Reign (Book 2)

18

Ava's

In the days that passed, I tried my best to get up out of bed, but the infection had taken control of my body. It was at its peak and I felt like I was dying. I was unbelievably hot, and my skin was wet with extreme perspiration. I had cold flashes, my heart raced and I was fatigued and weak. My body was covered in a horrible blotchy rash and Maester Wolkan said my body temperature was very low at times. My wrists were aching but the leaking eventually stopped from the wounds. The Maester changed my dressings every day, I couldn't look at him, I couldn't even look at Ramsay. This happened to me and it was all my fault. They had done everything in their power to find me, when I had been stupid enough to leave Winterfell by myself. My fever broke eventually, after what felt like forever. I didn't feel much better, just less sick and trembling.

My love for Ramsay made me do it, the thought of his body being left to rot made me feel ill. In life or death, I needed him in Winterfell, we had spent eighteen years together and I wasn't ready to be apart. I had never felt relief like when he held me in his arms after being kept locked away and beaten and raped. When I found out that he wasn't dead it gave me hope, I wanted to live again. He promised he would always find protect me, and once again he fulfilled that promise. He hadn't touched me since I had my stitches changed. Not even a hand on my shoulder or a kiss on my lips. Ramsay knew I was broken, and even he didn't know how to fix me this time. I thought I could save him from eternal loneliness, but he was never even dead. I shouldn't have doubted him, we wouldn't be in this position if I didn't. He wouldn't die out there, he was too clever, too fast and too cunning.

"Hello Lover." He slipped around the door. I looked at him, he looked a little older than he did before. His eyes were slightly sunken in and surrounded by dark circles. He had some silver hairs mixed in with the thick dark hair on his head, but he looked as handsome as he did when I first met him. His facial hair was still dark, and his beautiful blue eyes pierced into mine. He was perfect for being forty one years old. "Hello Ramsay." I tried my best to smile warmly, but I could only manage a weak one. "How are you feeling?" He asked me, sitting down on the edge of our bed. I looked into his eyes, we stared at one another for a moment before he outstretched towards me. I flinched slightly as his warm hand pressed against my forehead. "I'm doing better, my fever has broken, I'm only going to get better now." He softened slightly. "That's a relief, I'm glad. For those first few days I thought I'd lost you for good." His hand dropped from my cheek to the bed beside me, his other hand stretched over and sat on the mattress on my left side.

"I think it's time I start staying in here again, with you. Don't you agree?" He asked me. Under the Maester's instructions, Ramsay had been sleeping in another chamber. I don't know whether it was to give me space and time to heal, or he agreed simply because he couldn't look at me or my battered body, but I knew that I wanted him back sleeping beside me. His presence made me feel so much safer. I hadn't been sleeping very well, but when I did,  it was full of terror and the memories kept replaying in my head. When I was younger, before I left Winterfell with my father, I had always told myself that I wouldn't rely on a man for anything, and that I definitely wouldn't need them to do the most simple of things. But I needed him, I always had and I would until the day I died. I needed to feel the heat coming off of his body or to feel his beating heart behind me. I needed him to feel safe. "Please come back." I whispered back. He had no idea how bad the dreams were, or even that they existed but I knew they would go away when I had him.

"I need my own bed, and you need me too, Ava." He pressed a kiss to my lips. "I don't want us to be apart any longer." I leant forward and I wrapped my arms around his middle, clinging onto him for dear life. "I've missed you." He stated. "I've missed you too." I replied. He kept his right hand on the bed to support himself, but he wrapped his left arm around me. He brought me back to life. "You need to get on your feet Ava, show them who's winning." I knew he was right, but I was so tired still. He pulled away from me and got to his feet, holding his hand out to me. "I will one day soon, I don't feel well enough just yet." I tried to reason, but he had other ideas and didn't want me to be like this forever. "Come and stand up with me." His face was soft as his voice, but I could tell that he wasn't asking. I pushed myself to the edge and put my feet on the cold wooden floor. I took his still outstretched hand and I stood up. My legs were shaking and they felt so weak, but Ramsay was right and I would lose my strength if I stayed in bed. My joints clicked and cracked as they straightened up.