I Wish I Had Her Life

14.

LEA's POV:

I got butterflies inside me. I'm actually with my daughter. And kahit walang blood test, I can feel that she's indeed my daughter. Sa pagkahilig niya sa books, sa pagkahilig niya sa theatre. She even sounded better than me. Of course, her Dad forced me to watch some of her videos. And, you know what? She's sounded like me. And, I like it. I have found my little Lea.

It gets a little bit of awkward, honestly. Hindi ko alam kung paano a-action sa kanya. I don't know if it's going to be too much or too cold. Pero, I'll just wait. I'll just act normally na kikilalanin siya as my friend or pamangkin until she's ready to be my daughter. Don't blame her, I cam from a broken family, as well.

To be quite honest, it really is hard to be a part of the family that you know would never be complete. When my Dad died, I didn't go to the funeral because I really can't forgive the person who've hurted me and my Mom for his own pleasure.

My Mom was the only one who raised me. Kaya ayaw ko sana ulitin ang mistakes ng family ko. But, here I am. For the sake of the career, iniwan ko 'yung mga taong hindi deserve maiwanan.

When I was talking to Aga, it felt like the same. Walang pinagbago, ang sarap pa rin niyang kausap. Ang sarap pa rin niyang titigan. It's just like na parang ganun pa rin kami sa dati. When I'm looking at her, hindi ko pinapahalata para hindi siya magmukhang creepy. But, she's beautiful. Una, makikita mo si Aga sa kanya na parang carbon copy niya ang ama niya.

Pero, her dimples to her side of the chin just like mine, and the talent that she has. No doubt, she's indeed my daughter.

I invited her to eat with me. But, actually ready ako sa kung ano man ang rejection na matatanggap ko sa araw na 'to since she is not yet ready to get to know me. But, I want to let her know that my arms are open for her. It always would be no matter how many times she'll reject my love. I'll keep loving her, anyway. Besides, it's all my fault kung ba't siya nagalit.

I gave her a big smile and she smiles back. Ang sweet ng ngiti niya, ang genuine. Sana, ganito na lang siya lagi. Mas bagay sa kanya ang nakangiti. Ang sarap titigan ng mga mata niya.

She helped me prepare the table and the food and it's nice to hear her calling me Ma.

"What did you just said?" Pagkl-klaro ko ulit sa nangyari.

"I still don't know if I have forgiven you, already. But, I would like you to be my Mom. No matter what it takes, we'll take it slow until then. I l-love you." She got teary-eyed as she was saying all those words that I badly wanted and needed to hear from her. Grabe, I missed my panganay. I have never been so happy like this.

Agad ko siyang niyakap at pinaramdam ko sa kanya ang kalinga ng isang ina. Gladly, she hugged me back and she cling into my arms. What a sweet girl.

"I have a question, tho." Singit niya while we were hugging each other.

"Wala na bang chance na magbalikan kayo ni Daddy?" She looked at me. As much as I wanted to say may chance pa, but I can't. The fact that we're both married.

"We're both married, anak." I looked at her. And, there. Nakita ko ang disappointment niya sa kanyang mata.

"But, Dad didn't love her." She looked at me, and I looked at her curiously. "Dad told me the things about her first love who flew away because of her career. Ni-hindi sumagi sa isip ko na ikaw 'yun way back. Until I have connected the dots." Tingin ulit siya sa akin, "Yeah, I know. You love your husband too, Ma. It's okay. As long as I have you and Dad. I'm content with that." Ngumiti siya and I smile back.

Niyakap ko na lang siya to make her feel that she's not alone. That she has me and her Dad. Not in the expected way, tho. But, we're complete in our own way.

But, yeah. I'm married to a man who my family forced me to for the sake of my career at para na rin tumigil si Aga kakahabol. But to tell you honestly? I still love him, too.