The Ways Of Escapism

Part 2: First Promise

«Something unexpected seemed to clear away between us..

And, for a second, it seemed like there was absolute no difference in age between us;

Just two men kissing, even this seemed to dissolve as I began to feel we were not even two men, just two beings.

'Till he said:
"Call me by your name
...And I'll call you by mine."

Which I've never done in my life before, and which, as soon as I said my own name, as though as his, took me,
to a realm I never shared with anyone in my life before.

It would finally down on us both
that he was more me than i had ever been myself.

Because when He became Me,
and I became Him in bed,
so many years ago,
he was, and would forever remain, long after every forked road in life had done its work,

My brother

My friend

My father

My son

....My husband

My lover.

Myself

In the weeks we've been thrown together that summer
Our lives had scarcely touched
But we had crossed to the other bank,
Where times stops and heaven reaches down the earth and gives us that ration and,
Of what is from birth to divinely ours.

We looked the other way.

We spoke everything but.

But we've always known, and not saying anything now confirmed it all more.

....We had found the stars, You and I.

And this is given once only.

Twenty years ago was yesterday,

And yesterday was just earlier this morning, and morning seemed light years away.»

If I was gonna remember everything until this day,
then back then i would have spoken to break whatever connection we had.

You would have looked me differently,

I would have looked you the same way.

It didn't change a single thing till this day.

If one leaves another, can't the latter leave the one.

Because you'd leave no one.

Even against my will,
I still know every word you said.

Be your name, face, everything and anything you were,

But your thoughts.

It used to be your thoughts I knew the most, or as I thought,
because that was something that belonged to me for a fact,
just something we shared, and instantly connected through one glance,
something we broke not even in dream.

Something we would bury along side us in death and bring anywhere in life.

But i was wrong.

And there is no one to tell me otherwise anymore.

So I no longer share, it became something too big to bear,
something that used to be within the reach of our hands, became held by two hands and ten fingers less.