Just Us

Four

"I can't..." Giovani whispers, pulling his face away from mine. My hands fall from his neck slowly. I start to get up, embarrassed that I would say such a thing. 

"Yea sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking." I say pretending to laugh, trying not to cry. 

"No, Elizabeth, don't do that." He says getting up after me.

"Do what? I'm not doing anything Giovani." I say still trying to play it off.

I walk towards the door of the library, just wanting to be alone. He follows me easily catching up. Grabbing my hand he spins me into his chest, keeping our fingers interlaced. I look up into his eyes, him staring into mine. Our faces being just as close as before.

"I want to kiss you, I do Izzy. But I just can't." He whispers, resting his forehead on mine as our eyes close.

"I know..." I say not completely sure if he could hear my soft tone despite him being so close. His hand comes up to my cheek, swiping away the tear that had escaped against my will.

For a second longer I allow myself to feel complete in his arms, then I pull away. "See you tomorrow Giovani." I say, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

Walking out I don't look back. I knew if I did I would have only gone with him. I couldn't sleep with him tonight. Not after this.

*Giovani's POV*

As she walks away I couldn't help but feel bad. I know I shouldn't have let the situation escalate to that, but I just couldn't stop myself. 

I stand in the library, still by the door, unable to move from the position she left me in. I still feel her kiss lingering on my cheek. Her lips were as soft as a cloud. Finally I snap myself out of my daydream.

I turn off the fireplace, heading to my room. I take a nice warm shower. I didn't even need a shower, I was just waiting for Elizabeth to come to my room. Over the past week I've grown accustomed to sleeping with her. 

I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep without her hugging onto me. When I get out the shower and see she's still not in the room I just have to assume she's not coming. 

As I lay down staring at the ceiling I couldn't help but think of all the events that happened today. I feel bad for ruining the picnic, and her spot in the library. I should've just let her sleep. But when I couldn't find her I panicked.

I toss and turn for an hour before I get up deciding to go to her. I search all around the castle, finally finding her in her room down by the river. My mom had declared this Izzy's room when she discovered how much Iz liked the sounds of the river.

*picture on top*

Izzy and her mom spent so much time decorating it, but she hasn't been up their since her mom passed.

I knock lightly on the open door, the room was dark and I could see her sitting outside, dipping her feet in the warm water.  "Come in." Her gentle voice echoes out, letting a small sniff escape her otherwise silent form.

I sit down behind her, not wanting to go near the water in fear of falling in.

"I'm sorry Iz. I know I've been a jackass and I'm probably confusing you with my indecisiveness. In all honesty I need you." I let out a airy chuckle. "I need you to lay next to me talking about your day, and I need you to snuggle, and I need to care for you. But I don't want to make this awkward for you. I'm sorry Elizabeth." 

*back to Elizabeth's POV*

After I ran away from the library, I needed a place I know I would be alone. My room. No, I can't go  in there. I haven't been in there since- nevermind. That's not important.

After a while of standing in the middle of the hallway, awkwardly debating what to do I make my way down the never ending stairs to my room. I actually didn't mind the stairs. The chill of the night bounced off the stones and seemed to calm me down a lot.

Once I'm on the bottom floor, I start the familiar twist and turns to get to my room. With each step I grow more and more at peace. I pass many doors, which don't lead to anything but the garden behind the castle. My room is the only one on this floor. 

The castle was built on a hill, so the back is lower than the front. No one wanted this room because they would be all alone. But I love it for that. 

There's nothing more peaceful than sitting in my room completely alone.

I move gracefully around my room, looking around as if it's my first time in the room. I haven't been in this room in years yet it is still so clean. I wonder whos been cleaning it. I open my closet seeing all my old clothes.

These will probably still fit, I haven't grown a single inch since I was 13. It's a little sad that I'm 19 and still 5'0 but whatever I can still take a grown ass man down.

I find some old sweatpants. They were a bit tight but still really comfy so I take of my shirt, leaving me in my black sports bra. I take off my socks and shoes, silently setting my feet on the cold wood. 

I finally find a seat on the edge of the river, finding peace in the familiar but forgotten sound of its soft current. I close my eyes allowing myself to live in the moment, allowing nature to consume me in my entirety. 

Suddenly a knock sounds throughout my room. Damn it. I knew I should have locked the door. "Come in." I say knowing who it is. I hear Giovani's soft steps as he walks towards me. He sits down behind me, I don't dare look at him.

He's put me through so much. I'm getting so many mixed signals. One second he's all lovely and the next he's cold and heartless. I'm not gonna put myself through unnecessary misery. 

"I'm sorry Iz."

Every word I just said is a lie.

I instantly lean back, allowing my back to rest up against his chest. We both stare out at the river. The sound slowly lulling me to sleep. As I grow more and more tired I feel Giovani pick me up, carrying me to the bed. 

He sets me down on the bed getting ready to leave, not knowing if I wanted to sleep with him. I grab his arm, half asleep, barely able to keep my eyes open.

"No." I get out before my eyes start to shut again. I feel the bed dip beside me as he lays down. I feel him wrap his arms around me, pulling me on top of him. 

He places a gently kiss on my shoulder, whispering goodnight to me.

Maybe there is something more peaceful then being alone in my room.

._._.

I just realized how toxic their relationship actually is. Giovani really needs to step up his game. Anyways, please leave some tips and anything I could improve on. Hope you liked the chapter!!!