Accidentally In Love

25.

Derek

I have to admit. Even after being a doctor for as long as I have... You just never get used to vomit, and more importantly, vomit being uploaded all over the front of your favorite shirt. I had no idea what was going on with Meredith these days, I was working my ass off trying to show her the effort I had in this relationship and she wasn't budging, pushing me to try harder, and now my efforts were causing her to feel so repulsed that she threw up all over me?

I needed some kind of explanation, but I wasn't getting that either. I tried to follow her into the house that night, to help her and maybe take a shower myself but she shooed me away, of course that wouldn't stop me. But Steph interceded and threatened me with the bitchface, and if anyone knows the bitchface at all you know that you don't mess with the bitchface.

So I got in my car and tried not to breathe as I drove home and shed my clothes at the door, promising to burn them the next chance I got before headed to the shower and then to bed, where I didn't get much sleep. I laid awake and racked my brain as I tried to figure out what I could do, what I did do, well other than the obvious. I get it, I really do, I'm not a stupid man-for Christ sake I'm a brain surgeon! I was with two women at the same time, and I was a coward and if I had seen what I'd been doing I'd have called myself and outright pussy for going at it as long as I did.

There was one woman for me, there's always been only one woman for me, and Meredith was it. I can't really come up with a justifiable explanation for my actions, I did it, plain as day. And I'm sorry, now more sorry than ever. All I could think about as I laid in bed staring at the ceiling in the dark was if Meredith was ok, did she need help, did she need someone to hold her hair to get her water, to rub her back. I wanted to call but if there was a chance she was sleeping I didn't want to disturb her.

But if she was awake, and if she was ok, well then for God sake give me some slack! I felt anger swell inside my chest as I tossed and turned until my pager went off at dawn. I got up and gave up on sleep, but despite being risen out of bed at a god awful hour and my wife not talking to me much, luck was on my side that morning. Not only did I walk into a decent surgery, but what junior resident was there waiting for me, but my wife. She looked grim but I didn't care, stuck in the OR with me for the next 4-5 hours she couldn't escape much.

"You're looking well." I smirked as I took the chart from her hands, she grimaced "Ok, maybe not well-well but better. How are you feeling?"

"Better than Mr. Jenkins, I had the nurses prep him for surgery already, we're just waiting for you."

"Hmm." I hummed as I flipped through the chart "How exactly did the knife get stabbed into his skull?"

She smirked and I thought I heard a muffled giggle "Wife got mad at him over something."

I gulped and handed her the chart "You'll scrub in."

"Actually I have rounds with Bailey." She mumbled and shifted uncomfortably.

"Surgery with me trumps rounds, I'll let Bailey know. Go scrub in."

"Derek."

"This is brain surgery." I scoffed and shook my head as I looked around for some distraction to delay my frustration "I know you say you don't like brain surgery but I know just as well as you do that neuro is what you're interested in. So if you can put your petty little games behind you and focus on the fact that I'll be pulling a butcher knife out of a man's head this morning and that it might just be a little more interesting than rounds...join me."

She stood there with her mouth slightly ajar, her eyes filled with shock and a little anger. I felt a little bad about my outburst, but she had to know it was coming eventually. A man could only be held out on for so long.

"Fine. Whatever." She muttered before yanking the chart out of my hands and marching off towards OR 4.

Ok. So maybe the next 4-5 hours wouldn't be as pleasant as I'd hoped. And hour in and I was ready to pull the knife out, I looked up and I saw her looking a little pale as she looked around the room and breathed deeply. She looked ill, but it could have been boredom too, that pissed me off. I was tired of her little games and ready to just get to the point so we could move on.

"Dr. Grey." I called out, her head pulled up and she looked at me "If you aren't too bored over there you can come help me remove this knife."

"Um." She mumbled "Actually I think I'll pass."

Heads whipped around and looked at her, it wasn't like a resident of any sort to turn down such an opportunity, but she was.

"What." I hissed "I realize that you might not be happy with me right now but I'm trying to teach you, as a teacher, I'm offering a student the opportunity that doesn't come every day. Now if you can just put your stubborn hesitations aside and come over here to see how to safely pull a knife from someone's skull.."

"Its not....I..." she stuttered and stumbled. And suddenly the color drained from her face and I realized she really was feeling ill instead of bored.

I saw her collapse to the floor and a few nurses gasped as they tried to catch her. I felt my heart fall on the floor with her and had to keep myself from darting across the room to her seeing as I was in the middle of this man's brain and moving too much would most likely kill him.

"Meredith!" I called out "Meredith what's wrong.. somebody help her!"

I saw Dr. Bailey and Jackson rush into the room with a gurney a second later and I panicked.

"Dr. Bailey tell me what's wrong with her, I want her stats right now!" I demanded and felt as if I was about ready to jump out of my skin with anxiety.

"Ok Dr. Shepherd." She glared as Jackson helped her pull Meredith onto the gurney "I won't know anything until I get her out of here."

"Just help her." I choked out "And give me an update as soon as you can. I mean it Bailey!"

She looked at me like I'd grown a second head right before her eyes as she wheeled Meredith's limp body out of the OR. I knew it wasn't like me to be so gruff with anyone, especially not the Nazi, but the love of my life had just collapsed in front of my eyes and I had no way of helping her, nor knowing what was wrong.. Can you blame me?

I rushed through the surgery, as soon as my patient was in the clear I left it to a fifth year to close up and tore my garb off, scrubbing out as soon as I could. It had been two hours and I hadn't heard from Bailey or Avery, I realize that Meredith and I weren't in the best standing of relationships at the moment but I was still her husband and I deserved some sort of news. I charged the hallway looking in and out of rooms and checked the OR board. A slight sense of relief washed over me when I saw her name absent from it.

I nearly knocked Bailey over as she came out of an exam room and closed the door behind me with a warning glare.

"Is she in there?" I demanded, she put her hand out to say that she'd take me down if I tried to go past her "Bailey, she's my wife!"

"And she's resting." She muttered, her forehead softened and she let out a sigh "She's ok, she's just very dehydrated, and her blood sugar dropped quickly, its what caused her to pass out. A woman in her condition needs to eat more often and not be guilted into a surgery so you can have free talk time with her."

"I'm trying to teach. And she's being stubborn about wanting to learn." I defended "So is she hypoglycemic or something, is it one of those things where she has to eat every two hours. If she'd talk to me I'd know things like this."

"For a brain surgeon you really are stupid." Bailey scoffed. "Think about it."

"Think about what?" I frowned, I literally felt clueless "She didn't eat, she passed out, she's dehydrated from being sick...What am I missing?"

Bailey rolled her eyes and said four words that shifted my world off its axis.

"She's pregnant you moron."

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•
Wait is Meredith really moving to Minnesota?
If that's true to me it makes absolutely no sense...
One more thing that made me not want to Watch Grey's ...
I'm thankful for the famfics and the early season they keep the sparkle awake!
•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•