Return What Was Lost

Chapter 25

Julian was leaving for break today. His last exam had come and gone which he was thankful for. Between all that had happened and the stress of having to go back home, Julian could barely focus on his exams. However, now that they were over, Julian knew what he had to do before he left. He had to talk to Nikki. He couldn't leave for break without telling her the secrets that had been piling up.

As Julian walked over to the girl's side of the dorm, he noticed Avery sitting on a bench with Merriwether and Coach. She seemed upset and once again Julian had to fight the urge to go over and comfort her. Not yet, he needed to do the right thing first.

Julian went upstairs and knocked on Nikki's door. She happily answered the door for him.

"Hey, Julian," she said. "What did you think of the math final?" she asked as he followed her in. "I think I barely passed."

"Tolerable," he answered as she continued packing for break.

He watched her pack a moment longer. So oblivious, so unaware of the bad things in this world. Julian knew how perfect her life was, a happy family at home, talented basketball player, she never suffered, not really anyway. Nikki lived life thinking that all bad things happened because a person deserved it. She didn't understand that bad things happened for no reason sometimes. She wouldn't understand what Julian was going to say to her.

"Listen, Nikki, we need to talk," he said seriously.

She looked over at him. "What's up?" Nikki asked casually.

Julian took a deep breath. "I've made a lot of mistakes. I know that you know that. I know you watched me hurt girl after girl and never care about the outcome of my actions."

Nikki's eyebrows furrowed. "Julian, where is this going?"

He sighed. "I want to break up, not because you did anything wrong, but just because I need to do what's right."

She stared at him for a moment as shock settled over her face. "What?" she asked in a small voice. "Why?" she questioned.

It was Julian's turn to stare at her. Did she really think the two of them were working out? Julian could not even remember the last time they did anything alone together, much less anything intimate.

"Why?" she repeated a little angrier this time.

Julian took a step back. His eyes drifted to Avery's side of the room but he quickly looked away and back at Nikki.

"I just don't think it's going to work," Julian said quietly.

"Well clearly you have a reason why, so tell me," she demanded.

"I don't think it's worth hearing," he muttered.

"I beg to differ," Nikki said angrily. "Just tell me. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything, not really anyway," Julian tried to explain.

"Then what is it?" she demanded.

"Nothing!" Julian protested.

"Tell me!" she cried out.

"You're not Avery!" he blurted back exasperatedly.

Silence. Julian regretted saying it almost instantly.

"Nikki, I'm really sorry," he said.

She stared at him. The hurt was clear in her eyes.

"Avery?" she asked. "Avery?" she repeated angrily.

Julian refused to look at her, his eyes were focused on the floor.