[a short story about letting go, complete at 8k words ]
Wheelchair-bound and dream crushed, Esme Lance gives life one last chance, but at that, all she can do is sit back and watch Devon Zachary die.
I could cry right there, my tears welled up right there. My throat was pinched and you didn't take your eyes off me. I didn't want to swim in them anymore, I wanted to die in them, I wanted to be gone forever. My chest seized and my throat reacted to it, a strangled sob left my mouth and I swallowed heavily. You were about to die and I couldn't take it.
"Don't die, Devon. Please don't" I said between my sobs.
"Not my choice Esme, it's the way it is. I'm sorry"
The Emergency ward became crowded. I got lost in the sea of nurses and doctors. Devon was not near me anymore.
After our little escape into the next town, Devon seemed quite happy. But he phoned Ruston after our little kiss, telling him that he wanted to be taken home, along with me.
We were in Ruston's car in less than fifteen minutes. He drove and didn't stop glancing at Devon in the rearview. His eyes were concerned and his jaw muscles were tight.
The following morning was a disaster. Devon was taken to the hospital. His parents said goodbye. He said his last words to me. Ruston never left his side.
Before we knew it, Devon Zachary was one in the stars, literally.
I relived the moment. That terrible day of my life, when my father was buried under the ground next to my granddad's grave.
They did my dad's funeral after I got discharged from the hospital which took almost a month and a half.
That day how I sat in my wheelchair, feeling uncomfortable because the smell of new leather and antiseptics made me dizzy and I couldn't breathe.
And today, it's someone I love but who doesn't love me back. It's someone who is as precious as the stars above. A boy of seventeen with no hair but brilliant eyes and a brilliant laugh.
━━
His funeral is simple. His parents are not bawling their eyes out. They knew he was a goner. Some of our classmates are here with sad smiles. The school didn't decide to show up because they too knew Devon Zachary was a goner.
I didn't want to believe that he was a goner. I wanted him to be alive by some miracle like in those movies.
But deep inside me, I knew they were not true.
You'd die one day.
And Devon's day was today.
Ruston is leaning against a tree, hands in his pockets. I wonder what he's thinking right now. He's probably reminiscing about their moments together, his best friend just died and would it hurt him more than me? Am I supposed to feel only this much emotion? My tears are silent because I want them to be but should I get up on the stand and say into the mic that Devon was the boy I loved?
The boy I still love? The boy that made my heart feel special?
He told me he liked me at the hospital.
His words still ring inside my ears, it's like a song with no autotune, a song with no lyrics, a lullaby that's hauntingly beautiful.
The people around disappear gradually, leaving their flowers by his tombstone.
I roll my wheelchair through the dry grass and Ruston beckones at me from beside the tree.
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