I Just Want To Take Another Look (Bucky x Reader Rock Star AU)

4: UNREWARDING REWARD

As you and your team Prepared for the Grammys, your and Bucky's fighting did cool down in the slightest. One night you came home and this time he didn't bother trying to hide it he was in the master bath, doing heroin you walked in to find him shooting up. "What the fuck, Bucky." You rushed over, dropping your bag to the floor and everything, you cupped his face. "Look I know we've been fighting but this, this is extreme, how long have you been doing this for?" You asked. Bucky's eyes had gone lidded and he practically collapsed onto you, pulling him to the bed and laying him under the covers you left to the kitchen to make yourself dinner.

    In the weeks nearing the event of the Grammy's you we're starting to have second guesses, Bucky clearly not doing well, being high or drunk and it was taking its toll on you and him. You were currently thinking about telling Brock that you wouldn't go and that Bucky needed you more, the door of the room opened, you rubbed the tears from your eyes, and walked the man of the hour. "Bucky, what are you doing here?"  You asked your eyes casted to the cement floors.

    He kneeled in front of you and he held your hands. "I'm sorry I've been a bastard to you and you don't deserve it, I hope you know I mean it when I tell you I love you."

    You nodded. "I know you do, but why are you doing heroin?" You asked with concern.

    He tilted his head in confusion, not knowing how'd you know about it. "Did you go through my stuff?" He asked accusingly.

    "No, you shot up right in front of me, and then you passed out on me." You told him truthfully.

    "I've been doing it before I even met you, so you can cross us fighting off the list of why." He said looking at you. "Look I am fucking proud that your nominated."

    "No forget it, I-I'm gonna tell Brock that I can't go." You said. "I don't like that a stupid award show is putting a big wedge between us Bucky, I love you, and don't like all of the fighting, the awards aren't even worth it at this point, I wanna be here for you." You gaped his right tattooed hand and held it in yours.

    "You deserve it, Y/n you deserve it more than any of those other fuckers including me, I've been a jealous fuck and a shitty husband, you don't deserve it, just so you know I'll be by your side every step of the way from here on out I promise, I should have been from the beginning." He told you, giving a gentle reassuring squeeze with his right hand.

    You gave him a thin lip smile. "When are you and the band going to perform next?" You asked.

    "In a few weeks." He shrugged. "In um, Vegas."

    "I'll be there. I promise I'll come watch you guys." You promised with a sincere smile. "Just please try and not use the hard core drugs as much."

    He nodded. "I'll try."

    You felt like you could take in fresh air again, since you and Bucky were on the same page again. You and Bucky we're becoming a big center of the media for the fact that both of you were up for the same category, wondering what was going on between both of you behind closed doors. But since clearing things up he and you were cool headed about it you knew that Axis, the band, deserved the reward, they sometimes did huge stunts for shows and other things, while at your shows it was you, some dances and flashing lights and other things, you knew Axis had the award in the bag, and you couldn't be more happy for the band, they were still doing great for themselves. Bucky began to use more and more, alcohol, coke, and heroin to escape all of the drama he knew, everyone knew you were going to win the awards in the three categories you were in, they just put Axis in the category for best performance just to stir drama between the couple.

    When he performed in Vegas, it felt like old time before any of the drama, when he kinda stopped his excessive drinking. You watched from the left wing of the stage where you cheered on the band, in support. It was amazing to watch Bucky back in his space, you and he were happy for the first time in a while.

    Bucky and Steve walked down one of the lanes of the venue for the Grammys. "Feels like fucking déjà vu." Bucky said to Steve.

    "It's going to be fucking awesome, to do this again." Steve sighed, looking around, as they did the sound check.

    Soon the night of the Grammy's came your dad came out to see you. "Hey dad." You smiled in the chair where your hair and makeup was getting done, the gorgeous blue dress you were going to wear sitting in the bag you were having a great time seeing him again.Bucky came out of the room he was getting ready in he was greeted warmly by your father he came up and kissed you. "Are you okay?" You asked.

    "Yeah, I'm fine." He says.

    "Are you sure?" You tilt your head in concern.

    He nodded. "Yeah I'm great, they wanted me to get there early so once we are done with our performance I'll come and sit next to you."

    "That's great we get to see you perform, tonight we get to see you sing, hey uh Bucky, that's a great collection of vinyl you got in there." Your dad complimented.

    "Take whatever you want, it's yours." Bucky smiled kindly to your father, assuring him it was fine for him to have any of the records he'd like.

    Bucky was sitting at the free bar, he was on what he thought was his fifth drink but he wasn't sure, then he lanked off to the bathroom, shot up and snorted, walking out as if nothing happened. Everything looked like it was moving and he walked out onto the stage doing the opening for the show, they did a cover of pretty woman.

    You sat in the crowd watching and it wasn't hard to tell he was drunk off his ass, you griped the armrest of your seat once the song was over, he stumbled over to the seat next to yours. "Hey." You smiled, gripping his arm, the show went, the whole show was going as expected for everyone, though you couldn't stop Bucky from drinking, then the category you were waiting for best new artist came up, they announced all of the other people in the category including you. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion when the presenter said your name, you and the group you came with stood up, everyone applauding you, you hugged Brock, your dad you helped Bucky up out of his chair. "Did you win is that why every one's cheering?" Bucky asked as you walked side by side up to the stage.

You nodded. "Yes." You smiled, you made your way up to the stage with tears of excitement in your eye, you kissed Bucky. "Go sit back down, go sit back down." You told him he fell onto the staircase.

"I'll stay right here." He said.

You didn't hear him, you thought he was going back to the seats. "Thank you." You hugged the presenter. "First off, I'd like to thank my wonderful record company who helped this come true, I-I can't believe I'm holding one of these."

"You won, did you win?" Bucky asked drunkenly from the staircase.

You glanced at him. "Um thank you to James Barnes, my husband, I love you so much." You continued your speech, Bucky got up and walked to you. "I always wanted to be a singer on a big stage and because of him I can." You smiled, you gave him a side hug, he pointed to the screen behind you with your face on it. "I started out singing with this beautiful man and his band who warmly accepted me even if our music was vastly different. I'll sing with him for life. I'm blessed to be in the company of such wonderful musicians and people alike." As you spoke people let out a small laughs and oh's, your brows furrowed, you looked over at Bucky and notice why they were making the noises it was out of disgust he peed himself you tried covering his pants with your dress as you tried to guide him off stage he fell to the floor. Soon your dad, and Peter were crying him into the hotel in which you were staying at.

    "Put him in the shower." You told them.

    He nodded. "Okay yeah, you just go and wait in there." He told you.

    "No dad." Brock pulled you away you could hear the angry words your dad spoke to Bucky as you were pulled down the hallway.

    Soon enough you were let into the bathroom you stood crying then got in with your dress on with Bucky on the floor, you helped him sit up and the both of you sat there under the pouring water of the shower head, you pulled him close. "Axis won best performance." You mumbled to him, he didn't respond, you had also won best pop solo album but obviously weren't there to accept the award.