From Cracked Open Skies - A World in Fluctuation

Chapter 23 - ??? Waits for None

Why did he say that?

Why did he believe that?

No.

Why did he fail once again?

Banri opened his mouth, trying to say something, trying to stop her from leaving. But no sounds came out, even though the words clawed in the back of his throat

Don't go.

He stared at her lonely back as Ai walked out, with movements so mechanical, so unbothered, that it was clear that everything wasn't alright here.

The world was still a blur, and the tears that burned his eyes did nothing to help it, but in that moment, he could see it. A hairline crack in her mask, revealing the lacerations of grief and betrayal that laid underneath. The crack that he caused, and the crack that he made no attempt to mend.

He closed his eyes, sinking further into the hospital bed. Hot, salty tears were wiped away by his hands, as he bit down on the bedsheets to stop his cries from coming out. It was hard to breathe, and his chest hurt, lungs heaving and heart pounding. In the darkness that Banri shut himself in, it was becoming clearer and clearer.

Nothing about him had changed at all.

No matter how hard he tried, he was unable to shed himself of his bystander nature.

And because of his personal failure, it didn't matter at all how strong he became.

He was still a bystander, unable to take the role of a hero.

Even when given so many more opportunities than he deserved.

And, as Banri sank into silence, it watched him.

--

He had a friend before, a girl the same age as himself, a neighbor who liked playing with insects. Back when they were both toddlers, still not old enough to go to elementary school, they would play in the park, swinging around sticks and chasing butterflies with the violent, cruel innocence that only children could have. It was fun, frolicking in the sun until the grass bled orange and dark azures claimed the sky. He could no longer recall her name or face, but he remembered her smile, a lopsided, toothy thing that revealed her overbite.

It wasn't pretty, but it was funny.

Funny, in a self-depreciating way.

Because children were violent and cruel in a way that only children could be, Banri failed to notice that was happening until it was too late.

There was a clear line between harmless pranks and blatant bullying, but he didn't see it at all.

No, he had chosen not to see it, because, even though they were friends and neighbors, he didn't want to get involved. Whenever she cast a half-hopeful, half-pleading glance in his direction, silently asking for help, he had looked away. It was frightening, putting an end to bad things, even though he fantasized about being a superhero all the time.

Reality wasn't kind, and society was cutthroat.

Banri, even as a child, instinctively knew that he would be plunged into the same kind of hell that his friend was in if he helped her.

He didn't want to suffer.

So he turned around and pretended that he hadn't seen what was behind him.

And before he knew it, she disappeared from his life.

The teacher said that she had transferred because of her parents' new jobs.