serenity | h.s | ON HOLD

eighteen.

Sarita.

"Hello? Earth to Sarita?"

I blink my eyes a few times to bring me back to the current place that I was in, sitting across the bar from a very confused looking Aria. I had made the choice to come spend this random Wednesday night at Sultana's with both her, Hazel, and of course my mom. It had been no longer than just thirty minutes since I got here, but I spent the majority of the first half with my mom, asking how the night had gone so far and whatnot. This used to be something I would do pretty often back a few months ago, all before Harry came around.

I would be a damned liar if I told you that the only reason I was at Sultana's tonight was because I missed my friends. A part of me was also distancing myself from Harry, and thankfully the universe had been on my side assisting me so far. It had been nearing the forty-eight hour mark since I'd last seen him, and I was quietly grateful for Juliette keeping him busy. He and I had only shared a few text messages to one another of course, but nothing more than that.

After that night out on the field, the pull that I already felt towards him grew even stronger, wanting me to wrap myself around him and never let go in both the literal and poetic sense - and that terrified me. Just as ridiculous as I felt on the inside, I was acting just as worse on the outside. Pathetically begged to spend the night just so he could hold me tight in his grasp, needing to touch him in any which way I could, and all because he had me seeing stars underneath the Earth's very own.

The thought that brought me to an immediate panic was the idea of losing myself completely to a person and forgetting about everyone else who came before them. Now I know I hadn't completely discarded my friends and family, but what if they thought that I was ignoring them for this man whom I had only known a few short months? Just the thought of that made the palms of my hand go clammy.

Just as if she could sense the nerves starting up in my system, my peripheral vision takes notice of the medium sized glass cup being slid my way, courtesy of a softly smiled Hazel. Before downing the shot of what I can smell is tequila, I shoot her a small, tight lipped smile in gratitude for her gift.

"Everything alright, S?" she asks as she leans her body against the bar, using her elbows to hold her up.

As if on cue, Aria quickly joins her in a similar position after she dries her hands on a hand towel before throwing it over her left shoulder. Taking my bottom lip in between my teeth, I suck in a harsh breath before blowing it out. God, I felt like I was already being so dramatic over nothing, I should just pre-

"Ri, you're scaring us," Aria's voice cuts in just as my mind was beginning to wander again, "it's just us here, you're okay."

She was right - it was just her and Hazel, two of my best friends. Why was I so afraid to just talk about how I was feeling?

Before I even dare go on another ramble in my mind, I finally say, "It's Harry."

"Harry?" They both say at the same time, brows furrowing in as the confusion immediately arises, "Is he okay?"

Shaking my head quickly to dust off any concern of his well being, "Yeah no, he's okay, nothing is wrong with him. "

"Then what is it?" Aria asks softly, and I can tell she's doing her best to stay calm. My eyes look over at both hers and Hazel's, being reminded even more that they're both focusing on me and me only, and that they are indeed here to keep me calm.

"It's uh, it's me. I just feel like I've been spending too much of my time with him and him only, and I don't want anyone to think that I'm ignoring them now that we've been hanging out."