I Just Want To Take Another Look (Bucky x Reader Rock Star AU)

7: I'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN

You couldn't get the flash of the red and blue from the ambulance that carried him away as they laid a stark white sheet over him as you'd arrived in a hurry, you collapsed to the paved driveway of your home, your heart pounded in your ears. Steve clasped your shoulders in comfort and support.

Days later, you sat at the piano and the tune you played was sad as you felt, you would sleep for hours on end and would cry at night, not able to sleep in the bed you used to share together with your husband, Wolf and Alpine would curl up to you, day time would often blend into night.

Peter came to visit you at one point. "I can stay if you want." He offered you.

You shook your head. "I-I cant ask you to do that."

One day out of blind rage and sadness you destroyed all of the framed vintage movie posters of his  that sat on a wall

Steve would swing by very often, and out of this whole thing you finally met his family, first at the funeral it wasn't pleasant for you, you mainly kept to yourself the whole time until a little girl who had dropped her toy in front of you picked it you she said a bright 'Hi!' Then her mother beckoned her to come there. You looked up to the woman who had bright blue eyes like he had and dark brown hair, what you'd assumed was his natural hair color, from old photos. She had come up to you. "You got him to be sober?" Becca asked you.

"Yeah, but I-I don't know what pushed him." Your voice was filled with hollowness.

She shrugged. "Did he tell you he already tried before? It was after our sister died, to be honest I'm surprised it wasn't the same reason she died of alcohol poisoning, I'm not trying to be rude in any way." She assured you. "I loved my brother so much, but he became so hooked that he wouldn't listen to us any longer so our parents cut ties with him ."

"I can't say I really understand but when I first met him I didn't want to go with him because he was a drunk." You told her honestly. His family would visit you to make sure you were okay and you would make sure they were okay and you had a very close relationship with your now nieces and nephews.

Steve sat across from you telling you about something that had happened in the last week. "Some kid started singing one of his songs in a bar I was in the other night. They're playing his songs everywhere. At first I got angry.I don't know why. I guess I felt like....."How can any of these people feel like they knew him?" Who he really was. But then something changed. And it soothed me. That it wasn't...wasn't all for fucking nothing."

"Steve, the last thing I did was lie to him, straight to his face." You shook your head at yourself in shame.

"Listen to me, it's not your fault it's not my fault it's his fault he did that to himself there is nobody to blame other than him." Steve tells you.

"I just wish he gave me...us an explanation as to why what led him there?" You asked.

Brock knew it was actually his fault if he hadn't said anything this wouldn't have happened and by all means this isn't what he meant to happen if anything he expected a divorce. The day you came into his office telling him you refused to put any other songs or albums out was the day he was now in ruins.

Sooner than later there was a memorial that would be your last performance. "Thank you all for coming tonight in honor of my husband, he wrote a song for me and I hope with all of your help that I can."

One years later

You sat on the couch watching a Disney movie while the little girl on your lap was requesting your attention to help her stand up. Ruth, she had his dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and his chin, she had your nose, cheeks and ears. You kept in touch with his family and Steve, knowing she'd need cousins and aunts and uncles to love her, and when she was old rough you'd tell her your and her daddy's story, you gave your heart and love to this little girl and no one would be able to take that or her away from you, after all she was one of the last things you had of Bucky's.

Don't wanna give my heart away

To another stranger

I'll never love again...