I Miss You: Caitlyn's Journey

Chapter 9: Best Friend

"Julika?"

"Hey Caitlyn, you sound like crap. What's going on?" I chuckled at how unafraid she was to tell the truth.

"I honestly don't know." I sighed.

"Oh my gosh Caitlyn are you ok?!" I heard Emily over the line.

"Hey Em. I'm ok."

"Well, fill us in already!" Ricky shouted. I was surprised to hear his voice.

"She was going to before you two idiots interrupted her." Julika reprimanded them. They all started fighting like little children. As horrible as all of this was-and it was horrible-it was nice to hear from my friends.

"Ok guys, relax. I'll catch you up." They all shut up immediately. "So once I figured out you guys were gone I started freaking out but this nice old lady named Rose helped me. She calmed me down and told me she'd help me with whatever I need. Then James, some amazingly hot guy that's a major jerk turned out to be her grandson. Anyway he said I could stay with him and-"

"Woah woah woah," Ricky interrupted me. "You're living with an amazingly hot guy?" Ricky said protectively. I smiled.

"That's also a major jerk. Plus, we aren't alone. His grandma Rose and his 4 siblings live with us." I heard Ricky audibly sigh. "Anyway, James and I were on our way to the mall so he could buy me clothes when someone shot at us. The car got out of control and flipped over and James and I had to go to the hospital. But we're ok now. I just have to tell the car thing to the police and we'll be released." They were silent for a long time.

"You got shot at?" Emily said tearfully. It made me sad to hear her voice shake like that.

"They weren't shooting at me, they were bank robbers. They got into a scuffle with the police or whatever they are here and we just got caught in the crossfires." I said, trying my best to reassure them.

"Guys, we should let her rest, she's had a long day." Julika told them.

"Wait Julika, are we alone?" I asked her.

"Uh yeah, it's just me. Why?"

"So there's something I left out. About James." I heard her walk away.

"Spill."

"So, since we've been essentially living together, he's been a lot nicer to me. Which has made for a lot of...moments between us. Moments that have been confusing me. And this morning, he kissed my cheek." I blushed thinking about the time I've had with him.

"Well, that's...great." I definitely heard the pause in her voice.

"But?"

"It's just that we all thought you were into Ricky." I sighed. She's right.

"I am into Ricky. I didn't say I like James." I avoided it.

"Ok, then why are you telling me about him?"

"I...I don't know." I bowed my head in shame.

"It's ok to like him. You and Ricky aren't together."

"I-I know."

"Then why can't you admit that you like him?"

"I guess it's because even though Ricky and I aren't together, he's been the one I liked for so long. I guess it's hard for me to accept that there are others. I spent so long worrying about what Ricky thought about me that I don't know how to be enough for anyone else." I sighed.

"Caitlyn?" Julika asked me.

"Yeah?"

"That's a load of crap and you know it." She said bluntly. I was shocked by her words but she wasn't wrong.

"Oh."

"What's the real reason?"

"That is the real reason! I don't know how to like someone else. I've never done it before. I've never been to another country before and now I'm stuck here and I may never go home. And now I'm getting a new crush? It's like if I admit that I like James, I have to admit that there's a part of me that doesn't want to leave an-" I stopped when I realized what I was saying. "There it is."

"There it is." Julika repeated.

"I guess my wanting to stay could...complicate things. I don't want to be without you guys but I don't want to be without James either. Plus, he has a life here. He has friends, a family, an Ava." I said her name in a sarcastic bad Australian accent and sucked my teeth.

"Who's Ava?" Julika teased.

"His hot, kind, tall best friend that he grew up with."

"Oh yeah, don't you hate it when the person you like has a hot, kind, tall best friend of the opposite sex?"

"Exactly!" I shouted. "Oh.." I realized she was talking about me and Ricky. "Well, but that's totally different."

"Oh, is it?" Julika called me out.

"Yeah, Ricky is just-"

"Your amazingly attractive best friend who would do anything for you that you also happen to have been in love with for literal years?" I sighed loudly.

"I'm wrong aren't I?"

"Just a little. But it's ok. You've accepted and owned up to it. Now comes the hard part."

"I know, I know. I have to make a choice." I groaned.

"What? No! What do you think this is, the bachelorette?" Julika laughed at me. She rendered me speechless. "I meant now you have to keep falling in love with this guy knowing that you'll have to leave him."

"Or, we could keep our relationship completely friendly. Nothing romantic whatsoever." I said, more telling myself than Julika.

"We both know that's not going to happen. And it shouldn't. If you two really care about each other, I say go for it." I was happy and saddened by Julika's advice but I still decided I would follow it.

"And as for the...Ava, I'd say just come right out with it and ask him. It's not like he's gonna lie."

"Thank you so much."

"No problem. And hey, you need to call your parents, they've been driving us crazy asking about you." I grimace. I really should call them.

"Yeah, I will."

"And maybe you know, don't tell them you were in a car crash." We chuckled. Julika hung up. She really is amazing. She's my rock. No, that's not good enough. Julika has been amazing through this whole thing, she's given me hope and strength. Julika really is my best friend.