All your fault

Part 6

Regulus looked down on him, "Go. I'm certainly not going to protect you from him again" 

"Thank you," James murmured embarrassed. 

He quickly got up and hurried away. He ran straight into the Griffidor Tower and threw himself back into his bed. He would never get up again. Never ever again. Shortly thereafter, Sirius and Moony entered the room. 

As soon as Sirius saw James, he wanted to go to him but Moony just pushed him out of the room "Stay out of the this please, wait with Marlene in the common room okay?", he said softly. 

"What did I do?" Sirius wanted to ask, but Moony smiled at him and then closed the door. 

"Sorry" 

"You don't have to apologize, for him." 

"No," Remus said quietly, "I encouraged you. I told you that everything will be fine again and I am to blame for the fact that you had hopes" 

"Don't think so negatively, it's true, it didn't work out for me, but I don't want anyone to feel bad" 

"If I'm not to blame myself, then you're finally dropping this charade! Don't pretend everything is fine!" 

"But everything is fine!"

 "No! Stop pretending!" 

"I - I don't pretend I ... shit! Remus! How do you always do that?", sobbed James. 

"Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed. I've liked Sirius since the first time I saw him. I could never have dreamed of really getting together with him, but then we managed to accept ourselves as we are. Regulus needs time, you can't blame him for that. You both still need time, just as Sirius and I needed time"

"Tell me about you and Sirius", James needed a distraction. 

"What do you want to know?" asked Remus. 

"Sirius, he had so many girlfriends, how could you stay so optimistic and not give up?" 

"Endurance" 

"But ... have you never been jealous?" 

"Of course I was, but Sirius only did it to see if I reacted somehow. Pure calculation, as always with him" 

"Do you believe when I ... if I got a girlfriend, would Regulus realize that he might like me after all?" 

"Maybe", Moony said.

"Lily, do you think she would forgive me again?" asked James hopefully. 

He just wanted Regulus to become aware of him again. He wanted him to become himself again. Regulus had again become the unreachable Ice Prince and that was James' fault. 

"I just heard from Dorcas that she heard from Yasmin that Marlene heard that Lily said to Mary that she wanted to go to the Halloween ball with you", Remus grinned. 

"You spend too much time with the girls," laughed James "You sound like them" 

Moony also laughed, "Am I no longer masculine enough to be a marauder?" 

"Moony," James said seriously "You'll always be masculine enough" 

They looked each other in the eye for a long time and then they both burst into laughter. 

The door was torn open and Sirius stormed in, "Who's having fun here without me?!" 

"James said I'm not masculine enough," Moony grinned 

"Oi, my Moony is the most masculine man of all in Hogwarts!" 

"Calm down Padfoot, it was just a joke", James grinned. 

"Nobody jokes about my Moony," he looked slightly offended. 

"Yeah, calm down," Remus grinned and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek Sirius began to grin. 

They were so in love. Would James ever have such a thing? Maybe. Hopefully.

Monday morning James sat very early in the common room of the Gryffindor tower. He wanted to intercept Lily before class to ask her if she wanted to go to the ball with him. And somehow he had to manage to make it clear to her that their relationship would only be a charade. And she would also have to agree, which James thought was impossible at the time. But if you don't dare, you won't win, right? And yet his confidence waned when Lily walked down the stairs. When his eyes met hers, he saw only hatred at first, but her expression changed the moment Mary nudged her and asked something. Now Lily smiled brightly at James and almost floated down the stairs. 

"Good morning, are you waiting for me?" 

"Accually, yes" he looked at Mary and Marlene "Can I borrow her for a moment?" 

"Go ahead lover boy", Mary giggled and took Marlene by the hand "Come on, Lily doesn't need us anymore"

With a dramatic gesture, she grabbed her chest and pretended to be in pain to leave Lily alone with James. 

"Hey" 

"Hi", James couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye "I wanted to ask you something" 

"Go on", she smiled. 

"Would you ... would you go to the Helloween Ball with me, and ... And would you pretend to be my girlfriend?" 

"Pretend to be your girlfriend? What do you mean?"

"Uhm ... how do I explain it ... uhm there is someone I really like very much, and I want..."

"To make her jealous?"

"Uhm..."

"Am I wrong?"

"No, it's just ..."

"It's not a girl is it?!", Lily slapped her forehead with her hand, "Of course! It's a boy! James Fleamont Potter is gay!" 

Quickly James pressed his hand on Lily's mouth "Shhh not that loud"

 "PhooImrighgt", James took his hand off her mouth "So I'm right" she repeated, gasping for air. 

"Maybe? I don't know", he sat down. 

Lily crouched down next to him "James, I think we can help each other"

"What? How could I help you?"

"There is also someone I like, I actually wanted to ask this person to go to the Halloween ball with me, but now, by just pretending to be together, we could draw the attention of our two love interests towards us. I mean, a prefect and the head boy of our school. And both look stunningly good? We are sure of their attention"

"You're really not humble Lily Evans" he smiled "But what did you mean that you originally wanted to ask this person if they wanted to go to the ball with you?" 

"Exactly what I said, I hadn't planned to ask you, but I was pretty sure you would ask, Remus told me something like that" 

James blinked twice. Remus, that damn bastard, had he really planned all this behind his back? He's just a fucking genius, and he wasn't sure if he should punch Moony in the face or hug him until he couldn't breathe. Everyone always saw in Remus only the nice nerd who likes to help and never has anything to do with the pranks of the Marauders. But in reality he was their mastermind, without remus they wouldn't have managed half of their pranks. And they wouldn't have the map without him. James should have guessed that he was pulling the strings in the background. 

"Strange," he said to Lily "Moons said the same thing to me" 

Lily jumped up "Remus you motherfucking idiot! Come down here right now"

Hey, sorry that I didnt write in such a long time, I just had a lot going on. I accually compleatly forgot about this story and I'm really sorry for that. I'll try to update more regulary from now on. Special thanks to

Without you I wouldn't write right now and I forgot how much I loved writing <3