Love Always

6 months later

6 months later

I can't believe we are filming our last few scenes of season 14 today. This is crazy. It feels like only yesterday that we started. We have had a few meetings and we have all decided that season 15 will be our last. We have loved do this for 14 years but we think it's time to move on. We have just finished filming a message to our fans and myself and Jared are in pieces.

This whole cast and crew are so important to all of us and we have all become a family, so for it be to ending has made all of us break.
I look around and notice Jensen isn't on set, I decide to go off and find him.

As I walk up to the trailer, I notice the door is open and he is sat on the steps. He is looking around and I can tell he is upset.
"Hey handsome" I shout walking closer to him.
"Hey beautiful"
I stand in front of him and take his hands in mine.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah just taking some time to process things"
I nod "I know it's hard to believe, one more season and it's done"
He nods and looks to the floor. I kneel on the steps and place my hands on his thighs.
"Look at me"
He lifts his hand and I see tears start to roll down his cheeks.
"Oh baby" I wrap my arms around him and hold him close.

Once Jensen has calmed down we go back to set and film our last few scenes. Once the day is done, we head back to my house.
The kids are already eating dinner and doing there homework.
"Hey sweetie how was your day?"
"Hey momma, it was good. Emotional. We made the announcement today"
"I know. I saw. How are you both?"
Jensen shrugs and joins the kids in the living room.

"He is struggling. He hasn't really fully let his emotions out yet so I'm just letting him process everything"
"It's going to take time for all of you"
I nod "anyway thanks for dealing with the kids today mum"
"No problem. I'm going to have to head out, I have a few things to do"
"Okay. Thank you again mum"
"Love you sweetie, love you kids, love you Jensen"
She shouts through to them and they reply with love yous back.

After dinner and homework, we settle on the sofa and decide to watch a movie. I can Lizzie, staring into space and fiddiling with her fingers.
"Lizzie? You okay?"
"I was just wondering.........."
"Yeah?"
"Are you and uncle Jensen going to get married?"
I look at her shocked, "erm......I don't.......I mean....."
"Someday" Jensen says
I look over at him and he smirks at me and winks.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I love you, you love me. I want this with you"
"But we've only been together 6 months Jensen"
"I'm not proposing now sweetheart"

After the movie. We take the kids to bed and I grab a whiskey and sit outside on the grass. Jensen comes out and sits down next to me.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm just a little shocked you've thought about this"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Well you've been married before J. I didn't think you would want to do that again"
He shakes his head "so because my first marriage didn't work, I'm not supposed to want to get married again"
"No that's not what I meant J. Don't twist my words"

"Katie why is so terrible that I see a future with you, and in that future I see marriage and kids"
"More kids?" I say choking on my drinks.
"Yeah. You don't want more?"
"I mean, between us we already have 5 kids J. That's kind of a lot"
He stands up "so you don't want kids"
"J I have kids"
"Okay. You don't want kids with me?"
"J danny and Lizzie love you like a dad"
"Yeah but I'm not there dad Katie, Remember? Just find it a bit crazy how you can have kids with a physco but you can't have them with me. You know a stable guy"
I look up at him shocked. I can't believe he just said that.

He looks down at me and he suddenly changes his expression from angry to realisation of what he just said.
"Shit! I'm sorry I didn't mean....."
"I think you should go Jensen"
"No. Katie I'm sorry"
"Please just go"
He hesitates before he walks passed me and out of the door. How the hell did this happen? We were so happy and now I don't even know where we stand.