Kim Jungwoo, my first love.
But also, the absolute player of the century.
I've liked him since high school, but have always been too shy to ask him out, as I watched him play with the never-ending queue of sexy, alluring and attractive women. Partic...
"Hey, Aera, you came!" A familiar voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I jumped in surprise.
Mr Worldwide Playboy.
"Oh, Jungwoo." I replied simply, a harshness to my tone. "Congratulations." I sighed, trying to swallow the growing lump in my throat.
"Thanks duckling," Jungwoo beamed, only causing my heart to throb. The use of his nickname for me touched my heart, only making me more confused about my emotions. I could feel the tears reaching my eyes, and prayed to leave soon. "Is that cake for me?" He teased, leaning over to see the thick white box in my arms.
"Oh, this?" I looked down as well, handing it towards him. "Of course, who else would it be for?"
Happily he opened up the lid, biting down a wide smile as he saw the pretty cake inside. It had bright pastel yellow lemon buttercream, with cute white daisies piped all over.
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"Did you make it yourself?"
"Yep. It's lemon, your favourite." I informed, a deadpan expression on my face. "Enjoy it, because I have to go now." I quickly checked I had my purse on me, avoiding eye contact with Jungwoo before scurrying off.
"Wait- AERA! Is something wrong??" I heard Jungwoo yell after me, but I didn't turn back. I couldn't let him know why I was about to cry. He'd never look at me the same way ever again, knowing I liked him.
And imaging my first love staring back at me with disgust and disdain made my heart break into a million pieces.
----
It was the day after when I was on my way to class, checking my phone. Once I finished scrolling down the messages of Lia telling me to man up and grow some balls and just confess, I checked my other messages, one from my mom telling me to stay healthy and a couple from Jungwoo, who spam messaged me 'what's wrong'. I sighed at the 23 messages from him, feeling stupid for yesterday. Stupid for everything.
I shouldn't have acted like that yesterday. Now I either have to tell Jungwoo the truth to why I ran off or make a really good excuse. And I am not great at those.
As I stepped into the classroom, I took a seat at the back in the sun-basked classroom, where I usually did. Just at that moment, I felt the presence of someone else besides me.
"Hey, Aera, are you ok?" Jungwoo slumped into the chair next to me, pulling out his books, his voice carrying a tinge of sadness.
"Of course I'm ok, why wouldn't I be?"
"Aera listen, you know you can tell me if you have any problems, right?" Jungwoo said sincerely as I briefly gazed into his eyes. I saw the genuine disappointment in his eyes, his charming glint somewhat faded. A lump grew in my throat, surprised as I had never seen him like this apart from when he first broke up with Sana. Did I really do this?
"Just know, it's not your fault." I sighed, feeling guilty as my emotions built up. "And stop calling me by my name, it's too serious, which is unlike you."
Which was true. Duckling was the name he adopted for me ever since high school. And he'd always use that instead of my actual name. When I first had a crush on him and we became friends, I would follow him around, eating lunch with him on certain days and inviting him to hang out with me and Lia. I would also give him love notes from our other classmates, teasing him about his popularity until he eventually got his first girlfriend, Sana. He named me duckling because I'd always follow him around, always needy about asking for advice and asking for homework, as well as spending as much time as possible around him.
It was an appropriate nickname, and of course, Sana never liked this. I wouldn't have either if I were her. We were never on great terms, there was always an inexplainable sense of tension. That's what made her dating Jungwoo worse. She was so perfect and loved by everyone. But she never seemed to like me, and I may have admittedly taken it too personally.
...
By the end of our class, I swiftly shoved my books in my bag, speeding out the class as quick as I could.
"Aera, wait! Don't you want to get a snack or something?" Jungwoo called from behind me as we were the last to leave, and I paused in the doorway.
"I'm busy. I'm sorry."
----
As I lay bored on my wide bed, I began to fret. I worried about the future of me and Jungwoo's relationship, wondering how much the both of us could tolerate before it ended.
But our bond is strong right? A little break wouldn't end it, right?
Hm, maybe I'm being too extreme.
I racked my brain full of memories, replaying the ones that reminded me why I liked Jungwoo so much.
...
We were 16 when I finally started to try take care of myself. Him and Sana had just gotten together, and I was feeling rather envious, wanting to get a piece of satisfaction myself.
So unlike usual I took my time to do my hair, giving it the right amount of volume and applied a healthy amount of skincare, making sure my skin was radiating beautifully when I finished.
That day Lia complimented me like crazy, hyping me up and praising my skills. I was so flattered and so touched and felt very pretty that day. I couldn't wait to see Jungwoo in class, and when I did, he didn't seem to care at all. He just pretended like it was any other day.
However as I was minding my own business, doodling in my sketchpad, I felt a boy tap my shoulder from the desk behind, causing my heart to drop when I realised who it was. The school bully. I was terrified of him, even if he didn't really trouble me. But that day he made fun of me, saying I really thought I was beautiful and that my face still looked like a pizza regardless. He made fun of my hair, saying it was a stupid attempt to 'get hot'. My heart pounded at every insult he shot, my heart soaking it up like a sponge. He tore me into pieces, embarrassing me.
That was until Jungwoo who sat in front of me whipped around, and told the bully and his friend to shut up, and that they were rich to be making fun of other's appearances. Jungwoo seemed so cool then, completely fearless as he scolded the bully, eventually getting them to shut up.
That bully never bothered me again, and afterwards, Jungwoo said 'You look pretty everyday, but extra pretty today. Ignore the bullies'. I was so flattered, I bought him ice cream afterwards, but that was before he was whisked away by Sana, who glared at me as they walked off through the school grounds.
...
As I lay in my bed at current time, I reminisced on the memories, suddenly missing spending time with Jungwoo.
