BloodSting ~ Hunger games fanfic

2; Farewell

I sat all alone on the velvety cushion, waiting for my loved ones to come in one by one and bid me farewell. I had no time to think before the door opened and the figure of my father came running to me, picking me up into his embrace, "Oh, my sweet sweet honeybee." That was all that came from his shaky lips before he bursted into tears, "I'm so so sorry.."

I can't cry. That is what I keep telling myself, but I can't stop the tears running down my cheek as I death-gripped my father's shirt in a tight hug.
"Don't be... nothing could be done," I choked on my tears, looking up at his face. Kei looked so much like our father, that I can't help but feel as though I'm staring into his eyes instead of our father's. Those same eyes that looked at me with so much fear, and there wasn't anything to do about it.

We stayed in each other's embrace for awhile, before he spoke again, "I'm proud of you, Bea. I really am." He sniffed, "You know that, right?" I could only nod in response. If I used words, I could sob just like him. It's one thing for a tribute to let a few tears slip out, but it's another when they have a full on mental breakdown. I can't cry here. I have to be strong. Until death comes and takes me away from this twisted world.
"I'm so so proud of you.." He murmured again, beginning to pet my golden-brown hair. I felt his tears fall down my back, staining my shirt. My poor, poor father. As he cries some more in my arms, I realize that this is going to be yet another Games that'll destroy him. Two of his precious kids in the arena, fighting to the death. He'll have Amethyst beside him though, and mother. But it'll never be the same for my family. He'll be too heartbroken, just like when his youngest brother was chosen for the Games years before me and Kei was born. Only I don't think he'll ever recover from this. Not until it's long in the past. Even then the memory will be there- the memory of the Capitol's twisted Games taking the life of his only son and youngest daughter.

No, not Kei- he won't lose Kei..
They won't take the life out of Kei. I won't let any opposing tributes lay a finger on him. I'll fight for his life, for him to be crowned victor. That will be my last mission before death. Keep Kei safe.
Without thinking, I put that into words for my father, "I promise, I'll bring him home safe.."
My father pulled away to look me in the eyes, tears streaming down his face, "Honey, please don't promise that.." He murmured. I looked at him confused.
"These Games are brutal, oh so horrible. There's only so much you can do to protect yourself, let alone another human being."
"But I'll try. No matter what happens, I'll keep him as safe as I can!" My voice raised and cracked with emotion. For a moment, my father stared at me, then a soft smile appeared on his face,
"Thank you, Bea."

The doors opened and two peacekeepers stood there, signaling that our time was over. My father kissed my forehead, petting my hair one last time, before walking out the door silently.
I was given a minute to compel myself, before Amethyst and my mother walked into the room. Their eyes and cheeks were red and puffy. They've seen Kei.

Amethyst was the first to hug me, her arms shaky as she mumbled the words, "I'm sorry" over and over. Then followed my mother, who was more calm then my sister. She pet my hair, soothing me, taking me back to when I was seven- the age of my mother petting your hair. We used to sit my the fireplace before bed, and my mother would always brush and pet my hair while humming lullabies.
My mother began to hum a little, then spoke, "Don't forget to smile." I looked into her forest green eyes, "For the cameras. Prove to everyone in Panem that you've got a strong soul."
I smiled softly, "Okay, I'll try. But I might also just express how I feel."
My mother shrugged, "It's the thought that counts."
Suddenly, Amethyst broke into tears.

"It's not fair!" She sobbed, "You shouldn't be going! It should've been me!!" She fell to her knees, covering her face with her hands to muffle the sounds, "It's one thing with Kei but you- I could've volunteered!! Instead I stood there sitting back and watching! I'm a horrible sister!" She sniffed, before going back to uncontrollably sobbing, "You probably hate me.."
"What?! I don't hate you." I pulled away from my mother's embrace and lowered down to put a hand on my sister's shoulder. She looked at me, her eyes full of tears and lip quivering with sorrow, "I love you, sis. And I don't blame you for not stepping up."
I never even thought about that. Not only because my own despair was so overpowering, but I knew my sister. All those years of vowing that one day she would be free from the Capitol, even though none of us truly are. Why would she throw that away? If I was her, and that thought came in mind, I too would only watch instead of volunteering.