Savior in Red

Raphael experiences a panic attack and I'm so sorry.

Raphael felt his center of gravity shift to her. Logically, he knew this was an awful idea. She had no idea what he or his brothers even were. He had saved her life and she was just misunderstanding her feelings of gratitude. Yes, yes. That must be it. He gazed down at her, taking in her expression. Her face was relaxed, her lips slightly parted, and begging to be kissed. Raph felt a dam inside of himself burst.

"Oh, what the hell." He leaned down to bridge the gap and press his lips against hers when—

An irritated rapping sounded at the window. Leo's voice rattled through Raph's ears—well, sort of his ears. "Let's get a move on, Raphael."

An irritated huff came from the woman in his arms. He returned the sentiment. With one last gentle squeeze of the woman's waist, Raph released her and climbed out of the window. After a moment, his mask was set on the sill. He listened carefully as her footsteps signaled her retreat before reaching up and grabbing the red fabric. The way home was an unbearably tense one. At first Raph lied to himself with the thought that Leo couldn't have seen or known what he and Annie had just about done. But the rising tension throughout the rest of the trip squashed that hope. Leo knew, and he must be pissed.

After what felt like years, they finally arrived home. Leo briefed Master Splinter on the Annie situation and they were dismissed. Raph quickly made his way towards his room to try and delay the inevitable, but he was frozen in place by Leo's commanding voice.

"Raphael. We need to talk. Now."

A deep groan tumbled through Raph's chest. "Fine. Meet me in the Hashi."

Leo followed Raph silently, seemingly trying to organize his thoughts. The nervous energy made Raph flighty, so he took it out on the poor punching bag while waiting for Leonardo to speak. The blue-banded turtle finally took a deep breath in and began quietly.

"Do you... have feelings for Annie?" Raph froze, the punching bag swinging and chain creaking was the only thing to break the silence. Leo continued. "I'll take that as a 'yes.'Raphael I saw you two. You looked...-"

Unnatural. Wrong. Disgusting. Raphael's brain supplied.

"-Raph, you looked so peaceful."

The turtle in question's head whipped around to study his brother. Was he kidding? He couldn't possibly support this.

"I know that we don't always get along. We butt heads. And I know I can come off as overbearing and controlling, sometimes."

"That's the understatement of the century." Leo fixed him with a stern look.

"But, I just want to protect you and the rest of the family. I'm still learning to be a good leader, but more than that, I'm still learning how to be a good brother. There are a thousand doubts running through my mind about you and Annie being together."

Raphael fidgeted uncomfortably, bracing himself for the crushing of his dreams.

"But the thought that rings louder than any other is the happiness I see in you when she's around. So, I know you don't need it and you probably don't want it, but you have my blessing to pursue something with Annie."

Raphael wanted to pinch himself. Instead, he settled on pulling his brother into an awkward bro-hug. "Thank you. That means a lot, Leo. I really thought you were calling me in here to lecture me."

Leo chuckled. "Who, me? Can't imagine why you'd think that." Raph snorted. "But, seriously. Please be careful. I don't want you getting hurt."

Raphael nodded. "Could we keep this between us? At least for now?" Leo frowned.

"I don't often keep secrets from Master Splinter."

"I'm not saying lie to him. If he asks, I wouldn't ask you to lie. Just... until I know for sure. Maybe don't tell the others?"

"That I can do. Although, I'm pretty sure Mikey knew before I did. He's perceptive about that kind of thing."

Raphael sighed. Of course Mikey would've noticed. He could only hope the shell-head would keep his mouth shut for now. No way was Raph gonna confirm his suspicions by asking. As for Splinter, he didn't want to face the embarrassment of telling him now and it all crashing down later.

Leonardo gave him one last pat on the back before making his way back to the main area. Mikey was probably fixing a post-mission snack right about now. Raph could hear him fumbling around the kitchen. He imagined Donnie was back in his lab where he would most likely stay until he was pulled away. Master Splinter was probably meditating by now. Raph took a second to just exist in this space—this home that he and his family had built. There only seemed to be one thing missing: Annie.

Leo put his hand on the door, then paused. He turned back to Raphael and hesitated again before speaking.

"You know, you're going to have to show her the truth soon."

It was like a bucket of cold water. But it was true and Raph knew it. His eyes studied the punching bag closely for a moment. Leo sighed before exiting the Hashi to go enjoy the rest of his night. It wasn't fair to keep Annie in the dark. Especially not when he was trying to cultivate something with her. He'd have to show her what she was getting into... What she was falling for. Anxiety gripped at his chest, somehow constricting his heart and quickening his heart rate at the same time. His vision grew spotty and he plopped down onto the ground, desperately practicing those breaths Sensai had taught him.

He had to tell the truth, and it had to be soon. Whatever confidence that almost-kiss had given him was snuffed out in a racing heartbeat.