Salvation BoyxBoy (Under Major Editing)

New Arrangements

Kevin Costner as Levi's Father

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"Tomorrow?" I said to myself, a sudden a feeling of uncontrollable happiness swelled in my chest and I ran into the house laughing with a broad smile; I felt tingly all over and it felt so good to laugh again. I laid there with my eyes closed, grinning ear to ear while trying to stop giggling. When I finally stopped I wiped the tears from my face and let out a huge sigh. I felt like a girl that just got her first kiss or something. I gave my pillow one last squeeze and sat up, only to come face to face with my destroyed room. The more I looked at it, the smaller my smile got and the more the fear inside me bloomed up raging uncontrollably instead me. My books were everywhere, there were several dents in the wall, and the overpowering smell of alcohol filled my nose; I turned around and saw the stain of tequila on the wall and shards of glass everywhere. The pain from my wrist suddenly returned and I looked at my sleeve, then at my bed. I saw a blood stain and I felt a wave after wave of fear and quickly found myself curled up on my bed, trembling with tears falling down my face. I tried pushing the memories away, but they kept coming back. I laid there for a while, trying to compose myself, telling myself everything was going to be ok; but that did little, I felt as though I was reliving last night.IThe scene played over and over in my head, even when I finally got up and began cleaning up my room. I constantly shook my head trying to get rid of the memory, thinking of how I was going to see Ray again tomorrow, which made me feel better. I finished cleaning my room and slowly stepped downstairs in case my dad was home. I blew out a sigh of relief when I found out I was alone and quickly started on dinner. I always kept ingredients in stock so a fresh meal was cooked every night. I felt a soothing peace come over me as I was cooking and I was finally completely calm and composed. Something about cooking just soothed me, I really enjoyed it, and I always felt a sense of pride and accomplishment when I finished, but I didn't know whether I should pursue it as a career. I was afraid if I did, then I would grow weary of it because it would be so demanding for perfection and style, and I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough for the world of high class chefs.
As I stood leaning against the kitchen side eating, I began to replay the car ride with Ray. I honestly didn't known what he was thinking, I didn't know why he defended me, and I didn't know what he thought when he saw my black eye and the blood on my sleeve, honestly, I was kinda afraid of what was going to happen tomorrow. I was afraid he may ask too many questions of something, or maybe this was some kind of mastermind plan to embarrass me or something. Yes, I was being paranoid, but I was only considering the possible outcomes. I never was able to trust people easily, well, I never actually talked to many people, even when I was a child, and my teachers brought it up on multiple occasions to my father, he be the two-faced ass he was, pretended to listen and act like a loving concerned father, but little did my teachers know, when he got home, his rage switched on, and I came to school with bruises under my clothes. The older I got, the more abusive he was, and the more he drank. My relatives came over sometimes to help take care of me, and I enjoyed that, but they didn't really know what was going on when they weren't here, they stopped coming when I was three, and I haven't seen them in 5 years ago, instead they only called, and in that case, my father talked to them and pretended that everything was fine and I was doing great. The only thing I was actually doing great at was my grades. I had a lot of free time on my hands, so I usually resorted to studying, especially when I couldn't sleep. I finished eating and washed the dishes, hung up my apron, and went to take a nice hot shower. As I stood there with my eyes close letting the hot water pelt my face, I began worrying once more about tomorrow. Where was I supposed to meet him? What am I supposed to say? I shook the thoughts away. I was worrying to much about it, I decided to just let things flow, see where they go, and intervene only when things started getting close to the danger zone. I stepped out of the shower and inspected myself in the mirror; I always did this to see the progress of my healing after beatings from my father. I quickly inspected myself finding the usual dark bruises on my body, the only thing that was out of place was out of the norm was the black eye and the vague hand marks on my throat. I quickly turned around and closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could never stand looking at my body, seeing the bruises and scars of abuse from my father and myself inflicted scars repulsed me. I quickly slipped on shorts and a t-shirt and stepped out of my room to see if my father was home yet. He wasn't and I immediately went into my closet for something that I haven't used in a while. After a few minutes I found what I was looking for; an electronic piano. It wasn't much but it was all I could afford, but it substituted nicely. I never learned how to read music, I learned songs by listening and then figuring out which keys to press and simply remember them. I only made one piece, and that was what I wanted to play. I pressed a few keys and began, after a minute the awkwardness melted away and I allowed myself to drift away from reality and become absorbed in the music. The piece was slow, sad, depressing really, but it was a way I could healthily express how I felt. When I could, I usually pulled it out and simply played till I had my fill or my fingers ached. I played the piece over and over again, till I grew tired and switched it off and stored it away in the dark depths of my closet, clicked off the lights, and slipped under the covers. I laid there in deep thought while biting my lower lip, a habit I gained over the years, and feared for tomorrow. I was confused really, but who knows, maybe he's just being nice. I kept thinking about tomorrow till I feel asleep.