Mannat

21 | Pick your bride

Q U L S U M

“What are you saying?” Zayaan clenched his jaws and grasped one of my arm.

“The truth. Face it Zayaan, you know there is no you and I. It’s always been you and Shiza.” I fist his shirt in my hand and stare into his orbs.

“Qulsum, this is not the right time.” He answered with gravely calm voice.

“When is the right time then? She will get to know someday and then—” I pause gulping down the lump formed in my throat, “and then she is going to hate me.” I whisper dipping my teeth harder into my lower lip while streams of hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

No one till now was able to break the bond Shiza and I shared and today for the first I was scared to lose Shiza's trust.

Instead of answering Zayaan just stared at me with remorse filled in his eyes. It infuriated me, I was expecting an answer from him but instead all I got was his silence.

“Why are you silent huh? Are you enjoying this. Are you happy now that you have caused a chaos in both our lives.” I ask flaring my nostrils and looking at him in rage.

“Why will I be happy about this. You are accusing me wrongly.” He answered looking baffled.

“Am I Zayaan?” I whisper leaving his shirt and taking a step backward. Zayaan hands drops from my waist and my arm letting me free.

“Why would Nathan kidnap Shiza? I am sure he didn’t kidnap Shiza because she interests him. It’s because you couldn’t keep your enmity with him till your business and now because of you all our lives are in a huge mess.” I snarled wiping tears with back of my hand.

His dark bushy brows drew together over flashing blue eyes. His jaws clenched, “I know it Qulsum and it’s hurting me every second. You don’t have to say it loud and make it more worse than it already is.” His Adam apple bobbed up and down as he averted his gaze away from me. His hands clenched, temples pulsating.

“Why are you getting angry Zayaan. I should be the one getting angry here. How can I face her? I can’t see hatred in her eyes. She is my baby sister, I love her.” I mutter feeling my heart brim with agony.

“— and I love her too.” He answered, his voice was clear and loud.

I shut my eyes close letting his words engulf within me.
Curling my lips upwards, I sniff and open my drenched eyelids and peer at him.

“Exactly my point Zayaan. You love her and she loves you. Where am I in this? My life is messed up, it’s torn apart… I am striving to collect myself, to make myself strong. It will be better if you stop trying to make conversation with me or trying to placate me. I don’t need you. Not now nor later. You don’t have to tell Shiza anything. I just want some time and then I’ll not come in between you two.” I said in quivering voice.

“Qulsum —” he trailed off. Raking finger through his messed hair he looked at me, “I can’t say I don’t love Shiza because I still do love her but I — you are my — you are —” he stammered.

Letting out a dry and pained chuckle I shake my head, “Don’t try Zayaan. You’ll not be able to find a proper word. I am just a substitute bride.” I said wiping my tears from the back of my hand.

“I told you earlier also Qulsum. I’ll never take a sacred bond like marriage lightly. It’s just — I need some time. I’ll tell Shiza but I need time.” Zayaan answered.

“No she doesn’t have to know about our marriage. I know my sister too well, once this truth comes out she will sacrifice her love for me. I might not end up with you Zayaan but you’ll not end up with Shiza as well. You both will suffer because of me and I won’t let that happen.”