atelophobia [poetry]

ᶠⁱʳˢᵗ ˡᵒᵛᵉ

i remember the first time
the first time I couldn't remember your company,
your hugs
or the feeling of your lips

i sat there
and the world fell silent
all at once
i felt overwhelmed and free at the same time

i thought,
and i thought,
but the feeling just rolled off me
like water on an umbrella

I couldn't imagine life without you
but it was happening.
i stared at the ceiling,
not quite able to cry but wanting to

i really loved you
and for a while,
you made me feel better,
my first love.