Beste freunde für immer (best friends for ever) Prussia x reader

chapter 19: farewell

{Prussia's pov}
Her hand dropped from my face.
My eyes welled with tears, I didn't want to belive it.

She lay lifeless in my lap.
My tears dropped onto her cheeks.
The time seemed so slow I couldn't hear anything I was stuck in the moment.

Then I snapped out of it and started sobbing over her body.
If only I did things differently.
If only I kept my promises.
If only i stayed as a stranger to her.
Then maybe she'd still be here.

I recalled the last moments.
She forgave me.
So maybe.....I'm not all bad to her.
I can't help to think it's all my fault because it is.

"Oi you potato bastard what are you doing to (y/n)" Romano shoved a gun to the back of my head.

I sobbed even harder.

"Sh...she's gone..." it was hard to get those words out.

"You fucking killed her....how I thought you loved her. She's all you talked about in the axis." Romano shouted at me and dropped his gun to sit the other side of (y/n).

"Nein....vell I had mein part in it but....Germany took her land vithout her knowing." I started to stroke (y/n)'s hair.

"Und I did love her but it vas complicated our past....it vas fun for a bit und zhen zhere vere so many problems ve couldn't handle all the trouble und ven our own vays.....i vish so bad to go back in time und grab her wrist before she left." I was shaking.

I was filled with so many emotions.
Sorrow
Anger
Regret
Fear

"Then why didn't you help her when you could. The states me and fratello saw her in.....WHY DIDNT YOU HELP."
Romano lunged and stabbed my side.

I gasped in pain and shock.
I looked at the injury.
"I...was scared." I spluttered.

When I looked back up.
Romano was crying.
Why was HE crying.

Almost as if he read my mind he answered.

"She was....the only one I felt safe enough to be myself and not be ridiculed" Romano explained

He took of his jacket and put it around her.
".....she looked cold."

"I suppose I should take her back home to be buried" I picked her up and started to make my way out of the trench.

Thus isn't how it should've gone none of this is.

Romano silently followed.
.
.
.
.
{After the war}

Every day seemed duller than the last.

I wish I was dissolved back then.

Me and germany had never been as close as before.
Neither had italy either he had been less enthusiastic about everything after the burial.

I got up from bed and made my way downstairs it's around 3pm.
I'll see you now.

I quickly popped into the florist and buy some (favourite/flowers).
It's summer, way too hot you always (hated/loved) summer.
Walking there took a chunck out of the day.
Finally I made it, 6pm, just in time.

I sat down next to you.

"guten Abend, I brought zhese for jou. I hope jou've been vatching over me. It vould make me feel better to know jou vere kesese. France und I have become better friends. He understands everything. He misses jou. Ve all do. Dont tell France or zhe Italian brothers but I miss jou zhe most.....its really unawesome frau zhat jou had to go die on me like zhat. But I understand I vould have died too I'm just too awesome to though. NOT ZHAT JOUR NOT AWESOME...."
I continued talking about recent events while watching the sun set.

Then I lie there in silence.

It's nice to think you're still with me maybe just overlooking my actions.
Maybe even protecting me.
Probably not.

I don't deserve it.

It starts to get quite dark.

"Vell, here's zhe vorst part of zhis day. Having to leave....Gute Nacht, mein Schatz" I kiss my fingers and gently touch the headstone.

I wipe away a few unawesome tears and walk home.

When I get in hes there.
"Hallo, bruder." Is all he said
"Ja, hallo" I grab a drink and take myself back upstairs.

I hate to admit it but I might hate ludwig.
I hate living with him, seeing his face.
He doesn't care about what he did well he doesn't seem to.

I sit at my desk and open a new page of my diary.

But I cant write, I put my head in my arms and cry.

I can't do anything I like anymore, they're constant reminders but in a bad way.

I'll just go back to bed.
That's all I seem to manage.

I catch a glint of my uniform jacket in the wardrobe and I rip it from the hanger and grab the other articles of clothing that match and I take it downstairs into the garden and grab a lighter.

I set the uniform on fire and just watch I don't notice ludwig coming out and sitting next to me.

"Jou know ...I feel bad everyday knowing how bad I've hurt jou und mein friends. I really hope one day ve can get back on good terms vith each other again." After that he leaves.

I'm glad he did another word and I might have attacked him. But I hope for the same thing no matter how unlikely.

I lie on the grass, It got extremely cold with the night. I dont care I just look at the stars.

I end up falling asleep.

I miss you.

Yours sincerely the awesome prussia.
Diary entry no.######