Vengeance: DARK MAFIA ROMANCE

Nineteen

Natalia

Gauzy white curtains brush against my arm, stirred by the balmy Mediterranean breeze. Sun warms my back, seeping through my pale green linen dress, but under my skin I feel ice cold. I've never seen Savio look so lost, like whatever he's used to anchor himself for his whole life is broken and drifting away.

I'm already convinced that my stupid lunch date ruined whatever chances we had. What did he see in me, sitting across the little table from him eating chicken carbonara, that repulsed him so much? I half wondered if he was going to throw himself into the sea to get away. The tears I've been holding back ever since we docked are clawing at the back of my throat. I had no idea how much it would hurt to lose him.

Savio shifts on the bed and speaks my name. Even though his face looks like he's at a funeral, the tone of his voice stirs my hope. I cross the room to him, pausing to tug off my dusty sandals. The soft, colorful rug massages my tired feet. I stop in front of him and try to put my hand on his shoulder. My heart stops as he gently shrugs me off.

"I need you to understand something, Natalia." He sounds tired. I'm nervously folding and unfolding the fabric of my dress, pinching and rubbing my fingers against the lightly textured cloth, waiting. His voice isn't cruel, but it's hard and complicated. "I'm not your little high school sweetheart. I'm not some college freshman who takes your virginity after a party. I'm not even a nice coworker who asks you to coffee, meets your parents, buys you a puppy."

Before he can even finish, tears are pooling in my eyes, my mouth trembling. I just want to touch him, to hold onto him so he can't disappear into the distance. His eyes are flickering across my face, trying to read every story written there. I feel a tickle on my palm and realize he's gripping my hand in his large, rough one, squeezing so tightly it almost hurts.

"I want you, Natalia. But before you accept me, I need you to see and understand exactly what I am." A troubled expression mars his face for a moment, but he forces it away. "We'll fall apart if we aren't honest. I'm not a good man. I'm not a gentle lover. My entire life is defined by hate and violence. I..."

His voice cracks, and his hand in mine wavers. I can see, hidden behind all his other thoughts and feelings, an indescribable pain that would scare me if I didn't carry its twin. I pull my hand free and wrap my arms around his head, pulling his face against my stomach, stroking his hair. After a moment, he relaxes, pressing his weight into me until it takes all my strength to hold him. Tears are running down my face, but I don't have any way to wipe them.

He's right. I've been holding him at arm's length, trying to tame him before I let him into my life. But I'm realizing now that I'd rather have him destroy me than stay safe and whole without him. "Show me," I whisper, trembling. My body rebels against the idea of letting go of all the safety I've worked so hard to achieve. "Show me who you really are."

Pulling out of my arms, he stands up, towering over me, a wall of muscle and magnetism. He puts his hands on either side of my head, swiping his thumbs against my wet cheeks. "I want you to choose a word, Natalia. Something we never talk about."

Confused, I glance around the room. The only word that comes to mind is the word I think whenever I look at him, especially when he doesn't know I'm watching. "Wolf?"

For the first time today, he smiles genuinely. "You're cute." Then he immediately sobers again. He bends down so that our eyes are even, hands still holding my head still. "Do you know what a safe word is?"

I wrinkle my nose. "Uh, like 'red'?"

"Fucking BDSM romance novels," he growls, and I can't help but laugh. He shakes his head and squeezes my face gently. "I'm going to go all the way. I'm going to show you every part of me. I'm not going to stop. But if it's really too much, just say 'wolf.' I won't punish you for it. Do you understand?"