Heal Me

The Start of It All

It was a horrible life. I repeated to myself for the thousandth time. I truly hated my life and wished I was dead. Well that was before I first laid eyes on my one true love. The only problem was it was slowly killing me and I didn't notice till it was too late.

April 4, 2014 was the day everything seemed to change. My dad beat and abused me after my mother died of lung cancer. Everyday I went to a tree in this field. My mother used to take me to it all the time when I was younger. I sat down and all around me was the touch of softening grass, which was pure green. This spot held a secret behind it. It was where I sliced my wrist for 2 years since the age of 14. Life seemed to get harder as I got older, and the loss of my mother was no help.

"Harmony! Get to school NOW!" My dad said in the distance. I got up and began my journey to the horror we call high school. I had no friends, making me the target of bullying. The other girls laughed at me. Everyday I went in the mirror with my long black hair flowing to my elbows and cried.

"Why am I so miserable, God, why me?!" I just sat in tears in the school bathroom for hours until the principle escorted me back to class. But this day was different. I went to my first class, Art. I loved art just as much as my mother, she was an artist. We were assigned a project. My art teacher, Mr. Grayling, selected our partners. I was with one of the more popular boys in school, his name's Jasper. His girlfriend is one of the bullies I have to suffer with. She is horrible!! Her name is Regan and she's a complete terror. Jasper and me had to sit side by side now that we were working on a project together.

"We can get through this just one project how hard could it be, you just can't mess up I want to get a good grade and if your to sloppy, I'll have no choice but to do it myself." He said. I was in shock I didn't know guys could be this needy.

"Well, Jasper is it, listen, the only one at the stake of messing up here is you, number one I can draw better then you could in years, and number two, I want to get an A too remember that." I said. He looked at me as if he were impressed. I was a little confused, I had just talked back to him. Don't guys hate that?

"Okay everyone you can chat later, but now it's time to get to work," Mr. Grayling started explaining. "You will have four days before you will present the completion of your project. You need to think of what you wish you could stop doing and put all the emotions of that into one painting. Today you will just talk to your partner about what you wish you could stop doing." I thought to myself and it hit me. I did wish I could stop being a victim of depression but I couldn't say that.

"Okay Harmony I'll go first," started Jasper, "This might sound crazy but sometimes I wish I could just be normal, not this popular kid that everyone knows about. I can't even have secrets anymore. Anyway you're the first person I've told this to. So what about you?" He finished.

"Me?" I said with a blank look. Could I tell him about my cuts or would he just blab it to the whole school.

"Nothing really." I said.

"Come on, everyone wants something to end in their life, now what's yours?" He asked again.

"Um......" Just then the bell rang.

"So should I come to your house or do you want to come over?" He asked.

"What?!" I said confused.

"Well, if we want to get this done we have to see each other outside of school." He said.

"Oh, um I don't think that's a good idea." I said then I walked off. The rest of the day he was just watching me in the hallway. It was almost like he was waiting for something to happen to me.

The moment I walked outside Jasper followed. I began to walk faster but he remained 8 feet behind me. Finally I lost him. As soon as I got home my dad beat me because I was wearing shorts. I had handprint bruises all over my thighs. Instantly I ran to the tree. I retrieved my razor from a small pocket in the side of the tree. Then I began cutting away only looking up to cry twice.

"Is this a bad time?" Someone said in the distance. I looked up and it was Jasper.

"Why, did you come here?" I asked, blood still dripping down the sides of my wrist.

"I could tell you were hiding something, I had to follow you home to see what it was. So tell me why you do this?" He said.

"So you followed me home. You can't be here if my dad finds out he'll..." Jasper cut me off.

"He will beat you again right? I saw the whole thing Harmony. He should be put in prison for that! I wanted to go in there and cut off his arms for that. I can see the bruises on your legs." He said.

"I know..." I was stopped by a world of tears. "I can't stop it and calling the police will only make it worse. All I can do is cut! I have no friends and no one who loves me. I've been put in the hospital for suicide attempts 7 times." As I spoke my words came out in a big slur.

"Ok, Harmony, listen I know you may not have anyone in your life to help you, but just know I will help you. If you ever need me just ask. My sister died from suicide a year ago and I can't see the same happen to another." He said.

"Thanks, you have no idea how much this means to me Jasper." I responded, placing my razor back in the tree.

"No problem, now what was it you wish you could stop doing?" He asked.

"Being under depression, I pray I couldn't but I can't help it." I said.

"Well you have me now, listen I have to go but I'll see you at school tomorrow, bye." He turned.

"Bye." I responded

The next day I didn't even want to get up. He saw my cuts! Would he tell the whole school? I was very nervous and went to the tree in the field. But I didn't pull out the razor. I lifted my sleeve to revel what was underneath. I counted 70 cuts on my one arm. I cried a little but then walked my way to school. When I got to the front door of the building I was expecting to hear things like "Why don't you just go cut yourself until your dead" But nobody said anything to me. I went to my locker and there Jasper waited for me. I was just about to turn around when he yelled my name.

"Harmony!" He yelled it to where almost everyone turned.

"What?" I asked as I walked over there.

"So did you, you know what, again?" He asked.

"No, not since yesterday." I said with a tear rolling down my face.

Jasper quickly noticed the tear and wiped it off my face. I looked up at him with my first real smile in years.

"Thank you." I said.

"Listen, do you want to come to my house tonight and maybe work on our project?" He asked.

"Sure, well if my father doesn't flip out about it." I responded.

"Why don't you call him after school and say the teacher wanted us to stay after class to work on the assignment?" Jasper suggested.

"Okay, well we gotta get to class." I said.

"Yeah." He responded taking my hand and running into the classroom.