A Tameranean's Raven

Justice

Upon Damian's return to the tower his stoic demeanor began to crumble. It was clear to him that no matter how much he tried to push people away they'd keep coming back. More importantly, he deserved to have friends and relationships. That was normal for a boy his age even if it was strange at first.
While it took him a significant amount of time to properly warm up to the others, soon Damian found himself at peace with them. Despite this, he followed Raven around like a smaller version of her shadow. Where she went he was sure to follow. For a while Dick was admittedly jealous of Damian's fascination with the half demon. Dick was used to being Damian's favorite but that had changed with time. Sure the brothers were still close, but there were things Dick couldn't provide for Damian the way Raven could. Particularly the affection of a maternal figure.
It was clear to everyone else that Damian latched onto Raven because he felt safe with her. That in a way she reminded him of his mother, but without the toxicity of such a relationship. Of course Raven was oblivious when it came to the little boy following her around. For someone so in tune with others and their feelings she was painfully unaware of more obvious indicators.
For instance, Damian's mirroring of Raven's schedule. He adapted to early morning meditations with ease followed by time for self reflection and studies. The structure was similar to his life at the monastery and consequently similar to Raven's own childhood.  Whatever tea she drank he was quick to drink too, and whatever hobbies she enjoyed he would do his best to learn.
To Damian, Raven was who he wanted to be. For a long time he wanted to be like his father or Dick, but try as he might he always fell short. Dick and Bruce didn't kill, they didn't mediate or study, they weren't particularly spiritual, and they didn't know what it was like to fight your own emotions on a daily basis. To recognize and suppress the worst parts of you in order to be a better person.
For Damian, the more he could be like Raven the more his family would be proud of him. But there was more to his comfort surrounding the half demon. She was gentle in a way that surprised Damian. While his family was affectionate it was often a rough type of love manifested through years of trauma and trauma bonding. The relationships at home were often tumultuous.
His father was prone to introducing new women to Damian though none of them stuck around. Even Barbara and Dick had their fair share of nasty spats. They always sorted them out, but that was never the case at the tower. Damian watched from afar the way his friends interacted with each other. Particularly Raven and Starfire.
While they rarely argued, when they did it was quickly sorted out through proper communication and reassurances. They never went to bed angry at one another and problems of the past were quickly forgotten about. In many cases, Raven put up with seemingly unimportant things just to please Starfire and vice versa. For instance, Raven never minded letting Starfire play with her hair even though it was something she usually despised. Likewise, Starfire occasionally joined in on morning meditations. It was strange to see people so at ease with one another and so full of love. If Damian could be like that when he grew up then he'd have succeeded in life. He'd be better than his father and mother.
"So, when are you going to marry?" Damian asked, sidling up to the dinner table to look pointedly at Raven as he sat beside Starfire. The poor half demon was so caught off guard by the young boy's question she began to choke on her drink.
"You can't just ask questions like that," Dick reprimanded, though a smile tugged at his lips as Gar nervously patted Raven on the back.
"Are you drowning? Do you need help?" Gar asked, fighting back a series of giggles.
"My apologies," Damian frowned, worry painting his features. He feared he'd actually done something wrong but by the answer expressions of everyone else he slowly relaxed.
"Wrong pipe," Raven choked out, managing a few more coughs despite her watery eyes. A deep breathe later and she'd effectively collected herself.
"Well? The boy asked a question," Cy reminded, doing his best to appear nonchalant.
"You don't have to answer," Damian blurted out, blushing a light shade of pink. "I was just curious."
"It's okay," Raven assured, "um, in all honesty I haven't really thought about it."
"Wedding customs on Tamaran are quiet tiring," Starfire noted, "it would be a very long event. I doubt anyone would find it particularly interesting."
"Then what about a wedding here on earth?" Gar asked. "I've never been to a wedding. Do you think I could be your Best Man, Raven?"
"Absolutely not," Raven snorted, shaking her head.
"Awe come on! Pleeeease?" Gar begged, doing his best set of puppy dog eyes.
"I'd be the flower boy," Dick decided, sitting up straight as if he were proud of himself.
"Can I be the pastor guy?" Damian asked, looking expectantly at his brother.
"Are you licensed?" Cy asked, eyeing Damian wearily.
"No, but I'm sure I could be. What's the age limit?" He asked.
"We're not getting married," Raven insisted. "It's not that easy."
"Of course it is!" Cy exclaimed. "We could do it right here at the tower."
"I'm serious! It's not as easy as you think, okay?" Raven frowned, losing interest in her meal.
"Like what? Money? My dad could pay for it," Dick insisted.
"Just, forget it. You guys wouldn't understand," Raven sighed. An awkward silence settled over the table until the half demon sensed she'd ruined the mood and silently phased through the floor.
"Did I do something wrong?" Damian worried, a ball of anxiety writhing in the pit of his stomach.
"No," Starfire assured, settling a comforting hand on Damian's shoulder. "Believe me when I say we've had quite a few in depth discussions. For my culture, should we marry, Raven's responsibilities are directly tied to Tamaran too. I can't ask that of her when she was not born there. For Raven, anyone brought into her family by blood or marriage is a liability. Her father may have been banished from earth but his influence still lingers. He is a ruler of the 8th realm of hell and by extension Raven is part of the monarchy  in that regard. Her heritage ties her to Hell as much as mine does to Tamaran. Should we marry, it becomes my responsibility too. Wether or not I want those ties and expectations."
"Oh," Damian nodded, trying to process the juxtaposition of both Starfire's and Raven's family obligations. "I see."
Pursing his lips, Damian stood from the table and abandoned the others in search of his mentor. He wandered the halls aimlessly until he found his way to the roof. Raven sat there on the edge staring intently at the setting sun. Damian could tell she was sorting through a lot of feelings.
Without saying a word he sat beside the half demon close enough that their shoulders touched. Letting out a small sigh, Damian took Raven's hand in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have approached someone in their mid twenties with such ease. Believe it or not, he had reservations when it came to adults. He didn't trust them easily, but Raven was different.
"It must be frustrating having your life held hostage by your parents," Damian remarked, kicking his feet back and forth. The height of the tower never bothered him. In fact, he enjoyed the view more than anyone.
"Yeah," Raven nodded, sparing the young boy a pained glance.
"I'm sorry for my questions. I didn't know they would upset you," Damian admitted.
"It's okay. You didn't know. I might have overreacted," Raven sighed, laughing lightly. "It's just...difficult."
"I can imagine," Damian nodded. "Do you think there will ever be a solution?"
"No," Raven swallowed tightly. "Even if I were to truly usurp my father then I would inherit his domain entirely. I could do it. In fact I think I'd treat his subjects better than he would but then I'd split my time between hell and Tamaran. I would never have time for you. Or any of the others. Earth would no longer exist to me."
"What if Starfire gave her responsibilities away?" Damian asked. "Doesn't she have a brother and sister? If one of them becomes grand ruler that helps eliminate the problem. Maybe not your dad meddling in things but it would mean she doesn't have to worry about Tamaran as much."
"That's an option but it would be difficult," Raven decided. "She'd have to train her brother and she'd still feel obligated to her home planet. However, it would mitigate the conflicting responsibilities."
"Well, whatever you decide I'll be there," Damian smiled faintly. "Even if it's not a real legally binding marriage maybe there could just be a symbolic ceremony. Just think about it okay? You have a right to be happy."
"Thank you, Damian," Raven smiled thinly.
— — —
As the half demon did her best to forget her troubles, she focused more on Damian than before. For once, Raven noticed the way he eagerly tagged along behind her. How he asked questions the moment they popped into his head without much of a filter. It amused her seeing Damian so relaxed compared to his previous nature. Of course, he was still stubborn, opinionated, and blunt, but those were all things Raven had come to appreciate. Damian was a peaceful presence compared to the chaos of Gar.
Sitting silently beside the boy, Raven watched him from the corner of her eye. He frowned in thought while pouring over a book he'd borrowed from her. He'd taken an interest in rituals as of late, the history and brutality behind them along with their religious nature.
He had a knack for being drawn to more gruesome facts. A personality trait Raven was particularly fond of. He critiqued horror movies with her and assured Starfire that the films were horribly fake. He explained the practical effects in great detail determining their application by logic alone. It was amazing how observant he was for a boy roughly ten years of age.
"Mother?" Damian asked, his words sounding distant and preoccupied.
"Come again?" Raven asked, surprised by his question.
"My apologies," Damian stammered, seeming to realize what he'd said. "I was curious if you knew anything about the practice of live mummification? It was mentioned to me once by the monks and I cannot seem to find it in your book."
"Oh," Raven nodded, choosing to ignore the term of endearment for Damian's sake. It had surprised her to say the least, frightened her even, but she accepted it without much additional thought. "I don't know a great deal but I can tell you the basics."
"That will do. I can scour my father's library for further information as I spend next month with him. It'll be strange leaving this place behind but I'm looking forward to it," Damian explained, closing the book with care. "You will be okay without me, yes?"
"I'll be just fine. I won't even miss you," Raven teased, earning a very small smile in response. Despite this, there was an expression of uncertainty creeping its way across Damian's face that caused a twinge to tug at Raven's heart. "Okay, I might miss you a tiny bit."
"That's understandable. I would miss me too," Damion decided, closing the book and eagerly awaiting his lecture on self mummification.
It was true that Damian's eventual absence left the tower feeling empty. With both Dick and Damian off aiding their father's crusade to rescue Gotham, an intense feeling of uncertainty plagued the titans.
Raven did her best to ignore it and for a while she did, but Starfire made it blatantly clear how dissatisfied she was with the absence of her friends. She too would have to venture back home for some time and wanted to make the most of her days on earth. Spending it away from two very important people in her life was not part of the plan.
"Do you think they miss us?" Star asked, doing her best to seem unbothered by Damian's absence. She was used to the little boy trailing along behind Raven. Now that he wasn't, the empty space he once occupied felt twice as big.
"Oh I'm sure they do," Cy insisted. "Then again maybe not. They have that big mansion to live in. That's gotta be way nicer than what we've got."
"I bet they have three swimming pools," Gar sighed wistfully, dangling over the back of the couch.
"I don't think they'll have much time for swimming," Raven reminded. She'd been keeping up on the news as of late. Gotham was riddled with, well, the Riddler. With a team up between Scarecrow and the Riddler, both Dick and Damian would be kept busy. She could only hope the two boys were safe in their pursuit of justice.
It wasn't until Damian showed up at the end of the month returning with Dick that Raven realized maybe it wasn't the criminals she had to worry about. Damian was absolutely furious. He'd returned to the tower angrier than he had been the first time he arrived.
Battered and bruised, Dick escorted the young boy inside. As soon as Damian crossed the threshold of the tower her retreated out of sight. The others watched as he left them all behind, the ideas of a pleasant reunion now shattered.
"You look awful," Starfire worried, lightly touching the vibrant bruise decorating Dick's jaw.
"Yeah, we got an ass beating that's for sure. Babs had to step in," Dick explained, making his way towards the couch. He had a slight limp in his left leg that worried Raven. Dick relied on his agility and balance in fights. He couldn't risk a limp.
"What do you mean?" Gar asked, eager to hear the details of Dick's escapades in Gotham.
"Scarecrow got ahold of me. Nearly had me turn on little Damian. Luckily the kid came prepared with an antidote," Dick explained, running a hand through his hair.
"That doesn't sound so bad," Cy shrugged. "Did he get gassed?"
"Yeah," Dick nodded, a strange expression morphing his features. "It didn't seem to affect him. It preys on fear and Damian isn't scared of anything. He just laughed right on back at Scarecrow..."
Dick carried on in his story, but both Starfire and Raven got the impression that Dick had a severe misunderstanding of what had happened. Quietly leaving the boys to their conversation, Raven and Starfire ventured down the hallway to Damian's room. The boy was hesitant to answer before slowly easing the door open. When he realized who it was, his anger subsided ever so slightly and he stepped aside.
"I suppose you're here to question me about my actions. Believe me, I have already been lectured," Damian muttered, closing the door behind himself.
"There is no lecture," Starfire assured, watching the small boy perch on the edge of his bed.
"Scarecrow gassed you," Raven started, hesitant, "but Dick thinks it didn't affect you. Did it?"
"Of course it did," Damian scoffed, "but I've been trained to confront my fears. They don't stop me, they make me stronger. All I saw was hell. Hell that didn't end no matter what I killed. The demons I'm meant to kill kept coming back. They smothered me. Tore me apart. It was easy to determine such an event wasn't real. I snapped out of it quickly."
"And?" Starfire encouraged.
"And I went after Scarecrow. He'd gotten Dick good with the gas. He was screaming and crying. I didn't know what had happened to him so I just pumped him full of the antidote," Damian explained, pursing his lips as he dropped his head.
"Then Barbara stepped in," Raven noted.
"I was handling it," Damian protested.
"How so?" Raven continued, knowing where this was going.
"I was going to kill him," Damian replied matter of factly. "He'd hurt Dick. No one hurts my brother or my family. The last person who did so lost both of their arms. All I had were my fists but I was going to pound that sorry excuse of a doctor until he stopped breathing. And I know what you're going to do. You're going to be mortified just like my father. You're going to hate me because of it but I didn't do anything wrong. Men like Scarecrow deserve to die. That is the way of the league. The innocent don't perish just the corrupt."
"I don't think you did anything wrong," Raven shrugged, earning a surprised look from Damian.
"You don't?" Damian stammered, looking between both Raven and Starfire in search of a lie.
"I would kill for my sister and for my brother," Starfire agreed. "Family must protect each other at all costs. Perhaps murder is wrong but I am willing to face its consequences to protect the people I care about. Still,  I do not seek to harm others beyond what is necessary."
"I think the difference here, Star, is that Damian feels he has the right to kill no matter the circumstances so long as the victim deserves it," Raven clarified, doing her best to assess the situation.
"Well, yeah. Why shouldn't I feel that way? Bad people don't get to do bad things all the time without facing the consequences. Joker brutalized and murdered my brother Jason. While he was lucky enough to return to his body,  my father did not kill the clown in an equal exchange of life. Because of this, I've told my father that should I see Joker I will slaughter him without second thought. To me, there are no second chances for people like him, and he has been given far too many." Damian lamented, his shoulders shaking as his body trembled. "But because I feel that way my father despises me. He says he loves me but I can see the disgust in his eyes and it angers me that he does not care enough to kill."
"Damian," Raven sighed, kneeling in front of the boy and settling two calming hands on his shoulders. "I understand your anger. I do. I thought that way for a while too. When I was young and with the monks of Azarath I had dreams of revenge and justice. That I would do what no one else could and rid the world of all things evil. I wanted to kill anyone who worshipped my father or the lords of the realms of hell. I wanted to keep them from hurting anyone else the way my mother was. Sometimes I still feel that way, but despite this I don't murder. I don't kill. I'm very capable of it. In fact, I could kill almost anyone without lifting a finger. It would be easy to do and much quicker than sending them to prison."
"Then why don't you?" Damian asked, his words curious rather than accusatory.
"Azar, a great mentor of mine, told me that the line between a man and a monster resides in the heart," Raven explained, settling a hand over Damian's small but firm chest. Underneath her palm she could feel the strong beat of Damian's heart. "When you can't control the heart, the mind will soon follow, and with it you lose yourself. Justice may be blind but she is not without heart or thought."
"So what are you saying?" Damian frowned, "that it's okay to kill people as long as I think about it?"
"What I'm saying is that so long as you react on emotion to determine who lives and who dies, you will never bring justice. A thoughtless and heartless act accomplishes nothing. There's a reason justice is blind. She was created to fit the ideology of an eye for an eye. If that ideology persists the whole world will go blind. Who benefits then?"
Damian blinked slowly, his mind reeling until at last he gave a small nod. Letting out a deep sigh he relaxed and stared intently at Raven's earnest eyes. Then he looked at Starfire who watched him with nothing but belief and hope. It contrasted greatly with the stern angry expression of his father.
"I think I understand now," Damian nodded. "It goes against all of my teachings but...Azar seems far smarter than the tutors I was subjected to. Perhaps there is more to justice than killing."
"You'll get the hang of it," Starfire encouraged. "It can be hard but you've done hard things before, yes?"
"It'll be an interesting type of challenge," Damian decided. "But I'm up for it."
— — —
And he was. Damian decided that there was no harm in trying to implement these new teachings. He studied the words of Azar with great interest, pouring over some of Raven's old books. Azar wrote clearly and concisely, expressing his doctrine without room for interpretation. It made more sense to Damian than any passionate lecture his father could have provided.
Which led to him becoming far more merciful than any of his family would have foreseen. Pointing a blade at the neck of a crook, Damian contemplated killing him. It would be easy and relatively painless. The scum of Gotham would seep into the gutters and be forgotten. But that wasn't justice. With a heavy sigh, the boy lowered his blade.
"You should appreciate the chance you're being given," Damian remarked. "If you had caught me yesterday you would be a dead man."
"Thank you?" The crook stammered, struggling to his feet only to be kicked back down. Tying the man up, Damian sheathed his blade.
"Don't forget the mercy I've given you today. Should we meet again you won't be so lucky." The warning was cruel in nature, but Damian hoped it would steer the man clear of future wrong doings. As far as he was concerned, burglary didn't carry a heavy sentence. "I'll be watching you."
With that, Damian lit a flare drawing the attention of a passing helicopter before vanishing into the night with Bruce hot on his heels. The two remained quiet for some time before the renowned Bat spoke up.
"You lowered your blade. That's good. I'm proud of you," He rasped, sliding down the gutter of a nearby building as Damian scrambled down a set of scaffolding.
"Don't flatter yourself, you had nothing to do with it," Damian sighed, coming to rest on the pavement.
"I'm assuming you turned to Rachel," Bruce hummed, a hint of distaste in his voice.
"She doesn't like being called that. Only Starfire can use her birth name," Damian glowered. "But yes, I turned to Raven. She showed me the teachings of Azar."
"Did she tell you that upon her birth Azarath was nearly disintegrated?" Bruce asked, matching his son's stride. "Its skies turned black and its water became poison."
"Why should I care for the circumstances of her birth? Has she turned the earth's skies black and it's water into poison?" Damian asked, glancing up at his father.
"I worry that your need for a maternal figure is blinding you to her true nature. She is dangerous Damian," Bruce insisted, making a hard left as Damian's pace increased.
"You're only saying that because of the League. They were told by some weird witchy girl that Raven is a demon and now everyone is losing their minds. News flash, everyone's been aware of that for years. They're slow if you ask me. I could sense it the moment I met her," Damian scoffed. "The way I see it, you're only concerned because you're letting fear and jealousy cloud your judgment."
"I'm concerned because unlike those in the league I don't have a contingency plan for her," Bruce countered. "I can handle Superman. He can't disintegrate a planet with a snap of the fingers."
"And the politicians of San Monté can blow up an entire country with the push of a button yet no one bats an eye. Unlike politicians, Raven isn't ruled by her emotions. I think you have more to worry about regarding nuclear warfare than someone whose spent their entire life afraid of hurting other people," Damian countered. "The League has no right to judge her. If they so much as step foot into the tower I will not hesitate to defend her and my friends by any means necessary."
"I just don't want you in the cross fire. No matter what happens," Bruce sighed, settling a hand on his son's shoulder. "You're important to me. Can you blame me for worrying that maybe your closeness to Raven might get you hurt in the long run? Besides, this is the League we're talking about. They're full fledged supers. You're just a kid."
"And you're just a man," Damian glowered. While Bruce wanted to protest, he didn't. His son was right to be upset and defensive. Perhaps he was a little jealous and perhaps he was succumbing to the collective hysteria of the league. After all, it wasn't like any of them were normal humans beings. Why was a Kryptonian more acceptable than a half-demon?
"You're right," Bruce admitted. "I am jealous, but Raven is important to you. So she's important to me. Perhaps I was misguided."
Damian paused. It was rare for his father to admit wrong doing. Blinking slowly, the young boy regarded the aging man. "Thank you. You know, I think the both of you would get along if you have it a chance."
"Maybe," Bruce nodded frowning in thought. "Why don't you invite her to dinner?The others can tag along too."
"Really?" Damian asked, peeking up as they sidled up beside the Batmobile.
"Really," Bruce nodded, clambering inside.
— — —
Back at the tower, Starfire noticed that Raven had been stuck in thought for a very long time. The mug of tea she'd been holding no longer steamed, and while filled to the brim had grown cold. It was clear that whatever Raven was thinking about had taken all of her attention. So much so she didn't even notice when Starfire took the mug away, dumped its contents down the drain, and placed it snugly in the dishwasher.
After another moment of silence, she sat beside the half demon and carefully drew Raven from her thoughts. Instinctively, Raven wanted to retreat back into her mind until she realized who was bothering her.
"Sorry," she apologized, a bit embarrassed to have been caught so unaware.
"Are you alright? You have been thinking for quite some time," Starfire noted.
"Yeah I'm okay," Raven nodded, pursing her lips. She wasn't sure whether or not to admit what had occupied her mind for so long. "Damian...uh, Damian called me 'mother.'"
"Did it bother you?" Starfire asked.
"It scared me but the more I think about it the more I'm okay with it," Raven admitted. "It makes sense."
"I'll say," Starfire laughed. "He has followed you around the way Willie and Silky do when it's time for dinner. He is intent on learning from you. There isn't a moment he does not search for your reassurance."
"It took me a while to notice," Raven sighed, "but I'm glad he feels comfortable with me. It's weird to say, but he does feel like he's my own. At least in a way. At the very least I feel responsible for him. I told him I'd look out for him and that he'd be a better person if he'd just let me help him. I didn't think he'd be so open to that advice. At the time I just wanted to save him from himself. Now, I'm not so worried about that."
"You did good with him," Starfire insisted, "and I know you love him. He'll depend on you for some time but there may come a point when-"
"He moves on. I know," Raven nodded, feeling Starfire's gentle touch on her shoulder.
"Will you be okay when he does?"
"Of course," Raven nodded. "All birds take flight eventually. Look at Dick. He used to be just like Damian albeit a little less surly."
"True," Starfire mused, pausing for a moment. "Speaking of Damian...perhaps we should revisit our conversation?"
"About?" Raven asked, taking the Tamaranean's hand in her own.
"Marriage," Starfire shrugged. "There must be some way to make it work. We just have to think outside of the box."
"I'll leave that to you," Raven mused. "I've done enough thinking for today. It's your turn now."
"Hm," Starfire hummed, relaxing into Raven's side. "Maybe I can save thinking for tomorrow. It is late and my brain is most certainly tired of making thoughts."
"I'm sure it is," Raven smiled thinly, pressing a light kiss to Starfire's temple as the Tamaranean made herself comfortable. Raven knew they'd inevitably fall asleep on the couch but that wasn't so bad. Not if she had a cute alien girl to cuddle up with. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? She'd get overheated? Fall off the couch? Perish from too many cuddles? As far as she was concerned those were hazards worth suffering through.
Actually, they were hazards worth enduring because there was no suffering. Not with Starfire.