Venting

Why Would Anyone Want To Date Me

Am I the only one who questions why people would want to date me? Like, bruh, if you were to date me, you'd have to deal with crackhead energy, forgetting to respond back to shit, spacing out, fangirling(I'd try to keep this under wraps until about maybe a month in the relationship if I haven't already told you beforehand that I am a fangirl), me feeling like ass in the blink of an eye, making sure I don't end up kms, me being clingy, (to quote Bean from Disenchantment) "I'm needy and unstable,", random outburst of whatever the fuck is going on in my brain, ADHD paralysis (cause there's no fuckin way that bitch is going away completely), indecisiveness, RSD(Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria), and emotion regulation.

That barely scratches the surface.

I, personally, am a sex-repulsed ace spec person. On the ace spec, I land on aegosexual: I don't wanna have sex with anyone, but I love reading smut. If you wanna date me, be ready to give up sex(if you're interested in that) 'cause, hunny, it ain't happenin'. The only things I want on a relationship are hugs, cuddles, and kisses. Even then, I'll tense up when it comes to surprise human contact. You'll hear me repeat stuff to you 'cause I forgot I told you. I'm also overly apologetic. You'll hear me bitch about my childhood a lot, especially if you're awake from 12am to 3am(I usually crash somewhere in between there). My hyperactivity will keep me awake for hours on end, and I usually ignore my ADHD meds. I've got a very rare type of epilepsy, Jeavons Syndrome, so you might have to deal with seizures, and I might forget to take my epilepsy meds, which I need in order to function on a daily basis. I forget about things constantly, and sometimes, I'll ignore the alarm(s) that I have on my phone to remind me. I'll get really interested in something for a little while, then instantly get bored of it. You'll hear me reference different shows, movies, animations, comedians, songs, musicals, plays, memes, comic strips, and conversations I've either overheard(never on purpose. My brain likes to zone out, and then I hear every single conversation near me) or taken part of. I'm very sensitive to sudden loud noises, so my brain is always on alert. I physically hurt myself(punch) whenever I start to cry because of childhood trauma. I can't completely control my tone because I forget to keep an eye on it(I'm working on it).

I guarantee you that I'm forgetting some things, but these are the ones that instantly come off the top of my head.