Consuming Shadows

Chapter 4

Hadrian smoothed down the lapels of his blue Beauxbatons blazer and used the moment to take a measured breath. The carriage had landed not one minute ago and he could feel the turmoil in his emotions. It was maddening that he had not even set foot on Hogwarts' soil and already he felt like he had failed.

Gods, his hands were trembling.

Hadrian let his arms drop to his side and clenched them until the tremors dissipated. He felt disgusted at himself for allowing his fear to have such control over him, but bitterly acknowledged that this would hardly be the last time he felt this way.

The knowledge that the Dark Lord was just outside their carriage made him nauseous. The thought that he would be so close to the monster for almost an entire year prompted him flee towards the back of his assembled peers in a childish attempt to prolong the inevitable.

He did not feel even remotely prepared despite having been raised under his mother's careful tutelage and having experience dancing verbally with many influential figures in France. Then again, Hadrian have never dealt with anyone quite like Voldemort before, so maybe he would never be fully prepared.

How utterly depressing.

Someone brushed against him, drawing his attention effortlessly. Raina watched him closely with an expression that spoke of how little she wanted to be anywhere near him. She held out a delicate hand to him and waited.

He gave her a light grimace. "Can't we switch?" he asked even as he gently grasped her hand and guided it to wrap around his elbow.

"Stop being a child," she snapped, tightening her grip on his arm. Hadrian briefly thanked the designer of their blazer for making it so thick, otherwise he was sure Raina's harpy claws would be sinking into his skin right now. "everyone else has paired. And they are hardly claws."

Hadrian blinked, "Did I say that out loud?"

Raina scoffed but did not answer him, and Hadrian felt a small wisp of amusement when he realised that while Raina had denied the comment on her nails being claws, she did not debunk his 'harpy' jab.

He wondered whether that was intentional or not.

"How are you feeling?" she inquired instead, sounding for the most part disinterested.

Her question gave him pause as he considered exactly what he was feeling. There was a whole storm brewing inside of him right now, and no amount of harmless banter could fully distract him from it. Hadrian had always been an emotional person, he simply had impeccable control over himself most of the time that it was rarely noticed.

He contemplated lying to Raina, playing it casual and deflecting, but there was hardly any benefit to it. So he went with the truth.

"Nervous." He said bluntly, and was rewarded with a look of shock from his female partner. "Angry, I suppose or rather, annoyed. Excited." The last word came out a little mangled he was sure, since he had not meant to even say it. He paused again before giving Raina one last one. "Scared."

There was none of the usual mocking in her gaze. If anything, she seemed fascinated at his honesty. "Why are you scared?" She looked genuinely curious and Hadrian felt no harm in sharing his thoughts with the girl.

"Think about it, there is a high chance one of us is going to be dead by the end of the year. Someone that we have grown up with is about to be put in a ridiculous amount of danger because of a figurative pissing match between ministries. I just find it," he searched for the correct word, "prejudicial for everyone."

"How so?"

Hadrian gave a shrug. "There is a whole list of things that could go wrong, incidents that could virtually destroy our international relationships. The number one being the death of a champion. There are so many precautions being put in place to ensure the champions do not die, but these challenges are still going to be dangerous. The death of a champion would have so much political backlash. Especially if it is either ours or Durmstrang's, because Minister Malfoy's whole speech to revive this hinged on the protection of the champions."