Mannat

10 | Engaged

QULSUM

I stand at the end of stairs looking at Shiza who was walking down with a huge smiled laced on her face. Her face gleaming with contentment.

I didn’t have a heart to say her the truth. I left everything upon Allah.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” came a manly voice from besides me startling me. I gasp placing my hand over my heart. I huff turning my head to look at Zayaan who was gazing at Shiza with love.

I felt a pang in my heart realising that I will never get to see Zayaan looking at me like that but somewhere I was happy. Maybe we weren’t meant to be together. Maybe someone better was written in my fate. With these ‘maybe’ in my mind, I sigh looking away from him.

“She definitely is beautiful.” I mutter biting inside of my cheek.

Today was their engagement and being around Zayaan was becoming more and more difficult; especially now when Zayaan had started showing his affection towards Shiza openly.

“I will go and check on mom” I say and turn around only for my hand to slightly brush against his. A cold shiver coursed down my spine the moment my skin contact with his.
I halt in my track inhaling deeply. Heaving my eyelids I peer at Zayaan only to find him already looking at me.

His touch had weird yet satisfactory effect on me. His eyes were swirling with concealed emotions; just like the first day. I felt the world around me disappear while I stare at his deep orbs.

A flickering of finger in front of my eyes broke our eye contact. I gulp lowering my eyes.

What on earth was I doing? He is Shiza's fiancée for God’s sake.

“Your mom is searching for you.” Aqsa announced grasping my hand and pulling me away from Zayaan.

“You cannot do this Qulsum. He is getting engaged to Shiza.” Aqsa yelled once we walked inside my room.
I plop on bed holding my head in my palms.

“I know Aqsa, I know. I’m trying hard not to feel anything for him. But —” I trail off with hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I was feeling pathetic for thinking about Zayaan. It’s like I’m cheating my sister.

Why can’t I just undo my feelings. Why can’t I stop feeling for him?

Aqsa squatted down in front of me and held my hand in hers. “I can understand Qulsum. But you have to try harder. It’s not only you, even Zayaan has to try harder.”

“What are you saying?” I ask with my brows furrowed.

“The thing which you are feeling right now; even he is feeling. Zayaan is fighting amidst his mind and heart. He loves Shiza but he can’t deny the pull he has for you. I have seen it in his eyes. His eyes always keep searching for you. He just doesn’t want to lose both you and Shiza. He doesn’t want to leave Shiza alone because both you and I know; if he does that you won’t be with Zayaan not to forget yours and Shiza bond will shatter like anything. Zayaan knows the consequences and he is trusting his mind over his heart. He is choosing Shiza over you because it’s best for all of you.” Aqsa gave my hand a light squeeze while my mind and body went numb after registering her words.

Why was it getting so complicated?

I really need to have a talk with Zayaan regarding this.

I and Aqsa made our way towards stage where Zayaan and Shiza were sitting smiling at everyone.
I watched as Zayaan slipped ring on her finger. Giving her a smile his eyes accidentally gazed in my direction and that’s when I saw what exactly Aqsa meant. His eyes displayed strange emotions as if he was hurt. I clutch Aqsa hand firmly and look away from him.