[a short story about letting go, complete at 8k words ]
Wheelchair-bound and dream crushed, Esme Lance gives life one last chance, but at that, all she can do is sit back and watch Devon Zachary die.
Devon Zachary made me feel alive. His touch was as smooth as wax as his nimble fingers caressed my hair. Beauty made him pure. Whenever we were together for classes, I'd let my eyes wander to his heart's deepest depths and I would find a blue crystalline of lies and truths.
He lied to me when he said that he was going to be fine. He was going to die and he lied to me that he wasn't. That he was sure the doctors said he had a chance of survival.
Devon was wrong.
So wrong.
I don't want him to die. It's like God is punishing me for my sins.
He lied to me when he said that cancer was curable and I believed him because I was stupid.
It shows how little I know about cancer patients. I didn't know he had to go through a lot of treatment, and that he never came to school because he was always away.
I wish cancer never existed. I wish people didn't have to feel what I felt, the hollowness of my heart. I wish our world was better. I sometimes wish God was real, like really there to help us out. I wish we were true to ourselves.
I wish Devon would live.
━━
Devon is crouching on the soft grass in front of me, his hands are on either side of the handles and his face is so close to me that I can feel his breath.
"Can I kiss you?" he asks, his blue eyes are searching my face.
I want to kiss him.
But I don't want it to feel like a goodbye.
I lean in first, letting my body slide off the leather seat. Somewhere where my legs used to be, there's a shiver. My fingers tremble as I hold his collar for dear life.
I feel like I'm floating. My stomach is lightless.
Devon pulls away quickly.
"I've never kissed a girl," he says, his eyes fluttering.
"Have you kissed boys then?" I ask.
"Once, yes" He turns his head away shyly.
My heart slams against my chest. Maybe that day when he kissed me for the first time, he was not as delighted as me. Maybe that's the reason he was never too intimate.
Well, I'm glad now that I know.
The onlookers at the cafe look over us as they talk among themselves. Devon is still crouching in front of me, his confession making me feel cared for.
I don't care if he likes boys or girls or both because I only care that I'll love him forever.
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