Love Always

Is this my fault?

Katie POV

We are all sat around the fire and chatting away when I notice Lizzie isn't next to her brother.
"Danny. Where's liz?"
"I don't know mummy"
"Guys, have any of you seen Lizzie?"
JJ points over to the tree at the bottom of Jareds garden and I stand up to see Lizzie sat down there all by herself. Jensen comes over and places his hand on my shoulder.
"Let me go talk to her"
I nod and he walks over, I sit down next to Gen and she hugs me "what's going on?"
"I don't know, she has been like it all day. I don't know what's going on"
"Jensen will get it out of her. He is her favourite after all"
"Yeah maybe"

Jensen POV

I walk over and sit down next to Lizzie by the tree.
"Hey kiddo, your missing the fun"
She doesn't say anything just keeps playing with the grass. I tuck her hair behind her ear.
"Hey, what's wrong princess?"
"Nothing" she says barley a whisper coming from her mouth.
"Lizzie come on it's me, talk to me"
She look up at me and I see tears in her eyes, I scoot closer and wrap my arms around her.
"Why are you crying sweetheart?"
"Why doesn't my dad want me? Everyone else gets to have a dad but me. What did I do to make him hate me?"
I squeeze her tight "sweetheart you didn't do anything. Your dad isn't himself right now and he needs time to fix himself. But that's not your fault any of it"
She wraps her arms around me and I hug her tight as she cries. I see Kate coming walking over, worry on her face.

"Baby girl what's going on?"
Lizzie looks up at her mum and then me. "Do you want me to tell her?"
She nods and I face Kate.
"Lizzie is sad because she doesn't have her dad, she is sad because she feels like she did something wrong to make her dad not want her"
As I'm explaining I see Kate start to tear up, she tries to push it away. She takes lizzies hands and pulls her to her lap.
"Bug, you listen to me okay. You are the most amazing and beautiful little girl okay, you are so smart, kind and caring and there is nothing in this world that would ever make anyone not want you. Your dad is.......messed up and sick and he needs to get better okay. But that's not because of you or anything you've done. I love you so much and so does Uncle Jensen, Uncle Jared, Auntie Gen and Aunite Dee and all the kids. You are so loved okay?"

Lizzie nods and Kate wipes her tears away, she tells Lizzie to go and grab some chocolate cake before uncle Jared eats it all. She giggles and runs off. I look over at Kate and I can see her fighting the tears back. She stands up and looks everywhere but at me "I'll be back in a minute"
Before I can stop her she rushes off.
Dee comes over "what's wrong?"
"She's upset, Lizzie got it into her head it was her fault why her dad isn't around and I think Katie feels responsible for her feeling that way."
"Oh even when he isn't around he is still messing that family up. Go after her Jensen. She needs you"
I nod and rush off to find Katie.

I walk out the front door and she is sat on the porch, staring out at the passing cars.
"Hey"
She doesn't look at me "hey" I can hear in her voice how broken she is. I sit down and wrap my arm around her shoulder. She lays her head on my shoulder and I feel her start to shake. She is crying so much, I move slightly so I can hold her properly. I stroke her hair and kiss her head.
"Hey, it's okay"
"No......no J it's not......I'm her mum.....I'm supposed to make sure she feels loved and to hear that......I'm the worst mum in the world"
I pull back and use my finger to lift her head.
"You are not the worst mum in the world. You have raised those kids by yourself as well as working and earning money to support them. You are one of the most strongest woman I know and those kids love you so very much. You do not take the blame for the dickhead anymore okay?"
"But J...."
"No! Not happening Kate"
She wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me close.
"Thank you"

"You don't have to thank me. I care about those kids so much and you. I just want you to be happy okay"
She nods and pulls away, smiling at me.
"Your kind of perfect do you know that?"
"Me?" I laugh "I'm far from perfect, I have my flaws just like everyone else"
"Well they are hidden very well. I mean it J, you an amazing father, an incredible friend, your handsome, smart and sweet and you just know the right things to say"
I see a loan tear roll down her cheek and before I can think about it, I use my thumb to wipe it away. I stroke her cheek and she smiles at me.

Before I second guess my self, I cup her face and pull her in, I kiss her lips lightly, giving her chance to pull away. I look at her and her eyes flutter open, she reaching around my neck and pulls me back in. The kiss is heated and passionate. I'm kissing Katie. And it feels so right, so unbelievably right. I feel a fire burning in my stomach, a fire I didn't think I'd ever feel again. I pull her onto my lap and she straddles me. Pulling me further into the kiss. We finally pull away, breathless and unsteady. I look into her beautiful brown eyes and she smiles at me.

Before I have a chance to say anything, we hear Jared shouting us. She scrambles off my lap and heads into the house. I sit there for a few minutes wondering what the hell just happened. We kissed and I liked it. But the question is did she? What if I've just ruined one the best friendships I've ever had?