[Jerry is sitting on the sofa in his workshop reading the newspaper. He's lying down and seems pretty relaxed at the moment. He seems to be the only one in the workshop at the moment. Asher must be off somewhere doing something else. Jerry lets out a deep breath as he reads the paper, he reads one of the headlines out loud.]
Jerry: *Deep Exhale* "Radio Demon Wrecks Havoc Through the Eastern Side of Pentagram City, Kills Two Overlords and Shows No Sign of Stopping!" Hmm... Probably should keep Asher away from the Eastern side so he doesn't get himself erased off the face of hell...
*Clang*
Jerry: Hm?
[Jerry lowers the newspaper and looks around for where the clanging noise came from. He looks all around his workshop but can't see anything or anyone that could have caused the noise. Everything looks to be where it usually is and nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. Jerry shrugs and goes back to reading the paper.]
Jerry: Eh.
*Clang*
???: Fuck.
Jerry: Huh?
[Jerry lowers his newspaper once again. He looks around his workshop confused about where the clanging noise, along with the unknown voice, came from.]
Jerry: The hell?
[He surveys his workshop once again. Still nothing.]
Jerry: Mmm...
[Jerry glares at his surroundings before going back to reading the newspaper.]
*Clang* *Clank*
???: Uh-oh.
[Jerry lowers his newspaper and looks around the workshop with a pissed-off and annoyed expression.]
Jerry: Alright! Who the hell is in here!
[He looks around his workshop once again. Still nobody in sight throughout the entire area. Jerry folds the newspaper closed and continues to survey the room.]
Jerry: Hey! Show yourself!
*CLANK*
???: UH-OH!
Jerry: Where the hell are you-
*CLANG* *CLANK*
???: AHHHHHHH-
*CRASH*
[Something just fell from the rafters of Jerry's workshop. That something was also screaming and landed on one of his workbenches, completely destroying it and creating a large dust cloud. Jerry tosses his newspaper aside and stands up from the sofa. He stares completely bewildered at whatever just fell from the rafters.]
Jerry: What the hell!?!?
???: *Cough* *Cough* *Cough* AHHHHWWW!!! Fuck that hurt! *Cough* *Cough*
[Jerry runs over to a railing and puts his hands on it while leaning over it. He stares at the dust cloud completely bewildered. Whoever just fell begins to cough and swat the dust cloud away. As the dust dissipates, it reveals Asher. Who for some reason, has fake gray rabbit ears on his head. His gas mask seems to have whiskers painted on it along with a bright pink dot for a nose. Jerry, now realizing what just happened, ditches the confused expression and takes on a pissed one.]
Jerry: ASHER!?!? What the hell were you doing up on the rafters!?!?
[Asher shakes his head, getting some dust off. He looks over at Jerry who's angrily glaring at him.]
Asher: *Cough* I was looking for eggs!
[Jerry's expression changes to a completely confused one.]
Jerry: Wha- What?
[Asher puts his hands in the air and smiles.]
Asher: (Yelling) Happy Easter!!! WOOO-HOOOO!!!
Jerry: Oh son of a-
[Jerry bends down and grabs an empty liquor bottle. He then throws it at Asher with all of his might.]
Asher: WOOOO-
*Bonk* *Shatter*
[The bottle hits Asher's head and shatters upon impact. He falls to the ground face-first into the destroyed workbench. He mumbles with his face in the debris and dust.]
Asher: (Mumbles) Ow.
[Jerry facepalms and groans. He curses Asher out between his teeth.]
Jerry: *Annoyed Groan* (Through Teeth) Humpty dumpty dumbass fucking demon...
[Asher pushes himself up and gets on his knees. He gives Jerry a thumbs up.]
Asher: Happy Easter! *Cough* *Cough* Ouch.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N:
Happy Easter everyone! And if you don't celebrate Easter, then I'll hunt you down and cut your head off ya bloody heathen! For legal reasons, that was a joke! I just wanted to make a small, one-shot chapter showing how Asher attempts to celebrate the holidays in hell. He will celebrate other holidays at some point but I just wanted to do an easter one since this came to my head and I thought it was kind of funny. Anyways, enjoy the holidays!
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Headaches & Hazbins: Book 1: New Kind of Life, New Kind of Hell
FanfictionYa either go up or down... A small-time robber, Asher C. Burns, takes the trip down after he meets his end in an attempt to save his boss from life in prison at Alcatraz. After death, he finds himself in the chaotic hellhole of Pentagram City. Now p...
