Salvation BoyxBoy (Under Major Editing)

Chapter 12

I am using Eva Mendes as Rosaline Gutierrez

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"Sorry that I'm such a burden..." I whispered in the dark. I listened to his steady breathing as his gentle heartbeat slowly carried me off to sleep. I knew that he loved me, and I knew that he wanted to be with me, but I couldn't help but feel that I was such a burden on him. I didn't want to weigh him down in any way, or disrupt his life at all. Was my presence good or bad? Was I doing the right thing by staying with him? He said I changed him, but I didn't know whether he was telling the truth or not. Then again, Ray must have been honest. Not once has he lied to me about anything. He said he loved me for me, and he thought I was beautiful, and all this he proved. He did not grimace when I was naked; instead he stared with lust and adoration. He kept his promise that he would be there for me, and he proved that when he was there for all my breakdowns. He kept all his promises and said he was happy to be with me but....why couldn't I shake the feeling that I was hurting him? I wanted so bad to know whether I was hurting him or not, but I knew he would say that I wasn't, the only problem is that I didn't know whether he would lie about that, or tell the truth. I laid there as my body begged for sleep, but my mind wouldn't. I had too much to think about, my thoughts were scattered as usual, and I was busy trying to collect them in a neat pile. It was as though someone turned an enormous fan in front of my neat little stack of papers that I finished sorting. Finally, I gave in, and let out a long sigh as I finally fell asleep.

I felt my eyes slowly open as my brain signalled my body that it was time to get up and ready for school. I awoke to a strange feeling, something today felt a bit off. I closed my eyes again and blindly groped for Ray's body, but only to find empty sheets next to me. I flipped over and stared at the empty spot on the bed next to me, wondering where in the world he went at this time of day. I slowly sat up and trembled under the covers as the chill swirled around my exposed skin from where the sheets have left. After rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I looked over at Ray's pillow to find a neatly folded piece of paper. I cocked my head and stared at it with a flare of curiosity rising in my mind. I slowly took the note and unfolded it, and read the unmistakable handwriting of Ray Matelli.

"Morning babe, went out for a morning jog, see ya soon! I love you!" I read softly to myself. I just couldn't help but smile while reading it, Ray always made me smile, regardless of how I was feeling, just the simple thought of him could bring a smile to my lips, besides, I thought him leaving a note was kind of cute. I let out a big yawn and stretched as I slowly stood up and grabbed a robe, making sure the rope was wrapped securely around my waist. I turned around and walked towards the window. The sun was barely peeking over the clouds, giving the sky a beautiful pink and orange glow. Once again, my mind was filled with thoughts of Ray.

"Thank you....thank you so much..." I whispered to myself as a small smile crept to my lips. I didn't know who or what I was thanking, I just felt the need to thank someone, be it god, my mother, or the world itself, I just felt the need to thank someone for allowing Ray to be in my life. Without him, I would still be living the nightmare that he pulled me out of a few days ago. I opened my eyes and stared outside for a few more seconds, and then made my way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. I prowled around the kitchen in search for cereal to tame the roar of my stomach, I didn't want to eat eggs and what not every day, the last thing I needed was a heart attack. After a few minutes of searching, I finally found a box of cornflakes and sat down and poured myself a bowl of it and began eating. I chewed slowly as I began thinking once again about Rosaline. The thoughts that I locked away for the night escaped and flooded my mind again. They were such a nuisance, a pest, an annoying little bug that wouldn't stop bothering me. Why did I react that way to such a simple touch from Rosaline? I had no recollection of her at all, as far as I knew, that was my first time meeting her, but if that was the case, then why did I have such an impulse to avoid her touch? I shook my head in an attempt to swat away the bothersome thoughts, but they only retreated to the shadows of my mind, only to be brought back into the light later. I breathed out a sigh as I stared into my bowl, still trying the snatch the few thoughts of yesterday that lingered. Just who is Rosaline Gutierrez?