligence on their part. They simply weren't smart enough to compete with him. They lacked fundamental skills that he had already learned. There was no sense in wasting time on those beneath him.
Without friends and without sports to occupy his adolescent brain, Damian threw himself into work. He did not rest unless ordered to, he did not sleep unless ordered to, and he did not eat unless ordered to. He was destined to reach unexpected heights. So said the tutors. So said the prophets.
As for his mother, she coddled him in secret. Snuggling her little boy at night as he slept. Reading him bed time stories when needed. Even letting him color strange shapes on old pieces of parchment. Damian didn't mind the affection. Frankly, he liked it. He was his mother's son after all.
But his mother's affection became a point of scrutiny amongst his tutors. Her affections were a distraction. A hurdle that was meant to be overcome and so Damian strayed from his mother. For some time the absence of her touch felt wrong. Eventually, she no longer tried to smother her son with love as an unspoken rule had settled between them. One that Damian had implemented. He was growing up. He was becoming a true assassin and true assassin's didn't get kisses from their mother's.
With a hardened heart and a lack of familiarity, Damian became more secluded than before. His emotions were under lock and key. Without distractions he became the most ruthless child prodigy the League of Assassins had ever seen. He did not care when he killed and he did not care how he did it only that it was done.
Instead of affection, Damian was smothered with praise stained in blood and bad intentions (though he did not know it). His tutors saw a weapon. A boy meant for them and their schemes. Damian saw false prophets as real heroes. People to look up to.
"Damian, darling, there is something we must do," his mother whispered, pulling Damian out of bed early on his eighth birthday.
"Mother, it is late. Why must you wake me?" Damian glowered.
"We're leaving," she replied, smoothing down his wild hair. "You're going to stay with your father."
"My father?" Damian scoffed. "Why would I want anything to do with someone I've never known?"
"You used to want to know him. You talked about it all the time. Having a life away from the league. You can have that now," his mother insisted, her eyes soft.
"My place is here," Damian argued. "My purpose is here."
"No, it isn't. You don't understand what they want with you. Your grandfather needs you and I won't have my son be a pawn in someone else's game."
"What do you mean?" Damian glowered, a mix of agitation and confusion shifting his features.
"They need you to host his soul, Damian. To resurrect him," the woman explained, her voice hitching. "I knew this time would come and I thought I could do it but...I can't. This isn't the life for you. Not here. Not now."
— — —
As the memories came to an end, Raven found herself regarding the boy with a new empathy. Damian was raised as she was. To be a lamb for slaughter. A prodigy destined to fall at the hands of a parent. A lonely child in a monastery desensitized to their own humanity. Where children ignored you, feared you, laughed at you, and those you trusted abused your strength save a few.
"The League isn't so different from Azarath," Damian sniffled, "is it?"
"No," Raven shook her head, " though Azarath was kinder it denied me the same liberties as you."
"I'm sorry I called you a demon," Damian sniffled, wiping his nose on the back of his rain soaked sleeve.
"It's alright. I don't blame you," Raven assured, smoothing back his hair. "You feel guilty now, don't you? Grief too."
"Yeah," Damian nodded, attempting to force away tears to no avail.
"It's okay to mourn the life you wish you had," Raven assured, kneeling down in front of the small boy. "We can want things to be different while acknowledging the fact that we cannot change the past. We can mourn the people we would have been had the world loved us a little more. We can mourn the people we left behind and we can mourn the choices they made."
"I don't want to be a host," Damian cried, his hard exterior worn away with each drop of rain. "Father says it's only a matter of time before the league seeks me out."
"I promise you, I won't let them touch you. My friends kept me safe when my father sought me out. They will do the same for you. You're going to be okay," Raven assured, pulling Damian into a tight hug. "You don't have to be afraid."
"I'm not afraid. I'm angry," Damian growled, burying his face into the half demon's shoulder. "How could my mother do this to me? She knew the whole time and she still let it happen. She still let me be born!"
"And yet you love her," Raven reasoned, standing slowly with Damian in her arms.
"Yes," the boy cried, his voice soft and broken with sobs. "But nobody loves me."
"I do," Raven insisted.
"How can you say that when I've been so cruel?" Damian sniffed, aware of their slow pace back towards the tower. Part of him wanted to run. To avoid the building at all cost. The other part of him didn't care anymore.
"Because love is something I should have given myself a long time ago, and now I'm giving it to you instead." Shielding Damian as best as she could from the rain, Raven created a small black portal and stepped through it. In seconds both demon and demon slayer were in the confines of the tower soaked from head to toe.
"Thank god you found him!" Dick exclaimed, moving from the windows towards Raven when she held up a hand. Pausing, Dick frowned in confusion as Starfire stepped in to hold the shivering boy.
"He needs to be warm," Raven reasoned, whispering soft instructions to Star as Damian nestled into the Tameranean's arms. He was mentally and emotionally exhausted, and the alien girl was impossibly warm. He hadn't even realized how cold he was until now.
"Thank you," Damian whispered, as his shivers began to cease.
"Of course," Star nodded, making her way down the halls towards Damian's room.
"What happened?" Dick asked, turning his attention to Raven.
"He just needed someone to understand him," Raven explained. "He'll be okay. He just needs some time."
"So, you got through to him?" Dick smiled faintly.
"Yes," Raven nodded, very aware of the pool of water collecting at her feet.
"Thank you. I'm sorry for snapping earlier I was just scared. There are people that want to hurt him and I-"
"I know," Raven nodded, Dick's previous anger making more sense. "I promised him he'd be safe here. I intend to keep that promise one way or another."
"As much as he is a mean little man, he's still a kid," Gar agreed, "so it's only right to look after him. Just can't believe he actually likes you. Didn't he want to kill you his first day here?"
"Something like that," Raven smiled.
"Well, go and get cleaned up. You look cold. Just know that I owe you big time," Dick sighed. "Seriously, I don't know how you do it."
"You could say it's magic," Raven shrugged, drawing out a smile from the older boy as she turned into the hallway.
It didn't take her long to shower and change into something warm for the night. As far as Raven was concerned, she'd earned a good night's sleep. Humming softly to herself, she ventured to Damian's room with a cup of tea. Knocking on the door, she stepped inside to find Damian in a fresh set of pajamas, propped up in bed and bundled up in a plethora of blankets. Despite looking like a human burrito he wasn't too upset.
"So his name is One Eyed Willie?" Damian asked, eyeing the black cat that Starfire held. "And he gets along with Silkie?"
"Oh they are the best of friends," Starfire assured. "Perhaps we should watch the film that Willie is named from."
"That can be for another time," Raven reminded, aware of how late it was. "For now, he needs to get some sleep."
"Is the film one of particular interest?" Damian asked, hesitantly taking the cup of tea that Raven handed to him.
"I would say so. It is one of the greatest interest. There are pirates and treasures of many kind," Starfire explained.
"May we watch the film tomorrow?" Damian asked, both him and Starfire looking at Raven expectantly.
"I don't see why not. So long as Dick doesn't drag you back home," Raven shrugged.
"That would be quite unfortunate," Damian frowned, worry momentarily clouding his thoughts.
"Perhaps a sleepover at your home would be in order," Star decided, her green eyes shimmering in thought.
"A sleepover?" Damian asked.
"It is the most magical experience!" Star smiled, so excited she started to float.
"It's pretty fun," Raven agreed. "Now, let's leave the kid alone so he can sleep."
"Right," Starfire nodded, collecting both Silkie and Willie. "Goodnight, dear Damian."
"Goodnight," Damian replied, setting his now empty tea mug on the bedside table. Rolling onto his side he heard the door begin to shut as his bedroom lights were turned off. It reminded him quite painfully of his time at the monastery when his mother whispered goodnight. He supposed he'd have to deal with those reminders. He wouldn't be getting that life back anytime soon not that he necessarily wanted it. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. It was difficult trying to still his mind. He thought too much. Felt too much. Eventually he would give in to the dark from sheer exhaustion.
"Are you alright?" Starfire asked, noticing the growing quiet surrounding Raven as they left Damian alone. While Raven was always quiet Starfire could sense the difference. Something troubled the half demon.
"Yeah," Raven nodded, but the rasp in her voice was heavier than normal. She was sad.
"Rachel," Starfire frowned, drawing Raven's attention quite effectively at the use of her legal name. "You are sad. I do not need powers like yours to tell."
"I don't know," Raven sighed, feeling a knot form in her throat. "I'm glad that I could help him but I can't help being jealous that I never had someone relate to me at that age. It's selfish, I know, but it would have made things so much easier."
"I understand," Starfire insisted, pulling Raven into a tight hug. "You have done more for him than anyone did for you but it is not selfish to wish things had been different."
"Which is why I may have made a really big mistake. I don't want him to endure what I did but because of that I promised him I'd look after him," Raven admitted. "I intend to keep that promise but...I don't know what that means."
"How so?" Starfire asked, taking a step back to regard her partner. She saw worry etch it's way into Raven's pale features and an aura of anxiety radiate from the half demon.
"You remember my father don't you?" Raven asked. "How I was supposed to bring him here to start his rule on earth? Damian is in a very similar position, Star. His destiny, the one his prophets foretold, is to be a host body. For someone in his lineage. I don't know who, but Damian's spent his entire life training for this."
"How much time does he have?" Star asked, her gaze settling on the closed door of Damian's room.
"Until his thirteenth birthday. We have time, but I know better than anyone that time has a way of slipping by," Raven warned.
"Then, when the time comes I too will protect him," Starfire assured, her hands coming to rest on Raven's shoulders. "That is my promise."
The Tamaranean watched as Raven's worry slowly evaporated, her anxiety replaced with a soft expression. A tiny smile tugged at the half demon's lips as she regarded the beautiful girl in front of her.
"You never cease to amaze me," Raven sighed, standing on her tip toes and pressing a firm kiss to Starfire's lips. "I fall more in love with you every day. Even when it seems like the world is destined to end every other week."
"That is the way of a hero," Starfire smiled, taking Raven's face in her hands to pepper the half demon with feather light kisses. As an intense blush decorated the witch's cheeks she found her voice again.
"I wouldn't have it any other way."